A Meeting In The Closet
by EmilyRo132
Summary: Broom closets are never good. Why hadn't she realised that before? Oh yeah, cause she's an idiot. Lily Evans could of studied literally anywhere. But she chose a closet. The very same closet, which James Potter found her in. Who knew a broom closet could create such a fiery mess of hot gossip and lies hellbent on ruining her carefully constructed life? Yeah, Broom closets suck.
1. Embarrassment in the closet

**AN:/Well hello there, this is my first ever fanfiction!:D I do hope you enjoy it.  
****_Diclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, these are her wonderful characters:3_**

Lily Evans pulled her long red hair behind her shoulders and took a shaky breath. O.W.L revision was getting fierce, with teachers piling on the homework and students losing their temper at almost anything.

Lily herself was more stressed than she had ever been and right now, the last thing she needed was James bloody Potter and his friends. So why, she asked herself, why did he always just seem to pop up wherever she tried to avoid him? Lily scratched her quill against her nose and looked around her surroundings. She was stuffed into a broom closet on the third floor with her Defence homework sprawled in front of her. It had been half an hour since she'd seen Potter, and thought it was going quite well. She continued writing for a while until she heard a familiar voice. Her quill stopped. No. How could he have found me? Sure enough, minutes later, the door burst open and there stood James Potter, in all his over inflated, egotistical glory.

"Ah Evans, there you-"  
Lily gritted her teeth and stared down at the words she had written so far.  
"-are!"  
He gestured to the dank closet in which she had enclosed her self.  
"A broom closet, you're the first person I've ever found in here who wasn't up to something." He wiggled his eyebrows. Lily looked up, confusion flashing in her eyes.  
"Too innocent Evans?" James smirked. "I think, in that exact place where you're sitting, I had my first kiss." Lily sucked in a breath and jumped up, books clattering from her knees onto the floor. James continued. "Yes, I remember it well…Vanessa Bulstrode…shocking girl, she was fourth year at the time; me just first." James smiled, messing his hair up. Lily wrinkled her eyes.  
"Potter, as much as I enjoy listening to you talking…please stop before my ears implode."  
Lily turned around and stuffed her things into her bag. She spun forward, only to find he had moved closer.  
"You wound me, darling!" James winked as Lily backed away, glaring.

"Move, Potter." She raised her wand. "I'm serious, don't make me hex you!" Lily saw him open his mouth but stopped him once more. "And don't even dare make another 'serious-sirius' joke. You and your followers killed that one way back in first year." James laughed.  
"I'll have to agree Evans, you read my mind." He reached up and loosened his tie. "Why in such a hurry?" Lily rolled her eyes.  
"I'm meeting a friend soon, and I wouldn't want to be late." James raised an eyebrow. "Who? Marlene's with Sirius…don't ask," He added as Lily gasped. "Alice is with Frank and as far as I know, Hestia is in Hogsmeade trying to talk to one Amos Diggory." Lily tightened her grip on the heavy books she was carrying.  
"And how, do you possibly know all of that?" How _did _he know where her friends were when she herself hadn't known anything? Marlene and Sirius…when had _that _happened?

"Well Evans, if I told you that, you would know one of the marauder's most kept secrets…and we couldn't have that, could we!" Lily scowled. "Oh don't twist up your pretty little face like that, someone might hit you with a freezing charm and it'd be stuck like that forever!" Now choosing to ignore him, Lily pushed past and made for the door.

Of course, she was Lily Evans and nothing could ever be so simple. She tripped over a bucket just as her hand had clasped the door handle. James lashed forwards and grabbed her other wrist, but the door opened. They both fell out of the closet. The corridor was crowded and their exit made a loud commotion; almost everyone stopped and stared at them. Whispers whipped through the small crowd. Lily was lying, legs sprawled and skirt pushed up to an indecent length. Her hair was fanned out behind her and she could practically see her nose turning cherry red if she looked between her eyes. Of course, it didn't help that James Potter was on top of her.

James lifted his head, which had previously been sitting on Lily's chest. He gulped. Lily hissed at him. "Potter," She whispered, voice high pitched. "Potter. Get _off _me now!" James cursed loudly and stumbled up. "N-nothing to see here." He addressed the crowd, which had grown louder now.  
"Patrick you owe me 10 galleons!" A voice from the back said as another moaned. "Potter and Evans!" Another shouted. "I knew it!"  
"Wait 'till I tell Mary!" A shrill voice sounded from the middle.

By now, Lily had come to her senses. She got up and made sure her skirt was at her knees, and that her hair was suitably flattened. "Everyone!" Lily practically screamed. "Potter and I are not going out! Nor were we, er, snogging in the broom closet!" A few scoffed.  
"Yeah and I'm a house elf in disguise!"  
"We're not stupid!"  
Lily clenched her fists. "We're bloody not! I was in there trying to get away from him but he found me! The idiot tried to save me, failing, obviously as he pushed me out of the door." She paused. "Not my fault he tied his feet in knots and fell on me." Nodding to the stunned crowd, Lily breathed out and walked away.

Lily kicked the wall with her foot once she'd turned the corner. James Potter always brought out the worst in her. Glancing behind to make sure he hadn't followed, she sighed. Severus…that's who she really needed to talk too…but would he really care?  
Lately, he'd been distant. She knew that they would inevitably grow apart. He was slytherin. The 'enemy.'  
Merlin, how stupid was that? How can Dumbledore natter on about wizarding unity…when we're all split at the age of eleven? Stamped, drilled into our heads. These are your friends, and these are not your friends. Lily continued down the corridor. She'd said she would meet him by the lake.

As Lily approached, she saw him sitting beneath the oak tree. His back was too her, though when she shuffled closer, his back stiffened. "Lily," He muttered, still not turning around. "You're late." Lily sat beside him. "Yeah I know…I got, held up." He looked across at her.  
"Held up?"  
She stared out onto the lake, pulling her scarf closer around her neck. For the end of April, it was rather cold. "Yeah…in the great hall, um, Marlene had to talk to me about something." Severus nodded, smiling frostily. "Well, you're here now I guess." She nodded. "How're you?" She asked, feeling awkward. She'd just lied…why? It was just Sev after all. He shrugged. "Fine."  
Lily doubted that very much. His face was pale and sallow. "You sure, Sev?" Lily patted his shoulder and he tensed.  
"I don't know about those friends you hang around with…Avery and Mulciber, I mean, aren't they from those pureblood extremist families? Them and the Malfoys and Blacks?"  
Severus shifted a little away. "Lily, they're my friends."  
"Yeah, I know, I just…don't want you to get hurt."  
"I'm not going to get hurt! I know what I'm doing." Lily raised her eyebrows. "And what exactly are you doing Sev?" He shuddered.  
"Lil', trust me…and don't ask."

Lily sighed and decided not to push the subject anymore. She changed topics. "So, still re-writing Advanced Potion Making then?" Severus brightened considerably, and began chatting about beginning to create his own hexes and jinx's. "Nothing too dangerous Lily, just little handy tricks for when the marauders are near." Lily frowned.  
"That's great Severus, just be careful." He winced. "What? You don't think I can handle Potter and Black?" Lily shook her head quickly. "No, it's just…oh I don't know Severus. They are pretty smart, right? And everyone knows transfiguration is their strong point…I guess I'm worried they would turn you into a ferret or something and feed you to the giant squid." Severus turned and glared at her. "Nice to know you have such confidence in me." He said stonily.  
"C'mon Sev, you know what I mean!"  
"No Lily! I don't think I do!" He shouted, suddenly getting to his feet. "Want to know what I think? I think you might actually be starting to like Potter!" Lily laughed. "Don't be an idiot Severus. You know how much I can't stand him."  
"He's the enemy Lily!" She rolled her eyes.  
"What is it with you boys? All this rubbish about fraternising with the enemy! We all go to the same school!" Severus muttered something Lily didn't catch. She stood and walked closer to him. "Severus, you know I detest the marauders." He looked at her, but his eyes were dead. "Things change, Lily."


	2. Rumour Mill

Lily fell back onto her four-poster bed, breathing heavily. After that dreadful conversation with Severus on top of the awkward event with James Potter…she basically wanted to curl up with some strawberry ice cream and read…for the rest of her life. How was she ever going to show her face again? The walk back up to the common room had been bad enough. A pudgy first year had offered her two sickles and a knut for 'all the gossip with you and James Potter!' A sixth year blonde had stormed up to her sobbing; demanding to know what James had ever done to deserve such heartache and trauma in his life. In spite of herself, Lily had laughed at that for a good 4 seconds before yet another fellow student reminded her that she had no reason to be laughing. It had been Melinda Doris; Hogwarts' biggest and most secretly hated person.  
Even McGonagall must loathe her after the rumour she spread about her and Dumbledore 'getting steamy' in the staff room over Christmas break. While Dumbledore had cheerily taken the gossip, even adding preposterous tales to it, McGonagall had been fuming. The 550 points taken off the house that year had sunk Gryffindor into last place…and not just last place, as Slughorn had so happily reminded her over a box of crystallised pineapple, celebrating Slytherin's victory, but 'the first ever Hogwarts house to finish with a grand total of zero points at the end of the year!' If Melinda spread something about you, you were ruined; reputation gone in the whispering of those lip-gloss clad lips over a crystal ball in Divination.

So, when Lily had seen Melinda speedily coming her way, she'd known that she was in trouble. "Lily! Lily Evans!" She had shouted. "Is it true? Are you and James Potter finally going out? Oh, Lily this is so brilliant! I'm so happy for you! Y'know, if you ever need anyone to talk to, about your relationship I mean, I'll be there for you. My lips are sealed!" Lily had scoffed and walked on, ignoring the shouts. "You know where I am Lily!"

Here she was now, fully despairing and for the first time in her life, considering leaving Hogwarts and running away. Lily dismissed the thought; to do so she would have to leave her dorm and _that _was never going to happen.

"Lily!" She had fallen asleep, without even realising. Wow, she thought, things must be bad. "Lily Marie Evans wake up right now and tell your best friends what the bloody hell happened to you today!" She moaned, turning over and stuffing her face onto the pillow. "Go away…" She muttered. "Don't wanna talk about it…" There was silence, and Lily closed her eyes, waiting for the girls to leave again.  
"Aguamenti." A voice whispered.

Lily sat up right as the jet of water hit her face. "ALICE!" She screamed. Her uniform was sopping wet, along with her hair. "I can't believe you just did that!" Wiping her eyes, Lily glared at the girls before her. Alice was smiling sheepishly, wand still raised. Her cheeks were red and her short, brown hair was mussed. "Sorry Lil', Marlene made me do it."  
"I DID NOT!" Marlene said, though her face was contorted as she attempted to hold in the laughter. _Her _hair was looking rather mussed too, as was her entire uniform by the looks of it.  
"Had a good day I see Marly?" Lily smirked, forgetting for a moment she was angry with them. "A good date, I should really say."  
"What?" Hestia shouted, turning to the now flushing blonde. "A date with who?"  
Marlene bit her lip. "How'd you find out Lily?"  
Lily looked away. "Potter told me."  
"Ooooh Potter told you, did he?" Hestia giggled. She was a good head and a half taller than the others, and she looked down at Lily, winking.  
"Oh shut up Hestia, don't you want to know where Marlene was all day?" Lily was desperately trying to keep the subject away from her and James.  
"Yeah," Alice said. "Where _were_ you?"  
"Ikindofmaybewenttotheroomofr equirementwithblack." Marlene said in one breath, staring intently at her shoes.  
"Sorry, what was that?" Lily asked sweetly. Marlene grimaced. "Don't make me say if again!"  
Lily, Alice and Hestia stared at Marlene.  
"Uh fine!" She shouted. "I was with Sirius Black okay!"  
They all burst out laughing and Lily ran a hand through her hair, reminding her it was still soaking.  
"Alice, dry me right now." Alice smiled and waved her wand. Lily felt a warm breeze rush over her and found her clothes were nice and dry once more. "Thanks."

"Anyway," Hestia began, "What's this I hear about Lily and James snogging in a broom closet on the seventh floor?"  
"Third, actually." Lily corrected before widening her eyes. "And we weren't snogging!"  
"Really?" Alice asked. "Frank told me a couple of his friends saw you ambush Potter, and drag him in there." She wiggled her eyebrows as Lily turned beetroot.  
"Not what _I _heard," Marlene grinned. "Though, I did get it from Black. Lily, I don't think your pure little ears could handle it." Lily shivered.  
"That bad?" She whimpered.  
"Oh yeah," Marlene nodded. "Like, _very _graphic." Hestia sniggered.  
"Oh merlin…" Lily sighed, returning to her bed. "I am never leaving this room again. I trust you all will bring me food."  
Marlene scoffed. "No way. I cannot wait for you to leave…it's going to be brilliant!" Lily threw a pillow at her.  
"Hestia, Alice, if you are true friends you will just kill me right now." Lily moaned.  
They grinned and shook their heads. "Just great, fan-bloody-tastic."


	3. Blackmail

The next day was Saturday, and Lily still refused to leave the safe confines of her dorm. "Come on Lily!" Alice moaned. "We were all meant to go shopping in Hogsmeade!" Lily crossed her arms and shook her head.  
"I'm not leaving! Just go without me."  
Marlene, who was sitting on her bed with a mirror propped up on her pillow, looked over at Lily. "You can't stay inside forever…class on Monday!"  
She curled a strand of hair around her wand. "You're just prolonging the agony." Lily glared.  
"I'll prolong it for as long as possible thank you." Marlene shrugged and turned back to Hestia, continuing their conversation on what to wear.  
"Alice, you understand, right?" Silence. Lily looked up at her friend. "Right?"  
Alice shifted from foot to foot. "Well Lily, I think, well…maybe people won't care anymore!" Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't be dim, Al. It's _Potter; _he is probably taking great pleasure in spreading more rumours right at this moment."

Lily lay back down on her bed and stared at the pattern of broomsticks on the curtain. She began to count them, figuring it was probably going to be the most interesting thing happening in her life any time soon. 1…2…3…4…5…6-  
"Lily!"  
-7…8…9…10…11- "Lily c'mon!" -12…13…14…15-"LILY!"

She looked up and blinked. The repetitive pattern of broomsticks was imprinted behind her eyes. "What!" She shouted. "Can't you see I've important things to be getting on with?"  
Hestia laughed.  
"You made me lose count!" Lily continued. "Now I have to start over."  
1 broomstick, 2 broomsticks, 3 broomsticks-  
"Lily, get your lazy arse out of bed right now!"  
Lily gritted her teeth and continued; now counting aloud.  
"4 broomsticks, 5 broomsticks, 6 broomsticks, 7 broomsticks…" Her voice was getting louder, in an attempt to drown out her friends' incessant bickering.  
"Lily if you don't shut up right now, I'll stick your 7 broomsticks where the sun doesn't shine." Lily smiled slightly at Marlene, who was staring at her.  
"Fine! What is it?"  
"We've decided you are coming out with us."  
Lily scoffed. "Yeah, and how're you going to-" Her sentence was unfinished, due to the fact that Hestia had just grabbed her by the legs. "Go! Get ready!"  
"No!" Lily shouted, snatching her legs back and pulling them to her chest.  
"Lily if you don't get up right now I'll stun you then when you wake up you'll be in the Hog's Head…and don't think we'd be so nice as to change your disgustingly babyish pyjamas." Lily glanced down at her attire and gulped; a faded yellow onesie with rainbows on it, topped with slippers with bunny's heads on them. "You wouldn't." She whispered.  
"Oh, we would." Marlene said happily, raising her wand.  
"I'm not bloody moving, this is blackmail!" Lily said, crossing her arms.  
"Stup-"  
"FINE!" Lily yelled, jumping off her bed. "I'M FREAKING GOING!" She stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door as hard as possible.  
"Yay!" Lily heard Alice say.  
"Oh this is gonna be good." Marlene said, and Lily just knew from her voice that she was smirking.  
"I HATE EVERYONE!"  
The girls laughed.

The next day was Saturday, and Lily still refused to leave the safe confines of her dorm. "Come on Lily!" Alice moaned. "We were all meant to go shopping in Hogsmeade!" Lily crossed her arms and shook her head.  
"I'm not leaving! Just go without me."  
Marlene, who was sitting on her bed with a mirror propped up on her pillow, looked over at Lily. "You can't stay inside forever…class on Monday!"  
She curled a strand of hair around her wand. "You're just prolonging the agony." Lily glared.  
"I'll prolong it for as long as possible thank you." Marlene shrugged and turned back to Hestia, continuing their conversation on what to wear.  
"Alice, you understand, right?" Silence. Lily looked up at her friend. "Right?"  
Alice shifted from foot to foot. "Well Lily, I think, well…maybe people won't care anymore!" Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't be dim, Al. It's _Potter; _he is probably taking great pleasure in spreading more rumours right at this moment."

Lily lay back down on her bed and stared at the pattern of broomsticks on the curtain. She began to count them, figuring it was probably going to be the most interesting thing happening in her life any time soon. 1…2…3…4…5…6-  
"Lily!"  
-7…8…9…10…11- "Lily c'mon!" -12…13…14…15-"LILY!"

She looked up and blinked. The repetitive pattern of broomsticks was imprinted behind her eyes. "What!" She shouted. "Can't you see I've important things to be getting on with?"  
Hestia laughed.  
"You made me lose count!" Lily continued. "Now I have to start over."  
1 broomstick, 2 broomsticks, 3 broomsticks-  
"Lily, get your lazy arse out of bed right now!"  
Lily gritted her teeth and continued; now counting aloud.  
"4 broomsticks, 5 broomsticks, 6 broomsticks, 7 broomsticks…" Her voice was getting louder, in an attempt to drown out her friends' incessant bickering.  
"Lily if you don't shut up right now, I'll stick your 7 broomsticks where the sun doesn't shine." Lily smiled slightly at Marlene, who was staring at her.  
"Fine! What is it?"  
"We've decided you are coming out with us."  
Lily scoffed. "Yeah, and how're you going to-" Her sentence was unfinished, due to the fact that Hestia had just grabbed her by the legs. "Go! Get ready!"  
"No!" Lily shouted, snatching her legs back and pulling them to her chest.  
"Lily if you don't get up right now I'll stun you then when you wake up you'll be in the Hog's Head…and don't think we'd be so nice as to change your disgustingly babyish pyjamas." Lily glanced down at her attire and gulped; a faded yellow onesie with rainbows on it, topped with slippers with bunny's heads on them. "You wouldn't." She whispered.  
"Oh, we would." Marlene said happily, raising her wand.  
"I'm not bloody moving, this is blackmail!" Lily said, crossing her arms.  
"Stup-"  
"FINE!" Lily yelled, jumping off her bed. "I'M FREAKING GOING!" She stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door as hard as possible.  
"Yay!" Lily heard Alice say.  
"Oh this is gonna be good." Marlene said, and Lily just knew from her voice that she was smirking.  
"I HATE EVERYONE!"  
The girls laughed.

This wasn't good. Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror. Potter and the other twats would no doubt be in Hogsmeade, he would most likely even have the nerve to _talk _to her, in public! What would people say then? 'Oooh did you see Potter and Evans on their date in the Three Broomsticks? How adorable!' Lily thought she might throw up.  
Another thing made her feel even worse- Severus. What would he say? Surely he wouldn't believe all the ridiculous tales going around…would he? Lily brought a hand up to her face and rubbed her forehead. After their row yesterday, she wasn't so sure. She'd have to try and find him and explain.  
Not caring enough to actually bother to look nice, Lily scraped her hair back into a ponytail and splashed hot water over her face.

Aware of the fact that she needed clothes, Lily walked back into her dorm. Hestia, Alice and Marlene all stopped talking at once- very subtle. "Yeah, I know you were talking about me, so just continue." Lily grabbed a pair of jeans and a jumper. "Don't mind me."  
Hestia sucked in a breath.  
"What?" Lily asked.  
"You're...you're not wearing _those_ are you?"  
Lily looked down at the trousers; there was a rip across one knee.  
"Yeah, so what?"  
"Well, if you wanted to impress James-"  
Lily stopped her there. "I do not want to impress Potter!" She gripped the clothing tighter.  
"It's okay," Marlene said. "I'm certain Potter would love her if she was wearing a bin bag." Lily blushed and turned around.  
"Oh shut up Marlene."

Once dressed, Lily walked down the stairs, as slowly as possible.  
"Faster Lily!" Alice giggled.  
Lily moaned, but when they reached the bottom, they found the common room deserted, except for a couple of first years playing exploding snap by the fire. "Everyone must already be in the village!" She breathed a sigh of relief. It was okay…for now.

Lily walked a few steps behind the girls, dragging her feet and mumbling under her breath as they continued through the castle.  
The entrance hall was also empty, though Lily could see groups of students walking down the path. The sun was shining, but it was cold as she stepped outside. She wished she'd worn a coat, or better yet, wished she could be sitting nice and cosy in the dorm. Instead, she was walking towards her impending doom.  
"I still hate you all." Lily said as Marlene laughed.  
"We know, Lil'" Said Hestia, grinning widely.

Everything seemed to be okay as they arrived in Hogsmeade. A couple of students had pointed, but none seemed to have the nerve to actually talk to her. Perhaps the twitching eye and clenched fists had put them off. "I'm freezing!" Alice whined. "Let's get a butterbeer in the pub." The others nodded and they walked to the door.  
Lily pushed it open and nearly screamed.  
James Potter was standing, right on the other side, grinning.  
"Well hello there my red-headed girlfriend." He winked as those nearest sucked in breaths. Lily closed her eyes for a moment.  
Time to face the music…


	4. Left with the enemy

"Lily my darling! My flower! My cherry red teddy bear! My-"  
"Let me stop you _right there_ James Potter." Lily held a shaking hand up.  
She was about to completely lose it when Sirius Black appeared beside James.  
"I'll have to agree with Evans mate, you were one bad compliment away from completely annihilating any type of reputation you've managed to build up in these few short years."  
Sirius looked at Lily and smirked.  
"So Lilyflower, I've heard a few stories about you lately!" Lily glared at him. "Black, Marlene is behind me, care to piss off with her?" Sirius grinned.  
"Oh, touchy I see…Prongs you have your work cut out for you with this one!"  
James rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, leave."  
Sirius breathed in dramatically and stuck his lower lip out. "Everyone is so mean to me!"

Remus walked up to the group, a half empty bottle of butterbeer in his hand. "Who is Sirius annoying now?" He looked over at Lily, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry about him. He gets nervous in front of new people." James snorted.  
"I'm not a dog!" Sirius said, though he looked over at James and winked. They burst out laughing.  
The girls shared confused looks and Lily shrugged.

"I'm off to find Frank." Alice said.  
Lily spun around. "What happened to spending the day together?"  
Hestia bit her lip. "Yeah, I'm going to go try and talk to Amos."  
"What the hell!"  
"Come on, Lil. Today is my big chance to impress him! You know how long I've liked him for."  
Lily sighed.  
"And you, Alice?"  
"Frank asked me at breakfast. He said he's found a plant on the outskirts of the village that might be a new breed!" Her eyes were twinkling. "You know how I am with Herbology, I couldn't pass this opportunity up!"  
Lily raised an eyebrow, not understanding her friend's obsession with plants.  
"Whatever, just go. See you back at school." They looked surprised but walked off speedily. Alice looked back, as if checking to see if Lily was going to hex them when their backs were turned. "I'm not _that _bad, am I?" She said quietly to herself.

Lily put her hands into her jean pockets and turned back around. Marlene had left without a word, following Sirius to a booth in the back. Remus and James faced her, looking awkward. "Well," Remus said. "I have to, er, go. Peter is waiting for me outside Zonko's." Lily's eyes widened. "Bye James, Lily!"  
Remus walked off in the opposite direction that Hestia and Alice had walked to.  
"Evans, just you and me then!" James grinned, messing his hair. Lily dug her nails into the back of her hands. "Potter…I'm not going anywhere with you!"  
"C'mon Evans, I'm not that bad!" He grabbed her hand and Lily yelped, jerking back as if she'd been burned.  
"Touch me again Potter…" Lily whispered.  
James raised his eyebrows. "Merlin, fine then…just, come over here. Sit down. We should talk."

Glancing around at the staring crowds, Lily had no choice but to follow him to a table a little bit away from Marlene and Sirius. She looked over, trying to get a look at them, but their table was shadowed over. She could see nothing.  
Lily sat down.  
"Butterbeer?" James offered, holding a bottle out. It seemed he'd planned this. Lily took it, but set it down on the table. James took a long drink from his before finally looking at her. "Look at us Evans, finally on a date!"  
Lily stiffened. "This is not a bloody date, Potter!" He shrugged.  
"Sure, sure. Anyways…how're you?"  
Lily screwed her eyes up. What was his game? He couldn't actually be being nice. "Crappy." Lily smiled coldly. "And yourself?"  
"Spiffing actually." He smirked. "I'm with you!"

Lily groaned and looked across the pub. At least 10 sets of eyes quickly looked away. At least 15 stared right back at her. She raised a rude hand gesture and returned to James, who was staring at her in admiration.  
"Evans! I'd never thought you'd result to such vulgar behaviour!"  
Lily breathed out and looked down. "You are so weird Potter."  
James saluted to her. "Just doing my job."  
"And immature."  
He smirked.  
"Arrogant."  
James turned his head sideways.  
"Rude."  
He nodded slowly.  
"Aggravating!"  
The smirk returned.  
"Why thank you Evans, I don't think I've ever been complimented so much in all my life…you spoil me!"  
He took another drink and gestured to her untouched one. "Drink up, love."

Lily shook her head but the steaming bottle did look tempting…she placed her hands on the rim and looked up at him. He propped up his head with his hands on the table, staring intently at her. Lily was beginning to feel uncomfortable so she raised the bottle to her lips and gulped. Warmth spread through her, and she took another drink, half draining it. It wasn't like it was alcoholic or anything.  
"Potter, why am I here?" Lily asked.  
James pushed his glasses back up to his eyes. "I just want to get to know you Lily."  
"Watch it. We are so not on a first name basis. See that would mean we were friends, and that is never going to happen."  
James grinned once more. "Okay…_Evans." _He exaggerated her surname, annoying Lily even more. She took another drink to calm her down.  
"OWLS coming up then," James said, trying to make casual conversation. "Studied much?" Lily scoffed.  
"I'm Lily Evans. What do you think?"  
He placed a hand on the table.  
"Okay, stupid question."  
"Of course it was, it came from your mouth." Lily joked. She found herself actually smiling properly at him. Right, what was happening to her?

Lily wasn't sure how much time passed, but soon her and James were having a friendly conversation, laughing and everything.  
"Potter, I don't get you!" Lily grinned as James drained his glass. "I mean; you're an arse! A huge one!" She giggled. "I bloody hate you!"  
James chortled.  
"Why do I like you Evans? You're so horrid to me." Lily nodded.  
"Yes!"  
She looked up at him. He was smiling genuinely at her, playing with his empty bottle.

"Well," She hesitated. "Maybe we could be…friends?"  
James's grin spread all over his face. "I'd like that Lil-"  
"Having fun?" A cold, high voice uttered.  
Lily looked over. The smile died on her face.  
"I see how it is." Severus said.  
"No, Sev!" Lily stood up, knocking the remaining butterbeer over the table. "It's not what it looks like!" James had also stood up, looking furious.  
"Leave Snivellus." Lily rebounded on him.  
"Potter!" She turned back to Severus.  
"Sev, please…listen to me!" But the smaller boy had already turned around, walking away.  
Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. She turned back to James.  
"You!" She shouted. "This is your fault!"  
James shrugged. "He's nothing, Lily."  
"And what are you?" Lily said, furious. "The bloody king of Hogwarts I suppose, James Potter; because everyone adores _you!" _  
The pub had gone silent again. Sirius was poking his head out from his booth, looking worried.  
"You can forget what I said about us being friends!" Lily felt dizzy, like she could throw up. "Leave me the hell alone!"  
Lily looked around at the shocked faces and ran.


	5. Tricked

Lily had to stop herself from running to the common room. She was furious. She wanted to throw something. Smash things. Rip James Potter's hair out and give him a good kick in his 'special' place.  
"Password, deary?" The overly cheerful portrait asked her.  
"Gobstones." Lily said drearily.  
"What was that?"  
She looked up. "Gobstones. That's the password!"  
The fat lady shook her head sweetly. "I'm afraid it changed,"  
"Since when!" Lily shouted.  
The fat lady looked away, then back. "Around 10 minutes ago if I'm correct."  
Lily glared at the painting. "You've _got _to be joking."  
"No, sorry! You'll have to find a fellow Gryffindor."  
Lily moaned and kicked the wall beside the entrance with her foot.  
"Careful!" The surrounding paintings said. "You nearly put a hole through my canvas!"  
"Sorry!" Lily said sarcastically. "I'll just be leaving then."  
She turned to walk away when a group rounded the corner.  
"Oh bloody hell." Lily sighed.  
James freaking Potter and his arsehole friends were approaching, laughing.

"Lily!" James smiled as he noticed her. "I wondered where you'd got to!"  
She gritted her teeth together. Seriously? Was he really pretending nothing had happened? Or was he just too stupid to realise. Lily twisted her head slightly; probably the latter.  
"Don't even, Potter."  
He frowned. "What?"  
"Oh, you don't even know?"  
Sirius stepped forward. "Evans, what's wrong now?"  
"Shut your mouth Black or I'll stuff it with Pettigrew's dirty underwear."  
Peter jumped at the sound of his name as Sirius yelped.  
"Merlin, not even Snivelly deserves that torture." He paused.  
"Well, couldn't hurt to try. Moony; write that down!"  
Remus looked over at Sirius.  
"You do realise, that when you ask me to write something down for you…I don't _actually _do it. I'm not your scribe!"  
"Moooooonyyyyy!" Sirius groaned. "You haven't been writing what I'm saying? What about all those girls I thought were hot?"  
Remus rolled his eyes. "You'll just have to work it out for yourself."  
Sirius huffed. "We'll talk about this later."  
"Yeah sure Padfoot. Anyway Lily, what is wrong?"

Lily, who wasn't used to Sirius Black's clear insanity took a moment to register she'd been spoken to. "What? Oh yeah, this complete arse," She pointed to James. "Spiked my drink earlier." She smiled. "And please don't stop me when I murder him."  
Lily stepped forward right as James took two steps back, looking scared.  
"I did not spike your drink!"  
"You did! Madam Pomfrey told me I was drunk! How embarrassing do you think that was? I'm a bloody prefect, Potter. I have to set an example for the first years!"  
Sirius sniggered. "That is embarrassing Evans, but to tell you the truth, it was kind of stupid to go to the hospital wing when you were drunk."  
Lily glared. "I didn't know I was drunk! I've never had the experience before."  
"Wow, you must be a lightweight Evans; there was probably about one shot of Firewhiskey in that Butterbeer and you were totally out of it!"  
"I can accio Pettigrew's underwear right now Black, if you really want me to."  
"No, no Lily darling. There won't be any need for that…" He had stepped back to beside James, seeming to think he was safer there.

Remus was trying to prevent a fight.  
"Lily, can we talk about this rationally? James, did you spike her drink?"  
James shook his head. "No!"  
"Good." He looked at Sirius. "So, why'd you spike Lily's drink?"  
Sirius inhaled dramatically. "I am offended! I did not spike her drink!"  
Remus turned to Lily. "Yeah, it was probably Sirius."  
"It wasn't! I'm innocent!"  
Lily nodded, ignoring Sirius. "Well, if it definitely wasn't James, Sirius would be my next guess and-"  
"IT WASN'T ME!" Sirius screeched.  
"Who was it then?" Lily shouted.

Peter stepped forward, looking extremely guilty. "Er…James? It w-was me."  
James turned to the smaller boy. "Pete, you don't have to cover for Sirius."  
He shook his head. "No…it was me. Prongs I'm so sorry!"  
James looked at Lily, then Sirius and finally to Remus.  
Remus shrugged.  
"What the hell Peter!" James said, moving towards him. Peter turned beetroot.  
"I-I'm sorry! I thought it was a good idea!"  
"Well it wasn't!"  
"Sorry James, please don't make me leave the marauders!"  
Peter begged. Lily reckoned Peter would even get on his knees if James asked him to.  
"Don't talk to me right now Wormtail," James said. "I really don't want to break your nose…but I might not be able to help it if you piss me off anymore." Peter nodded rapidly, before swiftly turning and running down the corridor.

"Merlin, James." Remus said, watching the chubbier boy turn the corner. "He won't dare talk to us for a month now! You know what he's like!"  
James didn't look as if he cared that much. He had already turned back around to Lily.  
"Lil's, I'm sorry about him but it wasn't my fault."  
Lily clenched her fists. "Oh no, it could never be your fault! James Potter can do no wrong!" Her voice was raising and Sirius walked over to Remus.  
"Should we, leave?" Remus liked that idea. He grabbed the other boy's arm and they both disappeared through the portrait. Not that James and Lily noticed; they were both now yelling at each other.  
"You need to give me a break, Evans!"  
"I'll break your arm! How's that?"  
"See! There you go again! Stop treating me like a child!"  
"You _are_ a child, Potter!"  
"I'm the same age as you!"  
"You have the mental age of a badly behaved toddler."  
"Do not! I get the same grades as you in all exams!"  
"Only because you flirt with all the females and intimidate the male ones!"  
"Rubbish Evans! I'm smarter than you and you just can't admit it!"  
"Whatever makes you sleep at night Potter!"  
"Why don't you just grow up?"  
"Why don't you just _piss off?" _  
"I live here!"  
"Doesn't mean you have to talk to me!"  
"FINE THEN!" James was breathing heavily and his face was red. "I won't bother you again!"  
He turned and stomped away, leaving Lily even angrier than before.  
She walked back over to the fat lady.  
"Can't let you in madam." She smiled. "I'm afraid you still don't know the password."  
"Oh BLOODY HELL!"

"Stupid, immature prat. Frog-faced arse. Arrogant git." Lily mumbled to herself, massaging her head as she walked to the great hall. Dinner was over by now, but she was hoping that one of her friends might still be there.  
"Who does he think he is?"  
"Who does who think he is?" A voice said from behind her. Lily jumped. She knew that voice…crap.  
"Hi Melinda." Lily said slowly.  
"Alright Lily?" The blonde girl was looking at Lily hungrily, craving for more gossip.  
"Yeah, fine." Lily said, faking a smile. "And you?"  
The older girl pouted. "Well, to be honest, not good. A couple of people told me today that Marlene McKinnon and Hestia Jones said they hated me. It's really upset me."  
Oh dear.  
Lily bit her lip. "Oh, don't be ridiculous! They don't hate you. In fact, Marlene told me just the other day how…how _nice _and _funny _she thought you were!"  
What utter hippogiff dung. Marlene had said something, but it wasn't exactly anything Lily wanted to repeat.

Melinda looked up. "Oh really Lily?" She looked almost tearful. What was up with that? Lily nodded and Melinda leaned closer.  
"I don't know if you'd realised this, but I'm actually very insecure. I mean, people always seem so hostile to me and I don't even know why."  
She frowned. Lily, unsure what exactly to say, nodded again.  
"Enough about me Lily…how are you and James?"  
Warning signals flew up in front of her eyes. She had to be careful.  
"I, uh…I think he's okay."  
Melinda grinned. "Awesome. But how about James _and you?"_  
"Er…well, I wouldn't want to…say anything…um, without Potter-I mean James's permission…" Lily wished she could just Avada Kedavra herself right there.  
"It…I mean…um…" She trailed off, not being able to think of anything else.  
Melinda stared at her. "So, James doesn't like you talking independently?"  
"N-no…he…I…we…er…"  
"Is James good to you, Lily? He doesn't hurt you, right?"  
Lily could of laughed. "What-oh, no..um…listen Melinda…I've really got to go now."  
Melinda nodded, looking too excited for Lily's liking.  
"Nice talking to you, Lily!"

Lily reckoned that, if she walked fast enough, she could get to and _jump off _the astronomy tower before anyone noticed.  
Or maybe she could take a memory loss potion so she could forget the last 48 hours.  
No good, Lily thought. Other people would still remember.  
Maybe she could pay the house elves to put some potion in the whole school's pumpkin juice. She tilted her head, considering.  
It wouldn't work either; that would take a hell of a lot of potion.

She continued to the great hall and on arrival, could of danced; Alice was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Frank. She began to walk forward before pausing; they looked pretty comfy…did she really want to disturb them?  
Deciding that Alice could have a billion more moments with Frank and her needs were more important, Lily resumed walking.  
As she got nearer, she heard their conversation and it almost made her want to throw up.  
"Oh Frank," Alice said in a weird voice. "The way you tackled that plant today, it was amazing! You saved me!"  
"It's okay honey-boo, I'll always save you."  
Alice blushed and leaned in to kiss Frank. They got closer and closer, unfortunately for them, so did Lily. She had arrived beside them.  
She cleared her throat loudly and Frank jumped up. "Whoa, um, Lily!" He said in a high-pitched voice. He coughed.  
"Didn't see you there." Lily fiddled with her wand in her hand, avoiding Alice's death glare.  
"I was wondering if I could talk to Alice for a moment?"  
Frank frowned.  
"Yeah…Yeah of course, sure." He looked at Alice and kissed her cheek before walking off.

Lily took Frank's place and looked at Alice. She was still glaring.  
"Lily! I can't believe you just did that!"  
Lily pulled her ponytail tighter. "Sorry Al, we really need to talk!"  
Alice folded her arms. "Fine," She sighed. "What is it?"  
"What's the new password?"  
Alice screwed her eyes up. "_That's it?!"_  
Lily nodded. "Could you tell me?"  
"Absolutely not!"  
"What? Why!" Lily raised her eyebrows.  
"_I'm _going to find Frank," Alice got up. "And explain to him what an arse you are."  
"Come on Alice!" Lily pleaded. "Just tell me!"  
"NO!" Alice shot Lily a look before running out of the hall.

Lily looked around. There were no others from her house at the table; no one she could ask.  
She put her head against the cold, wood table.  
All she wanted was to go to bed. Was that _really_ too much to ask?


	6. An accident in Potions

"Miss Evans?"  
Lily looked up from doodling on her parchment. "Sorry Professor?"  
Professor McGonagall was looking down at her, glasses perched right on the edge of her nose. "I asked you a question, Miss Evans, care to answer?"  
Lily bit her lip. "Er…"  
She admitted she hadn't been listening to a word the stern professor had been saying, having been otherwise preoccupied with drawing various labelled diagrams of torture devices; _all _involving James Potter.  
She quickly covered them with her hands.  
Lily looked up at the teacher, blinking fast. After she'd finally gotten to bed on Saturday night, she'd been unable to sleep. On Sunday she had refused to leave the dorm and Marlene, Alice and Hestia seemed to know not to bother her this time. Still, she'd been unable to sleep all night. James Potter kept popping into her mind, carefully chipping away at her sanity. She could feel it.

"Could you repeat the question?"  
"Certainly." McGonagall said, pacing back up to the blackboard. "Tell me, if a person so wished, how would they become an animagus?"  
Lily breathed out; she knew this one.  
"They would go to the ministry and apply-"  
"Wrong."  
A voice from the back interrupted. Lily turned around to see who thought they were smarter than her and found, of course, James Potter smiling back at her.  
McGonagall looked at James, quite expressionless.  
"And why, Potter, do you disagree with Miss Evans?"  
"You didn't ask how to become a _registered _animagus…I mean, isn't it possible to become one under the ministry's nose? By learning the right spells and brewing the correct potions of course."  
The teacher smiled slightly. "And how would you know that Potter?"  
James shrugged. "Something Remus told me once." He looked over at the other boy and, ever so slightly, winked. Lily was sure she was the only person who had noticed.  
Professor McGonagall had turned back to the rest of the class. "Correct, Potter." Lily gasped. "But professor!" She stuttered. "Surely, I mean…the proper way would be to-"  
"Yes thank you Miss Evans, I'm sure you have the perfect instructions memorized from your textbook, but alas, I was testing you."

"Mr Potter here," She gestured to James. "Was thinking outside of the box! Just the criteria needed to perhaps become an auror after his education is completed." Lily's mouth fell open.  
McGonagall clapped her hands together. "Now, shall we continue?"

Lily refused to turn around for the rest of the class, because she knew he would be there, smirking. _No one _got a compliment from Professor McGonagall…it was completely unheard of.  
When it was time to leave, Lily speedily grabbed her books and left before anyone else had packed away. She was about to turn the corner when- "Hey! Hey Evans!"  
Lily swore under her breath. Again? Really?  
"What Potter?" She said irritably, not turning around or stopping.  
"Sorry about that!"  
Lily halted and turned around. "Sorry for _what_?"  
"Y'know, answering that question?" He rubbed his neck.  
"Don't be Potter, it was a decent answer; clearly better than mine. McGonagall seemed to think so anyway."  
James seemed flabbergasted at her lack of care. Where was the shouting? The threats? The fight? Even Lily was shocked.  
"Anything else?"  
James slowly shook his head, screwing his eyes up in confusing.  
"Right." Lily nodded. "Good." She turned and continued walking to potions.

Alice and Hestia were talking rapidly about how Amos Diggory had spoken to Hestia in Hogsmeade and, if he hadn't of been with some other girl, would of totally asked her out. Marlene was walking back with Sirius.  
So once again, Lily was alone.  
Potions was the only class Gryffindor had with the Slytherins, and she had hoped to have a chat with Severus, to clear the air.  
No such luck.  
At the beginning of class, he had sat at the front with Avery and Mulciber, leaving Lily by herself at their usual spot together.  
Now, as she stared at the back of his neck, she wondered if they would ever be friends again. They _had _been drifting apart, but she had singlehandedly destroyed any hope of a future with Severus. Well, she thought grimly. Not all singlehandedly; James had certainly done his best to insure they wouldn't talk anymore.

Lily returned her thoughts to the brewing potion in front of her. It had turned a deep purple, and the textbook stated that she needed to stir 16 times clockwise before adding a teaspoonful of powdered mouse droppings. Then it should turn a burnt orange colour.  
Lily followed the instructions word for word, yet once she was finished, her potion was the same colour as a vomit Bertie Bott bean; a sickly orange with little streaks of red. She hadn't done anything wrong as far as she could remember, but perhaps her potion hadn't turned out right because she didn't have Severus's guidance. He had almost always instructed her against the textbook's wishes, and her potions were usually perfect.

Not today.  
Professor Slughorn looked into her cauldron happily.  
"Not your best Lily, something on your mind dear?"  
Looking over at Severus and then back, Lily shook her head.  
"No professor."  
He grinned again. "Well, no matter. Your potion is still magnificent."  
She wanted to roll her eyes as the robust man continued to the next table. She knew it certainly wasn't magnificent. Lily looked over at Severus again, only to find him staring at her.  
Their eyes connected and Lily was about to mouth something to him when a large explosion caused her to look behind.

Cackling laughter erupted from James and Sirius' mouth.  
Peter was very nearly unrecognisable beneath a thick layer of magenta coloured goo, which seemed to be fizzling slightly.  
The two laughing boys high-fived and in between breaths, James managed to utter a sentence.  
"Brilliant Padfoot!" He looked over at Remus, who was staring disapprovingly. "Slipped a whole bag of fizzing wizbee's in there when Wormtail wasn't looking."  
Remus's mouth quirked a little but he turned around again.  
"Ah boys!" Slughorn boomed. "I love a good prank, I have to admit. Though I'm afraid you'll have to stay behind to clear this mess up."  
Sirius nodded.

"Anton, is it?" Professor Slughorn said, pointing to Peter.  
James and Sirius burst out laughing again.  
"That's the one sir!"  
Sirius nudged Peter's shoulder. "Alright Anton?"  
Peter didn't reply, he seemed to be battling his lips, which were glued together.  
Slughorn frowned. "Lupin? Take Anton here to the hospital wing please. Explain his…dilemma."  
Remus nodded and got up.  
Peter meanwhile, had failed to wrench his mouth open.  
He stood abruptly.  
The whole class began laughing and gasping for air. Even Lily let out a snigger.

His bottom, drenched in the failed potion, had burned a hole right through the chair.


	7. Just plain awkward

Poor Peter had been rushed to the Hospital Wing, having to be lifted by James and Sirius so he didn't burn any more holes in anything.  
As she walked to dinner with the girls, Lily became more and more agitated with them. Sure, the prank had been hilarious at the time, but she seemed to be the only one thinking of the small boy's lasting well fare.  
"Did you see Pettigrew's face?" Hestia spluttered.  
"Priceless." Marlene agreed.  
"Another phobia to add to his list; any type of fizzing sweets." Alice grinned.  
Lily glared at her but said nothing.  
"What's got your wand in a twist?" Marlene asked. "You hate Pettigrew!"  
Lily shrugged.  
"I know, but no one actually seems to care if he's okay!"  
Hestia looked at her like she was a grindylow who'd just told her it'd taken up tap dance.  
"What!" Lily said. "He may be seriously injured!"  
Marlene scoffed. "He's a little rat, Lily. Honestly, he's disgusting!"  
Alice nodded in agreement.  
Lily sighed. "Have you ever spoken to him? He might actually be nice!"  
"Yeah okay Lily, I'll take your word for It."  
"I might go and see him…"  
"What? Why the bloody hell would you do that?"  
Lily shook her head. "You three really can be horrid. The boy's hurt and I'm going to check on him!"  
Hestia sniggered but Marlene seemed to be trying to find something to say.  
"Fine!" She settled for. "Go see rat boy, _I _am going to eat my body weight in Shepherds pie."  
Lily rolled her eyes and turned around, muttering her goodbyes and making her way to the hospital wing.

As she approached the doors though, she debated turning around again. She'd never actually spoken to Peter before, and the little she did know about him didn't give her much courage.  
Deciding that she couldn't go back to her smug friends without saying she'd been to see him, Lily pushed open the doors.

The wing was deserted; all except for a bored looking Peter sat in a bed right at the end of the room. He was alone, something that shocked Lily. Surely Remus at least would stay with his friend? Apparently not.

Peter looked up as Lily walked in.  
"Madam Pomfrey isn't here." He said gloomily. "No one is…just me."  
Lily nodded, walking over to his bedside. "I know…I wanted to talk to you."  
Peter raised his eyebrows, quite disconcerting seeing as his face was still bloated and bright pink. "M-me? Why?"

At that moment Lily couldn't help but feel immense pity for the boy in front of her. He'd always been shunned; part of the most popular group in school yet no one actually knew his name. Everyone questioned why James, Sirius and Remus even bothered with him.  
He didn't exactly fit in with Sirius' brooding looks and James' tall, quidditch toned physique. He wasn't a brainiac like Remus. He was just Peter.  
Peter, who had never quite lost the 'puppy fat'; Peter who was afraid to talk to girls and had never even dreamed of kissing one.

"After what happened in class, I wondered if you were okay." Lily said, smiling gently.  
"Y-yeah, I'm f-fine." He kept stuttering his words. Lily pulled a chair over to his bed and sat.  
"Where are the others?"  
Peter shrugged. "Dinner, I suppose…then down to the Quidditch pitch for practise."  
Lily frowned. "They didn't stay with you?"  
"Why would they?"  
"Well, they are your best friends; aren't they worried?"  
Peter looked confused. "N-no?"  
Lily sighed. This boy clearly wasn't a wonder with words, nor did he seem to have the social skills to keep up a conversation. Therefore, an awkward silence kicked in.

Peter stared out the window, and Lily looked at the jars on the shelf beside his bed.  
She was searching in her mind for something to say.  
"Bet you won't be eating Fizzing Wizzbee's anytime soon, eh?" Lily said, trying to break the tension.  
Peter yelped.  
Lily took that as a no.

She didn't want to seem rude, but this clearly wasn't going anywhere soon.  
"Well Peter…It's been, er, nice talking to you. Want me to tell you friends you'd like to see them?"  
"Nah, that's okay. They wouldn't come anyway."  
Lily nodded slowly.  
"Well, er…see you later?" She got up off the chair. "Get well soon."  
"Thanks Evans." Lily looked at him. He was obviously trying to copy the famous James Potter smirk yet it just looked lopsided and creepy. Lily smiled slightly before turning around and, gratefully, leaving.

"Lily that is the funniest thing you've ever done." Marlene spluttered upon Lily's arrival in the common room.  
"Oh shut up Marlene! I thought he'd like the company…"  
"Tell me, how many words did he manage? Don't tell me he strung an actual sentence together?" Marlene said sarcastically.  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
"…Okay, maybe three sentences? None without vast stuttering and clear social awkwardness."  
Hestia let out a loud laugh. "I don't know why James and Sirius bother with him!" Lily smiled sadly. In truth, she didn't know either.

Later, when she was in bed and Alice was snoring her head off like usual, Lily pondered the question deeply. Did the marauders just keep him around for a laugh? Or did they not want anyone better than them to be outshined? She could of thought of a lot more reasons…but that didn't happen because she fell into a dreamless sleep. The first, since the catastrophe in the broom closet.


	8. The Hogwarts Express

**AN:/Hey there! Bit of a time lapse here, it's the end of fifth year! Enjoy:D**

Lily looked around at her clean dorm, smiling sadly. She was sad to be leaving Hogwarts once again, but she was also looking forward to seeing her parents again.  
Petunia? Not so much.  
From the letters from her mum, Lily got the impression that Petunia was dating a walrus.  
Vernon Dursley…Merlin, even his name sounded boring.

The Christmas and Birthday presents Lily had sent her older sister had been sent back, unopened. Her countless letters were also returned, still sealed.  
She hated not being able to talk to Petunia, they didn't have a normal sister relationship. Though, Lily thought, could anything in her life really be considered normal?  
The past few months had been eventful to say the least.  
The fifth years OWL's had been horrible as expected, but it wasn't those that had been hanging in her mind for weeks now.

"_I don't need help from a filthy mudblood like her!" _

Severus Snape's harsh words played through her mind, seemingly stuck on repeat. At the time Lily had been so angry, so embarrassed, so _betrayed_, that she was unable to hold a quill for a week, without it bursting in her hands.  
Now, after a month had passed, the feeling of regret had begun to sink in.

James Potter was avoiding her. At least, that's what she reckoned. He hadn't spoken one word to her since that fateful day by the lake where she had told him he was just as bad as Snape. Perhaps that had been slightly harsh, _he _hadn't called her a mudblood, had he?  
He was still James Potter though, arrogant, mean and a bully.  
Lily wasn't too beaten up by his reluctance to talk to her. The rumours had finally died down, seeing as they clearly weren't talking. She was carefully trying to sink back into the shadows; get on with her schoolwork and her prefect duties.

"Lily, you coming?" Alice stood in the doorway, wearing jeans and a jumper. "The train leaves soon." Lily grinned and walked to the door, hauling her trunk behind her.

Later, Lily was sat in a compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express. Hestia and Alice were engrossed in a heated game of exploding snap. Marlene had left some time before, saying she needed the bathroom but they all knew she was really going to see Sirius for some last minute 'bonding time'.  
Lily was sat re-reading a book she'd finished at the start of fifth year.  
She soon realised that her eyes had not moved away from the same sentence for some time. Her head was elsewhere, wrapped up in thoughts of the small, dark haired boy who lived down the road from her, and how much more boring her summer would be without their regular, cherished days at the old park around the corner.  
"Earth to Lily?" Hestia giggled.  
Lily looked up, startled. It appeared her friends had finished their game. Alice, the loser, had singed off a whole eyebrow. She was staring moodily at Hestia.  
"Fix it, now! I don't know the right spell and if we get to King's Cross we won't be able to use magic! It'll have to grow back naturally!"  
Hestia smirked. "Can't Al! My wands in the bottom of my trunk."  
Alice groaned. "Lily?"  
Lily grinned. "Same with me."  
Alice put her head in her hands and let out a loud wail.

"What the bloody hell was that?"  
Frank Longbottom had opened the door.  
Alice looked up, turned a suitable colour of red, and shoved her face into her knees.  
Hestia laughed and then stood up, moving to the door of the compartment.  
"Do you mind, Lily?" Hestia asked. "I'll be back before the train comes in. I'm going to find Amos." She giggled.  
"No not at all. Have fun." Lily smiled.  
Hestia left and Lily turned to see Frank sitting beside Alice. He had his arm slung over her shoulders and was whispering into her ear.  
Feeling horribly like she was intruding, Lily decided to leave.  
"Bye guys." She said walking out. Alice and Frank didn't even acknowledge her.

Why did _all _of her friends have bloody boyfriends and she didn't? Why didn't she have someone to kiss goodbye, with promises of letters everyday?  
She herself had had her first kiss, but it was not something she liked to talk about.

It had been this time two years ago, on this exact day in fact. For some unknown reason, Lily had found herself stuck in a cramped compartment with Alice, Hestia, Marlene, Remus, Peter, Sirius and James.

Lily herself, a geeky, shy thirteen year old had been trying to read whilst pressed between Sirius and James. Things had begun to go wrong of course, when Sirius suggested they play spin the bottle. The three anxious girls had excitedly agreed, hoping very much to get their first kisses off the four most popular boys in school. Lily though, had different views; the very thought secretly repulsed her.  
Peer pressure made her do it.

After Remus and Hestia had kissed, sloppily at that, Lily was persuaded to join in.  
So, she spun the bottle, praying that it would land on anyone but James. It had spun for an age, finally stopping at…

Sirius Black.

She remembered looking up, terror shining in her eyes, as the attractive boy leaned closer and closer to her red-cheeked face.  
She just had time to see James' face-looking horrified-before Sirius blocked him with his head.  
She had done nothing as Sirius kissed her, waiting for it to be over…counting the seconds until she could return to her novel. When he leaned back, Lily had returned to her book and refused to look at anyone for the rest of the journey.

Now, at the age of 15, the memory made her cringe unbelievably. At least Sirius had refrained from talking about it. In fact, it seemed the marauders had gone to great lengths to keep it a secret; as far as she knew, the only people who knew were the ones who had witnessed it.  
Lily continued to walk down the narrow hallway, occasionally looking into the windows at people laughing with their friends. She saw James, lounging across the seat. He was sleeping with his head across the window. The other boys were sat on the other side, laughing at the crude doodles drawn across the sleeping boys forehead. Lily smiled before walking on.

She had almost reached the top of the train, when a door opened rather suddenly. Lily groaned. The person she'd been so carefully avoiding had stepped out; Severus.  
His eyes lit up when he saw her. "Lily I-"  
"Save it, Snape." Lily sighed.  
She made to walk on, when the same door opened once more.  
"Mudblood! What do you think your doing at our end of the train?"  
Lily gulped.  
Avery and Mulciber stood before her, with sick grins across their faces.  
She reached into her back pocket, only to remember it was packed away.  
Seeing her come up empty handed, Avery raised his wand.


	9. A deep conversation

**AN:/Hi guys, it's been a couple of days, that's because I was hesitant to put this chapter up. I'm not very happy with it to be honest but I wanted to put a new one up...so here we go! Thank you x**

Lily looked anxiously behind her shoulder. Everyone was inside his or her compartments.  
"No one here to save you now, mudblood." Mulciber taunted. Lily looked over his shoulder at Severus. He was wide-eyed and even paler than usual.  
The smaller boy waited a moment, eyes locked onto hers, before retreating back into the compartment. He pulled the blind down.  
Lily felt a surge of anger fire through her. Did he honestly not care one tiny bit?  
"We're not at Kings Cross yet." Lily said, trying to make her voice sound confident. "I can still give you detentions."  
Avery scoffed.  
"Oh no, the mudblood thinks she actually has authority over us! Let's teach her a lesson, shall we?"  
Lily backed away, searching for something behind her to use as a weapon. Nothing.  
"Filth like you shouldn't be allowed to even look us in the eye." Mulciber snarled, edging closer and closer.  
Lily, now extremely panicked, suddenly heard her sister's clipped voice pound in her head.  
_'Remember Lily, if any boys ever try to take of advantage of you…give them a good old kick in the place where it hurts most_, _that should sort them out._'  
Gathering all her strength, Lily thrust her knee up at the first boy. The strike hit home, as Avery stumbled over, yelping in a high-pitched voice.

Lily smirked, but there was still Mulciber to deal with.  
He had stepped over his crying friend, a look of fury crossing his eyes.  
"Oh you'll pay for that, muggle."  
Lily was about to punch him across the face, when-  
"Stupefy!"  
Mulciber fell to the floor, right onto Lily's feet.  
"Ow! Sodding hell!" She kicked the heavy boy off her, glaring at the new arrival. Of course, Lily thought, my knight in bloody shining armor.

"I was handling that just fine, _Potter." _  
James shrugged, twirling his wand in his hand.  
"Looked like you needed some help."  
"I did not!"  
Lily pushed a stray hair out of her face, walking closer to the boy.  
"Potter, didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"  
James smiled. "I would of done the same for anyone, Evans."  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, of course you would have."

There was a silence. James lifted his hand to his hair, thought better of it and swung it back down to his side.  
"Actually Evans, I was looking for you."  
Lily raised her eyebrows.  
"I wanted to talk before we leave for summer."  
"Okay…" Lily said, gesturing for him to continue.  
"Um," James suddenly looked quite nervous. He looked around at the glass compartment door opposite. Four or five excited looking third years had their noses practically pressed up against it. "Mind if we go somewhere more discreet?"

Lily sighed. What did this boy _want_?  
"Fine Potter! Merlin you're annoying."  
James chose to ignore this and grabbed her hand.  
He led her towards the repair closet near the very top of the train.  
"I'm not going in there with you!" Lily exclaimed. "It's too small!"  
James opened the door and pushed her inside in front of him, before closing it.  
"Hey!" Lily groaned. "There isn't enough air in here!"  
"This won't take long, I promise."  
She could hear the engine of the Hogwarts Express in her ears as James played with his hands.  
"Potter! What?"  
James looked up. He took a deep breath and Lily noticed he was shaking slightly.  
"You have to promise you'll listen to me. Don't freak out and shout, okay?"  
Lily tugged at the bottom of her jumper. "Yes, fine."  
"Okay…er…you see, well I just, ah…It's-"  
"Spit it out Potter!" Lily snapped.  
"Right, yeah. I know you hate me-"  
"Despise you, more like." Lily muttered.  
"And I know you think I'm an arrogant nutter…but, well, you have to believe me when I say I really like you, Evans!"  
Lily blinked. "What Potter?"

"I like you! All those times I've asked you out over the years…I wasn't just being stupid or doing dares. I seriously fancy the pants off you!" He continued before she could speak. That was all right though; Lily didn't exactly know what to say to that.  
"I know I'm an idiot, and a bully! I'm really immature, but I'm willing to…to change, because, well…_Lily…_the more I stay around you…the more I want you!"

He sighed, apparently finished his speech.  
Lily was blushing, suddenly aware at how close they were. Her knees were touching his legs, and she could feel his heartbeat, uneven and jumpy.  
"Well?" He said frantically. "Don't just stand there!"  
Lily shook her head. She could think of plenty of things to say but her mouth was having trouble working.  
"C'mon, say something!" James' eyes were wide and Lily could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.  
"I…uh…" Lily congratulated herself on that brilliant use of vocabulary. "Um…"

The closet felt smaller than before, or had James moved closer?  
Realizing that Lily didn't have much to say, he hesitantly lifted his hand up to cradle her cheek.  
Lily jumped. His hand was clammy against her face.  
"Potter, what are you-"  
But before she could complete the sentence, James leaned down and touched her cheek with his lips.  
She stiffened, unsure of what to do.  
He slowly moved his lips to hers.  
James' eyes were closed, but Lily's were wide open.

She jumped back. "Oh my merlin…uh…"  
James had turned a commendable color of purple.  
He gasped slightly before turning his back to her.  
After fumbling with the door for a moment, the boy disappeared from the closet.  
Lily stayed there, with her hand stuck over her mouth.

The train lurched to a stop, and Lily was still standing in the closet. What was she going to do? What if she saw him on the platform?  
Lily shivered.  
Deciding that she had to get off the train, she left the cupboard and walked down the empty hall. Most students were already off the train.

After she'd stepped down from the steps, Lily walked to the luggage hold, where crowds of pupils were gathering their things. She saw Alice, tugging her trunk towards her.  
"Lily! Where've you been?"  
"Nowhere!" Lily said too loudly. "I was just walking."  
Alice raised an eyebrow. "For an hour?"  
She nodded rapidly.  
"Well, Hestia and Marlene have already left. They told me to tell you to have a good summer and stuff, y'know."  
"Right." Lily stuttered. "Well. See you later Alice."  
She nodded again before walking on to where her trunk was sitting. She gripped the handle tightly; glad to see that Alice had left.

Once Lily was back onto the normal platform, walking through King's Cross station, she thought she was safe.  
No such luck.  
"Oi, Evans!"  
Lily looked around, biting her lip. Sirius Black was rushing up to her…James trailing half-heartedly behind.  
"What, Black?"  
"You were going to leave without saying goodbye!"  
"Yep."  
Sirius sucked in a breath dramatically.  
"Fine! Goodbye Black!" Lily turned around again, but the persistent boy's hand latched onto her wrist.  
"You didn't say goodbye to Prongs!"  
Lily blushed and looked at James. He was staring at his shoes quite intently, and Lily could tell that he had not informed Sirius on what had happened in the repair closet.  
"…B-bye, P-potter."  
James nodded ever so slightly, still not looking up.  
Sirius was staring between the two. "Have I missed something here?"  
"O-of course n-not!" James exclaimed.  
"Nope!" Lily said, wringing her hands together. "I-I need to go. See you in September."  
She turned and briskly walked away, muttering to herself, so much so that an elderly couple asked if she was okay.  
"No." She had replied. "I really don't think I am."


	10. Meeting the walrus

**AN:/So I wrote this instead of revising for history..Yay for failing _that _exam tomorrow. Enjoy x**

"Did you have a good year?"  
"Oh Lily how was the food…you always tell us how wonderful it is!"  
"How's your little friend, Severus?"  
"Still having problems from that Potter boy?"

Lily rested her head on her arm as her eager parents badgered her for information on her fifth year at Hogwarts.  
She wanted nothing more than to disappear in her bedroom for a week or two, but she could only dream of that being allowed.

Lily's father was a tall, lanky sort of man. He wore glasses which were always perched right on the end of his nose, and they never seemed to dull his flashing emerald eyes, much like his daughter. His hair was thinning at the back, so much so that she could see a patch of flesh there, which definitely hadn't been present when she'd last seen him at Christmas.  
"Yes dad, I had a fun year." Lily said drearily.  
On contrast, her mother was on the shorter side. She had shoulder length hair; the exact shade as Lily's, though her eyes were a clear blue, much like Petunia's.  
Speaking of her sister dearest, Petunia was sitting opposite her, on an armchair. Her posture was perfect; unlike Lily, who was slouched on the sofa with her legs stretched out.  
"Yeah, food was good. Me and Severus, we fell out and I don't want to talk about Potter."

Lily's mum looked at her in concern.  
"Oh, why? You two were always so close!"  
Lily sighed.  
"He called me something really horrid. You wouldn't understand, but it is such an insult."  
Mr Evans stared at her, looking angry. "What did he say?"  
Lily smiled slightly. "It doesn't matter now. It's all dealt with. You won't be seeing him again."  
He looked unconvinced, but changed the subject none the less.

After two painful hours of 'chatting' with her parents and ignoring her older sister's rude comments, Lily retreated to her room.  
She looked around at the walls; pictures from primary school mixed with moving images of days at Hogwarts littered them.  
She was glad to see her huge bed, and fell onto it.  
It had been a long day, and Lily was just grateful that she had two full months to try and forget the incident.

Thinking about how her sixth year at Hogwarts would be made her want to cry. This time last year, she'd been sitting with Severus, talking about how cool it would be to become a prefect, and if the OWL's would be as bad as they seemed.  
Everything had changed. Even James Potter had changed, if slightly. He definitely hadn't been hexing people in the corridors anymore.  
This made her even more confused, how was she supposed to hate the boy if he technically wasn't doing anything wrong? Where was her excuse?

Lily tried to sleep, but her brain was too full of utter dragon dung.  
Should she tell Marlene? Would she understand?  
Or just mock her forever?  
Probably the latter.  
Maybe she could ask Petunia for some sisterly advice?  
Lily scoffed. Now _that _was just plain ridiculous. She must be tired.

"Lily get your fat arse out of bed!"  
Lily rolled over.  
What a lovely wakening. Got to love the family moments.  
"Vernon is coming over in half an hour and I don't want you to scare him away."  
How nice.  
Lily sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was in for a fun day with the abominable walrus looking down at her whilst discussing his obsession with drills. Yes, _drills.  
_That is how truly boring he is.

Petunia had walked into the room, looking horribly barbieish in a pink dress and heels with her blonde hair curled.  
"Up!" Lily glared at her as she walked over to the wardrobe.  
"What are you doing?" Lily questioned as her sister rifled through her clothes. Petunia screwed her face up. "All of your clothes are dreadful!"  
"Don't look at them then!"  
"I have to make you look presentable!"  
"Tuney get out of my room right now before I hit you."  
"No!"  
Petunia brought out a denim skirt that Lily had never worn.  
"This will do."  
She picked a purple top, still looking like she had a bad smell under her nose. "Just put this on."  
She stalked out of the room. Lily raised her middle finger up at her.

"Bloody sister…making me wear this thing for her blob of a boyfriend…could be sleeping or eating right now…god's sake…" She continued to mutter to herself as she got ready.

Twenty minutes later, Lily was sitting with her legs crossed in the kitchen, with her _lovely _denim skirt on.  
Mrs Evans was bustling around the kitchen, complaining about the visitor as much as her daughter.  
"He seems nice enough Lily, but I think Petunia can do better. She's such a pretty young lady…shame."  
Lily smirked. Pretty young horse, more like.  
"Vernon does have a loud voice…he fills the room."  
She scoffed.  
"Oh, you'll realise what I mean, Lily."  
The doorbell rang and Lily saw her mum wince ever so slightly.  
"Here he is now."  
She headed to the door.  
"Pretend you like him!" She shouted as she left the room.  
Lily groaned.

"Vernon this is my sister, Lily." Petunia said in a bored voice.  
Lily smiled as best as she could, given the fact that a multiple chinned elephant was standing in front of her.  
He looked down at her, frowning.  
"Is she the freak?" He directed this to Petunia, who nodded.  
Feeling the love.  
After that, Vernon ignored her for the rest of the afternoon.  
"So, Vernon, how is the drilling business going?" Mr Evans asked as they drank their tea. Lily groaned. This could go on for years.


	11. Boredom and letters

Lily's third day of summer had so far been no better than her second. She had gotten up early again and made pancakes in the kitchen for breakfast. Now she was sat doing her holiday assignment for defence against the dark arts. She'd heard no word from any of her friends, and she couldn't send them a letter as her owl was out hunting.

Lily yawned, folding her parchment up.  
"Lily! There's a bloody owl on my window sill!"  
Lily looked towards the sound of her sister's whiny voice. Petunia was standing at the top of the stairs in a purple dressing gown. Her hair was wet; she'd clearly just come from the shower.  
"What do you want me to do about it?" Lily asked drearily.  
"It's got some sort of paper in its mouth. That's how your lot send your mail, right?"  
Lily stood up, suddenly excited. It couldn't be Alice, Marlene or Hestia's owl; their birds knew where her room was. It was too soon for a Hogwarts letter…so who could it be?  
She ran out of the room and past her sister, arriving in Petunia's large bedroom. Sure enough, a large tawny owl was banging its beak on the windowpane. Lily rushed and opened it. The owl flew over and settled itself on Petunia's pillow, dropping the letter.  
Petunia looked on in disgust at the bird. It was sitting up right; with its beak in the air…it looked almost…arrogant.  
How can an owl look like that?  
Lily giggled slightly as she picked up the letter. The handwriting was unfamiliar. She tore the envelope and opened up the note.

_Dear Evans,  
I'm asking you-nicely-what you did to Prongs on the train the other day.  
He's been acting strange and distinctly like a moody teenage girl.  
(No offence.)  
It's getting rather annoying.  
My gorgeous owl will not leave until you write back.  
Lot's of love and good hair,  
Sirius Black._

Lily read over the letter a few times, a frown etched onto her face. James really was upset about the…uh…kiss?  
She'd figured he'd get over it by snogging a couple girls and drinking a gallon or two of Firewhiskey.  
Apparently not.  
Lily picked up her quill and a spare piece of paper. She scribbled a short note onto it. The weird owl had its leg out, looking distinctly bored.

_Black,  
Shouldn't you be asking Potter what's wrong with him?  
How should I know?  
Lily. _

__She attached the note, and immediately the owl took off. She watched as it soared over the clouds and out of view. Petunia was looking aghast by the door.  
"Lily I just changed those sheets!"  
Lily raised her eyebrows. "So?"  
"Now I have to do it again! That animal sat on them! You know Vernon is allergic to birds."  
Lily snorted and walked out of the room. She returned to the living room, excitement short-lived. If one sodding letter from Sirius Black was the highlight of her day, she was in for a long summer.

Approximately two hours later, Lily got a reply.

_Evans, wow.  
Prongs told me everything, so don't bother denying it.  
He kissed you! The bloody idiot kissed you!  
I'm still laughing, don't mind me.  
Anyway, that explains his rotten mood.  
How was the kiss? Tell Uncle Sirius all the hot gossip.  
More love and laughter,  
Sirius._

Lily laughed at the note. If Sirius knew, then surely Remus and Peter did too. Perhaps she should tell the girls.  
She was the only one in the house, Petunia was with Vernon yet again and Mr and Mrs Evans were out for lunch.  
She sat cross-legged on the floor and replied to her fellow Gryffindor.

_Black.  
Yes, laugh all you want. It really isn't that funny.  
Honestly.  
Tell Potter not to be embarrassed, I'll try and forget that little incident.  
And no! I'm not telling you how it was.  
Still hate you,  
Lily._

She sent the owl off again, and decided to eat something. Lily made a sandwich and sat down, thoroughly bored out of her mind. She could hardly wait for Sirius's reply.  
Merlin, how sad was that?

_Evans,  
Oh okay.  
James is still moping around. Maybe you should write him?  
Just an idea.  
The ridiculously handsome Sirius Black.  
_

Lily sighed. Should she? What would she even say?  
The day had been completely boring and Lily already wished she were back at school.  
At least there she had something to do all of the time. All she wanted to do was get out of the house, see some of her school friends.

_Potter.  
__**James**__.  
Black told me to write you to tell you to stop being a silly arse.  
Enjoy your bloody summer!  
If you want, maybe you four could meet Alice, Marlene, Hestia and I in Diagon Alley?  
Say whatever day. I'm so bored out of my mind and it's only been three days.  
Look, what I mean to say is…maybe we could be friends?  
Lily._

The moment she'd sent the letter off, Lily regretted it.  
What if he said yes? Would she actually have to go?  
Merlin, spend the day with the marauders? She'd rather spent a week with Vernon and Petunia.  
…Well, maybe that was taking it a little far.

James didn't reply until the next day.

_Lily,  
I don't mind.  
James._

How eloquent.  
Three words.  
She'd waited a whole day, for three bloody words.  
Not even three good words!  
Her owl had arrived back that morning, so Lily sent her off with letters to Hestia, Marlene and Alice, asking if they fancied a _fun_ day out with the marauders.

The replies were so similar it was comical.

_Lily,  
Is that really you?  
The marauders?  
Are you serious? (No pun intended.)  
Love Alice._

_Lil's,  
Er, what?  
Who is this? Why have you got Lily Evan's owl?  
I'm confused.  
Hestia._

_EVANS WHAT THE HELL?  
The MARAUDERS?  
HAVE YOU GONE MAD?  
…but yeah, sure I'll go.  
Marlene._

Lily had to send back three replies, explaining that no one had kidnapped her and she hadn't gone insane (yet).  
Alice still seemed unconvinced, but they all agreed to go.  
Lily owled James, asking to meet tomorrow at half 12 outside Florean's Ice cream parlour.

An hour later, he replied.

_All right then._

That boy really had a way with words.


	12. Ice cream

**AN:/Hey guys, I really want to thank you again for the reviews! They mean so much and I love you all. Tell me, do you prefer shorter chapters like this with daily updates, or longer ones with maybe three or so days in between?(as they take longer to write) x**

The next morning, Lily woke feeling strangely at ease. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned widely. The sun was splitting through her blinds, and there didn't seem to be a Petunia lurking about her wardrobe.  
Lily sat up, thinking she'd maybe go downstairs and make some breakfast, maybe read a little, because she had nothing planned for the-  
"CRAP."  
Lily put her head in her hands. How had she _completely_ forgotten? Today she was heading to Diagon Alley with the arse patrol.

Feeling thoroughly depressed and shocked at how fast her mood could drastically change; she stumbled over to the bathroom.  
After a short shower, Lily dried her hair and got dressed. She looked in the mirror and attempted to smile.  
Oh well.  
The scowl seemed permanently etched onto her face.

Lily looked at the time. It was ten to twelve, and she was confused about where exactly the rest of her family were.  
Downstairs in the kitchen she found a note, explaining that they had all gone out for breakfast and that they hadn't wanted to wake her.

How very considerate of them…must be something wrong.

Lily didn't think much on it though; her mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of James Potter. (Oh not like _that, _honestly.)  
How awkward was it going to be? Merlin, what if Sirius mentioned it? The girls didn't even know!

She spent the rest of her time pacing around her house, biting her lip. When the time came when had to go, Lily walked outside to the road and stuck her wand arm out. The purple Knight Bus came whizzing around the corner immediately, and Lily paid her fee before clambering on.

The bus journey was uneventful apart from one elderly witch complaining loudly about how the vehicle wouldn't go underwater. She explained in great detail of how her friend's nephew was part grindylow, and they'd had plans together for the day. She left in a storm, shouting about how she'd be taking it up with the ministry.  
Completely bonkers.

Lily stepped wearily onto the crowded alley, looking around. She spotted Alice sitting outside the popular ice cream shop, thankfully on her own. Lily made her way over and hugged her friend.  
"Thank Merlin it's just you Al,"  
Lily said. She was wringing her hands together. They were clammy and shaking.  
"Why? You've been acting rather odd you know Lily. After your disappearance on the train," Lily yelped.  
"And now inviting the marauders out for the day? We're all quite confused."  
Lily breathed in deeply. Now was the time to tell her, right?

"Um, well Alice…I think I should tell you where I was on the train. It'll explain everything."  
Alice nodded and held her hand up. "Go."  
"I was in another closet with James Potter and we kissed."  
Lily was bloody surprised at how calmly and rationally she'd said that.  
Alice was bloody surprised for a whole other reason.  
"Excuse me? You did what?!"  
"Yeah, we kissed." Lily shrugged.  
"OH MY MERLIN-"

"Now, now Alice. I know I may seem godly…but there's no need to call me Merlin."  
Sirius Black was looking down at the two, winking.  
With Remus and Peter in tow. He loudly pulled over three extra chairs, throwing himself into one. Alice was still looking wide-eyed, and seemed lost for words. Lily hastily stamped on her foot.  
Alice jumped up and banged her knee on the table. The boys were looking at her very strangely, and she blushed crimson.  
"What's up with you, Prewett?" Peter said, once again trying to act cool.  
Alice looked down, shaking her head slightly.

"Where's J-James?" Lily asked.  
Sirius smirked. "Oh, loverboy will be along. He was taking way too long looking at himself in the mirror, so we left without him."  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "That is _not_ the story. _You_ were spending too long looking at yourself with the bathroom door locked, that James didn't have enough time to get ready." He looked over at Lily. "He told us to go on without him."  
Lily nodded whilst Sirius stuck out his bottom lip. "My story was better." He said huffily. Everyone ignored him.

Around 10 minutes later, Hestia and Marlene arrived.  
The small table was getting rather crowded, and after they'd all ordered their usual huge tubs of ice cream, there was barely enough room to move.  
Alice still hadn't been able to form a proper sentence. She kept giving Lily strange looks with her mouth half open. It was quite disconcerting.  
Finally, Alice looked at Marlene and Hestia.  
"Come to the toilets with me!" She squeaked.  
Lily moved to get up, but Alice shook her head. "Not you!"

The three other girls left, and Lily found herself alone with three boys. Sirius was throwing glacier cherries into his mouth whilst Peter looked on in awe. Remus was looking quite bored and rather tired.  
Lily rolled her eyes as Sirius got another cherry into his mouth. Sirius looked over and caught the look.  
"What, Evans? You're just jealous of my crazy cherry-throwing skills."  
Lily scoffed. "That'll be something to tell your grandchildren then. Add it to your record of achievements why don't you?"  
Sirius pouted. "You try then!"

Lily picked up on of the shiny fruits, staring at Sirius fiercely. She put her head back and threw the cherry. It landed at the back of her throat and of course she had to choke on it.  
As she spluttered the three other boys laughed. Lily blinked the water away from her eyes. "Don't die Evans, Prongs would probably do something drastic." Sirius said slowly.  
Lily snorted-so attractive-and picked up a large spoonful on strawberry ice cream. Sirius looked at it, and looked at his own, somehow understanding the unspoken challenge. He scooped up the same amount and the two simultaneously stuffed it into their mouths.  
Sirius screwed his eyes up and shouted, "BRAINFREEZE!" spitting the contents of his mouth all over the tablecloth. Lily persevered; she was determined to beat Sirius Black.

"What the ruddy hell is going on here?"  
Lily looked up at the newcomer.  
Oh dear.  
James was standing, frowning down at the group.  
Lily became very aware of the melted ice cream dribbling all over her lips and down her chin. She quickly swallowed the ice cream and snatched up a napkin, wiping her mouth.  
Sirius broke the tension, thankfully.  
"Evans here, thought she could beat me in an ice cream contest."

James sat down, in the only available seat, which of course had to be next to hers. He seemed very tense, and Lily could see the day going rapidly downhill from here.  
The girls returning only made things worse. Marlene looked once at Lily, then James and burst out laughing. Hestia was red-faced and grinning. Alice still looked like she'd been stunned.  
James looked over at her awkwardly, and Lily focused on the remnants in her ice cream.  
Her friends sat down again, but Marlene kept smirking at them, very obviously.

…This really was going to be a long day.


	13. Peter is caught in the middle

**AN:/So sorry for this ridiculously short chapter, but it seemed like a good time to end it. I'll post another one later on.  
****Also, I'm one review away from 40! Guys, that's amazing. Thank you all so much. :) **

For about an hour after James's arrival, things in the group seemed rather tense. Lily had long ago finished her ice cream and had nothing to do.  
James was stirring the melted contents of his bowl, blinking very slowly. Alice had found Frank and was off somewhere with him.  
"So…" Sirius said, looking around. "What shall we do then?"  
Lily shrugged.  
They fell into another silence. After five minutes, Sirius grabbed Marlene's hand and pulled her up.  
"Just going to have a bit of a walk around, bye!"  
Marlene giggled and followed the boy. Lily watched them disappear, feeling more uncomfortable by the minute.  
Hestia yawned widely and looked over at Remus, who had his head on the table.  
"Remus, mind coming with me to Quality Quidditch Supplies? I'm thinking of trying out for the team next year."  
Remus jumped up.  
"Of course!" He just looked glad to get away.

After they had left, Lily glanced around at her company.  
Peter Pettigrew and James Potter.  
Oh Merlin.  
James clearly wasn't in the mood to talk, and everyone knew Peter wasn't an ace at conversational skills.  
"So, Peter." Lily said. "Any sign of a girlfriend?" She smiled kindly as Peter turned beetroot.  
He looked over at James before talking.  
"W-well…there's this girl I like…but n-no…"  
Lily grinned. "Who?"  
Peter shook his head. "I can't tell you!"  
"You can tell me, I might be able to help!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James give her a dirty look, but she ignored it.  
"I could set you two up!"  
James scoffed and Lily looked around to glare at him.  
"Problem, Potter?"  
"No." James said, smiling sarcastically.  
"Well, anyway…Peter. I could tell you what girl's like!"  
James made a noise that sounded like a laugh.  
"What, Potter?"  
"Nothing…I just don't think _you'd _be the best to give advice on love. How many boyfriends have you had exactly?"  
Lily blushed.  
"Shut it, Potter."

James turned to Peter. "You'd be better asking me. I can tell you everything."  
"Sure, if he wants to become an arrogant pig who thinks he can get any girl by looking funny at them, go ahead."  
James glowered at her.  
"What's that supposed to mean Evans?"  
"It means you're an arsehole!"  
Lily's voice was getting louder and she noticed a couple looking over at their table.  
"Erm…guys?" Peter said anxiously. "Keep it down." Alas, Peter was not the best person to try and break up a fight.

"I'm an arsehole?" James said, pointing to himself. "Well you're just a frigid cow."  
Lily flared up. "I am not!"  
"Oh that's right. Who would want to kiss Lily Evans?"  
She raised her eyebrows. "You, maybe?" James laughed coldly.  
He turned to Peter. "See? She's clearly delusional! Thinking I'd want to kiss _her?" _  
Peter was staring open mouthed.

Lily felt tears well up in her eyes.  
"I bloody hate you, James Potter!" Lily stood up, her voice was cracking and she had to get out before things got worse.  
"Oh, don't worry! The feeling is mutual."  
James smirked.  
"Not my fault you have some weird fascination with me. You invited us out…what is that about? We're not your friends!" He was standing now too, whilst Peter watched on in shock.  
"Fine then! I won't be your friend!" Lily screamed. Everyone walking past looked over.  
She was crying now, unable to stop the tears.  
James said nothing, and he looked almost regretful for a moment. Then he shook his head slightly.  
"Good."  
Lily stared at him before walking away. She ignored the pitied looks coming from all directions.

She didn't look back, so she didn't see James hunch his shoulders in defeat. She didn't see him sit down beside Peter and put his head in his hands.


	14. The swing set

**AN:/Yay, two updates in one night!  
If any of you would like to follow me on Twitter, I'm emilyrose_1  
Enjoy x**

Lily didn't really remember the journey home. She was furious at herself for crying in front of him. She was furious for crying at all! She'd finally let him get to her. All that rubbish about liking her and wanting them to be friends, it had all just been a game.

Lily had been telling herself that for years, but now that even James himself had admitted it, she had to say she felt pretty crap.  
She was still so angry. Why hadn't she punched him or something? That would have been much better than walking off like a stroppy girl from a bad movie. She was embarrassed too; what would the rest of the marauders say? And the girls?  
Damn James Potter.

"Lily? Thought you were going out with your friends?" The rest of her family had just arrived back.  
"Came home early." Lily shrugged. "Where were you three for so long?"  
Mrs Evans blushed and looked over at her husband.  
"Oh, well, we were looking at a house actually." He rubbed his neck nervously.  
"You were what?" Lily questioned.  
"Well, your mother and I have been living in this house since we got married. We reckoned a change would be nice."  
"And you just forgot to invite me to see the house replacing my childhood home?" Lily raised her eyebrows.

Her parents looked over at each other, as if saying 'your turn.'  
Petunia took it upon herself to explain.  
"They didn't invite you because you go off to that freak school for 10 months of the year. We only see you at Christmas and summer; so technically, you're just a visitor. A houseguest."  
Bloody fantastic.  
Not even her own family wanted her.  
"Nice to know I'm considered so important to this family." Lily folded her arms.  
"Petunia didn't mean it that way-"  
"Oh, I did." Her older sister interjected.  
Lily smirked. "Okay Tuney, if I'm a _guest, _why don't you go and make me a nice cup of tea?"  
Petunia scoffed. "No way-"  
"Well," Mr Evans began. "She has a point, Petunia…go make her a cup of tea."  
Petunia scowled and walked to the door.  
"Your mother and I too, thanks!"  
Lily heard mutterings of the words 'slave' and 'bloody' a lot before her sister went out of earshot.

Lily crossed her legs over. "So, how was this house then?" Lily's dad shrugged.  
"It's okay…don't know if we could bare to leave this one."  
She nodded.  
"Where is it?"  
"Little Whinging. Number 4 Privet Drive."  
Lily's mum wrinkled her nose up. "I didn't like it at all; too prim and proper. It didn't feel like home." She paused. "Your sister adored it though, said if she and Vernon move in together that'd be her perfect home! Well, she'll be 20 next week…old enough to grow up! I wonder if Vernon might propose?"  
Lily rolled her eyes, seeing her mum become teary. Mr Evans was frowning, as if it was just dawning on him who exactly his first daughter could be spending the rest of her life with.

Petunia returned with three cups of tea. She slammed Lily's down on the coffee table. Lily grinned as her sister glared and sat down opposite her.  
"So you liked the house, Tuney?"  
Petunia nodded, looking over at her mother quickly.  
"Yes. It was practical! Good size kitchen and living room. Large enough cupboard under the stairs for storing coats and such in." Lily stared at her. Who honestly cared if there was enough room for coats?  
"Fascinating." Lily said. That earned another glare from Petunia.

Later on, when she was eating dinner with her family, Lily decided to forget about the marauders. She was going to live like a muggle for the summer; no spell books or potions. Perhaps she could even get a job at a café or something? She nodded to herself. That would be good.

* * *

The next morning Lily found two letters on her desk. One from Marlene;

_Lily!  
What the hell happened?  
TELL ME.  
Marlene._

The other from Sirius;

_Way to go Evans.  
You've caused Prongs permanent brain damage or something.  
He hasn't spoken one word all day.  
SB._

She discarded them after reading once. Muggles didn't send letters by owls, so neither did she.  
Though, she did hope very much that something bad had happened to James Potter on account of her. That thought made her smile.

Lily got dressed and figured she could do some bonding with Petunia. Maybe they could go for more than 10 minutes without killing each other in their heads.  
She opened Petunia's door.  
"Hey, Tuney I-"  
"GET OUT!" Petunia slammed the door in her face.  
Oh well…it was worth a try.

Seeing as she couldn't talk to her sister, Lily reckoned a nice day with her father couldn't hurt. Perhaps they could go into town or something.  
Lily approached the kitchen and nearly vomited at the sight.  
Her mum and dad were-ugh-_kissing_ over their cornflakes. Lily covered her eyes.  
"Parents!" Lily shouted.  
They broke apart, smiling at each other sweetly.  
Lily shook her head. "You disgust me."  
She walked out and just kept on walking, out the front door. She soon found herself at the park.

Lily sat on the swings, watching two young children playing by the slides. They looked about nine; the age Lily was when she first met Severus Snape.  
For the first time, Lily thought about how her life would have been if she'd never gotten that letter on her 11th birthday.  
She would have gone to St Brigids secondary school with Petunia; they'd have been the best of friends. She would have been closer to her parents, she also would have been considered more than just a passing houseguest.

But she would have never gone to Hogwarts, never met Alice, Marlene or Hestia. She wouldn't have a clue what strange words like 'Quidditch' or 'Muggle' meant.  
After thinking about it, Lily decided she was extremely glad she was a witch. Even if she was just a freak.

"Lily?" Lily looked over her shoulder and groaned. From the corner of her eyes she saw Severus sit down on the other swing.  
"What are you doing here, Snape?" Lily said bitterly.  
"This is our meeting place, remember?" The smaller boy said quietly. "We can see the swings from our bedroom windows. So when we looked out and one of us was sitting here, it meant 'I need you with me right now'."  
Lily looked over at him. "Well, that was before."  
"Not now?"  
Lily shook her head. "No."  
Severus looked down. "Oh, sorry. I saw you, that's why I came."

"Why did you just leave me with Avery and Mulciber on the train?"  
"I'm so sorry about that Lily." Severus said, looking guilty. "You don't know them like I do. You can't just…disobey them."  
She smiled sadly. "You were always a coward. Even when we were little."  
Severus nodded. "I know. I…I hope they didn't hurt you."  
"No. They didn't."  
"That's good then."  
Lily looked at him sharply. "Why do you bother with them?"  
Severus bit his lip. "They know people, Lily."  
"Bad people. Like that Voldemort chap."  
The boy beside her stiffened. "D-don't say his name!"  
Lily scoffed. "I'm not scared of someone arrogant enough to demand people call him 'you know who'…honestly!"  
"He has the right idea, you know."  
Lily laughed. "This is why we can't be friends, Severus. You support the man who wants people like me dead."  
Severus said nothing.  
Lily herself didn't know much about Voldemort. All she'd heard was that he was some bloke who fancied starting a bit of a rebellion, pure blood supremacy and all that. She wasn't worried; Dumbledore would never let him get out of control.

"You've chosen your path, I've chosen mine." Lily said simply.  
Severus sighed.  
"I have to get back…my mother doesn't know I'm out."  
He got up and waited for Lily to say goodbye. She turned away and scuffed the metal pole with her foot.

When Lily looked back, Severus was gone.


	15. Kidnapping

**AN:/Hey there guys, firstly, I'd like to say thank you for all of the reviews, follows and favourites so far...I never imagined this story would be so popular! I really enjoy writing it and i'm glad you all seem to be enjoying reading it!  
First part of this chapter is James' POV.  
**

James Potter refused to move. He was lying on his bed with his face stuffed under the pillow. He could tell Sirius, Remus and Peter were all watching him. Sirius was probably smirking.  
"Listen, Prongs." James heard Remus say, though his voice was distorted. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you didn't exactly handle that very well did you?"  
James looked up, only to glare at the sandy haired boy.  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Moony." He grumbled.  
"Well, it's the truth!" Remus defended. "You treated her like hippogryff dung."  
"I didn't mean to!"  
"Well, telling a girl that no one would ever want to go out with her and saying she was obsessed with you, not really the best way to make her fall in love with you, right?"  
James dropped his shoulders. Remus was, as usual, one hundred percent right. He had no idea _why _he had been so rotten to her. He'd actually planned to agree to be friends, and make up with her. Now, Lily probably hated him more than ever.

James groaned and put his face back against the pillow.  
"What should I do?"  
Sirius grinned. "Forget about her for now! Melinda is having a huge summer party next week, you can get a little drunk, snog a couple girls…your problem is solved!"  
Remus rolled his eyes. "That's your solution to everything, Sirius."  
Sirius nodded solemnly. "Yep. Fail a potions exam? Drunken snog.  
Minnie gives you another detention? Drunken snog. Having a slightly bad day in general?_"  
"_Drunken snog?" Peter said hopefully.  
"Sorry Pete, 'fraid I don't swing that way." Sirius winked. Peter blushed.

"Sirius, stop winding Peter up." Remus scolded.  
James tuned out their usual bickering. Maybe he should go to Melinda's party. But what if Lily was there?  
What would he do then? He supposed he could apologise, but he doubted Lily would forgive him anyway.

"Clearly James doesn't want to go to the party Sirius," Remus was saying. "He's been moping for two days straight now, I hardly think-"  
"I'll go." James said suddenly.  
The marauders looked over. "You will?" Sirius said excitedly.  
"_You_ _will_?" Remus said, looking displeased.  
"Yeah sure! I can't spend the rest of my life chasing a girl I am never going to get." He paused. Sirius and Peter were grinning.  
"Marauders? I think it's time I got myself a girlfriend."

* * *

Lily looked at the pile of letters on her desk. They were mostly from Marlene, Alice and Hestia, but a few crudely worded notes from Sirius Black appeared too.  
She was resolutely refusing to reply to any of them. Marlene's were all in capital letters, and she'd actually sent a howler to her earlier. It had been so loud that she'd had to shut it into her wardrobe and pull her jumper over her head.

"_LILY MARIE EVANS IF YOU DO NOT REPLY RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO MERLIN I WILL STEAL BLACK AND PETTIGREW'S DIRTY SOCKS AND ATTACH THEM TO YOUR NOSE BY MAGIC.  
PERMANENTLY.  
WATCH ME EVANS.  
I WILL DO IT.  
Marlene."_

Lily hadn't taken that threat too seriously, she was pretty sure Marlene couldn't do magic like that quite yet.  
She had received a further two from Marlene just an hour later, and was beginning to find her persistence aggravating. She was determined not to reply though.

Lily yawned and looked at the clock by her bed. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. The house was silent; her family was out. She decided to have a quick nap before they got back.  
Her quick nap turned into a deep sleep though. Lily dreamed she was back at Hogwarts.

She was with James in the closet and he was telling her how much he loved her…or was it hated her? He kept changing his mind, eyes turning from warm to cold in split seconds. Suddenly he leaned down and they were kissing again, but this time Lily was kissing him back and it was nice and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Then he stumbled back, disgust marring his features. "Evans, who'd want to kiss you? Not me anyway!" Then he'd left the closet and locked the door after him.  
After that, the dream pretty much descended into rubbish. She couldn't open the door but the closet wasn't a closet anymore, it was a zoo and the lion was talking to her and feeding her melted strawberry ice cream and-  
"LILY!"

Lily shot up and banged her head on something hard.  
"Buggering hell, Lily! A voice muttered.  
Lily opened her eyes and jumped. Marlene was inches away from her face, rubbing her forehead with a scowl on her face.  
"Thanks for that." She said. "You've probably just given me brain damage. I'm serious, if I have a bump I will have to kill you."

"Marlene, what the hell are you doing here?"  
"I'm kidnapping you." She shrugged, grabbing Lily's shoulders.  
"You are not!" Lily shouted.  
"Your mum and dad agreed, so technically, you have no choice in the matter."  
"I'm not going!"  
"Yes you are!" Marlene said happily. "Look! I already packed your bags while you were dreaming about Potter."  
Lily blushed. "W-what? Preposterous why would I-"  
"Cut the crap, Evans. Everyone knows you sleep talk." Marlene smirked.  
"Sleep moan more like…'Oooh James, James!' That's what you sounded like!"  
"Oh my god. It wasn't like that!"  
She winked. "Your secret is safe with me, Lil's.  
Besides, we have a lot of planning to do."  
"Ha?" Lily said, confused.  
"Melinda Doris is having a party in a few days. You're going to make James Potter wish he'd never crossed us."  
She smiled menacingly.  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
Fabulous.


	16. The party

**AN:/Hiii guys, sorry about the delay:( To make up for it, here's my longest chapter yet! Yay!x**

"Bloody ow Alice! Watch where you're sticking that!" Lily moaned as her three friends fluttered around her. The room smelt heavily of perfume and burnt hair. Hestia was curling Lily's hair into ringlets, whilst Marlene painted her toenails. Alice was sticking a make up brush into Lily's eye.  
"Sorry Lily!" Alice said, her face was concentrated and she blinked slowly.  
"Oh, quit moaning Evans." Marlene said as she looked up at her friend. They were all wearing their dressing gowns.  
"This is horrible!" Lily yelped as Alice tugged sharply on her eyebrows.  
"Honestly Lily, do you ever pluck your eyebrows?"  
Lily shrugged, feeling self-conscious.  
Hestia had finished with her hair, and she waved her wand over Lily's head, murmuring a spell she didn't recongnise.  
"What are you doing?" Lily asked.  
"It's this spell Mary Macdonald showed me. It keeps your hair perfect all night!"  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Are we nearly done yet?"  
Marlene laughed. "You still have to get your dress on."  
Lily gulped. "Dress?" She said in a small voice.  
"Yes Lil's, you're going to act like a girl tonight. You will talk in a squeaky voice and moan about your weight with all the other girls who talk in squeaky voices and moan about their weight."  
Lily closed her eyes, feeling the need to cry.

"Oh hell no." Lily muttered. "I'm not wearing this!" She shouted. The girls had sent her to the bathroom with a dress…if you could even call it that.  
"Yes you are!" Marlene said back, through the door. "I'll come in there and force you to put it on it you really want!"  
Lily shuddered. "Fine! Give me five minutes!"  
She set the dress on the sink and stared down at it. It was nice enough, and she was sure Hestia or Marlene would look gorgeous in it with their huge height and bodies like the models in Witch Weekly.  
But Lily?  
She looked like your average twelve-year old boy. Her chest was a washboard and she had no curves whatsoever.

Sighing, Lily threw the thing on, getting tangled in the straps. She looked in the mirror. The dress ended too far above her knees for her liking. It was black with a lace panel across her shoulders. The back…well, there was no back. Fabric drooped over her shoulders and descended all the way down either side of her. Her entire back was bare. Lily thought she looked absolutely ridiculous. Her eyes were black and her hair was in massive curls.

Lily scowled and stepped out into Marlene's bedroom.  
The girls looked over and ceased talking. "Wow…" Hestia said.  
"I look horrible!" Lily shouted.  
Marlene rolled her eyes. "Wise up! I wish I could wear that dress, you don't even need to wear a bra!"  
Hestia nodded rapidly. Lily blushed. "It look's stupid. Why can't I just wear jeans?" Alice laughed.  
"Marly?" She said. "Get the shoes!"  
Marlene jumped up and opened her wardrobe. After some searching, she pulled out a pair of heels. Dark green heels that were at least 5 inches tall with a t-bar strap.  
"You've got to be joking." Lily breathed in.  
Marlene grinned. "Sit down, I'll put them on for you."  
Lily grumbled and sat down on the bed. She was going to fall flat on her face! What was Marlene thinking?  
"Okay…stand up."  
Lily pushed herself off the bed and stood. The heels were shaking.

"No way. I'll break my ankle!"  
"You just have to get used to them!" Alice said. "Take a few steps."  
Lily stepped forward, staggered a little, and promptly fell flat on her face.  
"Bloody hell!" Lily rubbed her face.  
Don't touch your face! You'll smudge the make up!"  
Lily pushed herself up to face the three girls.  
"I can't do this!"  
"Of course you can. You look amazing! You want to make James jealous, right?" Lily shook her head. No! She _really_ didn't. She hated the boy, despised him. Why on earth would she want to make him jealous? Lily knew the answer. Marlene had told Hestia and Alice about the dream, and they were all under the illusion that Lily _liked _the boy. Eugh.

After a few more failed attempts at walking, everyone was getting frustrated.  
"It's not that bloody hard!" Marlene shouted. "We'll be late if you don't get a move on!" They were all dressed now. Marlene looked stunning in a blue dress, which reached past her knees. Hestia was wearing one similar, only it was lilac. Alice had a strapless one on which fanned out around her at her hips.

"Wait!" Hestia said suddenly. She walked over to the dresser and grabbed one of the magazines she was subscribed to. "I read this yesterday…" She flicked through the pages. "Ah! Here it is." She grabbed her wand.  
"Lily, lift your feet up."  
Lily, too bored to argue, lifted her feet into the air.  
"Mallonollio reconcillius." Hestia said.  
"There. Stand up now." She was smiling smugly.  
Lily stood and looked down, shocked. The heels were still there, but she felt like she was wearing flats.  
"Hestia Jones, I bloody love you!"  
Lily grinned. Marlene breathed out in relief.  
"Thank Merlin." She grabbed a purse. "Right, let's go. We're already twenty minutes late."  
Lily walked down the stairs behind her friends, smiling happily. Now her feet weren't aching, she thought maybe she could actually have an all right night.

They approached the doors to Melinda's stately house. The blonde girl was waiting inside to greet everyone.  
"Lily!" Melinda grinned as Lily stepped up first. "Glad you could come!" Lily nodded and walked past, but the hostess grabbed her arm.  
"James just arrived! I think he's in the kitchen if you want to see him!"  
Lily rolled her eyes and walked on into the house. A group of seven or eight Ravenclaw's smiled at her.  
Well, Lily thought, at least she knew were _not_ to go.

She waited for Marlene, Alice and Hestia by a closed door at the end of the corridor.  
"We need a drink!" Marlene smirked.  
"No!" Lily said. "We're not of age!"  
Marlene scoffed. "Didn't stop you when you got rat-arsed before the OWL's."  
"That was Potter's fault!"  
Hestia winked. "Wow Lily, you seem to be talking about James a lot." Lily glared.  
"I hate him."  
"Doesn't mean you don't _like _him."  
Lily sighed. How could she avoid James all night?  
She vowed to try as hard to stay away from him.

The plan didn't go too well.  
As soon as she pushed open the door behind her open, she caught his eye. Lily groaned. She'd walked right into the bloody kitchen.  
He was sitting beside Sirius on the counter, a cup in his hand. Remus and Peter were standing on either side of them.  
Lily stopped, causing Alice to fall into her back.  
But Lily barely noticed.  
What she did notice was James. He was wearing muggle attire, the first time she'd ever seen him wearing it, jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was, if possible, more mussed than usual. His glasses were perched right on the edge of his nose and as he lifted his cup to his lips, Lily saw his muscles tense.  
…wow.  
Lily felt herself shiver slightly.  
What was wrong with her? It was as if her eyes were glued to him. She just couldn't look away.  
Alice put her hand on Lily's shoulder and shoved her out of the way, giving her a strange look before heading to the drinks table.  
Marlene and Hestia had now moved in front of her, blocking James from her view.  
"What's up with you?"  
Lily stared wide-eyed, shaking her head slightly.  
"Okay, now I need a drink."

Lily walked quickly over to the table, which was laden with bottles of Butterbeer, Firewhiskey and, to her shock, vodka.  
Lily grabbed the bottle of white spirit and wrenched it open. Ignoring the cups, she took a swig, wincing as the liquid hit her throat and burned it.  
"Merlin!" She heard Sirius shout.  
"Not holding back tonight, I see?" She looked over and smiled.  
"You look fit, Evans. No doubt about that." He winked.  
Her smile turned into a grin and she turned back around, sucking in her stomach, realising quite how tight the dress actually was.

Lily poured the drink into a cup and walked back to Hestia, Alice and Marlene.  
"There's something up with you." Marlene said.  
"What? Can't I just have a fun night once in my life?"  
Marlene shrugged. "Whatever, gimme some of that." She tugged the drink out of Lily's hands and took a gulp, before returning it.  
"Lets go see the marauders." She said, Lily felt dampness in her hand and rubbed it on her dress.  
"Okay." She whispered. She could do this.  
"Alright boys?" Hestia said when they reached the boys.  
James nodded. He was looking at Lily, examining her body in apparent awe. Lily put one hand on her hip, refusing to look at him. She took another drink and started up a conversation with Remus, making sure to push a hand through her hair every so often.

Lily had no idea why she was acting like this. So…seductively.  
So unlike Lily Evans.  
She didn't even care about James.  
As she finished her first cup, Lily's mind clouded over and her vision blurred at the edges. Though she felt amazing.

* * *

_**JAMES POV**  
_Was she trying to kill him?  
James still had his eyes stuck on the girl in front of him. She was chatting to Remus, laughing and acting so un-Lily-like.  
She was also ignoring him.  
Apart from when she'd entered the room, Lily hadn't given him one look of notice.  
And it was _horrible._

Of course, why should she? He hadn't exactly been nice to her on their last meeting. James only wished he could just talk to her.  
All plans of getting a girlfriend had been forgotten as fast as Lily could toss her hair over her shoulder.  
The girls soon left, going to dance in the large living room. Sirius was smirking at James like a mad man. James rolled his eyes.  
"Oh, I see their plan." Sirius said.  
James looked up. "Ha?"  
"They're just trying to torture you as much as possible. I'm sure Marlene, Alice and Hestia weren't ecstatic about how you treated their friend."  
"You think so?"  
Sirius nodded. James looked to Remus for confirmation. He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know…maybe."  
"Yeah, well! It's working! I usually can't stop staring at her, even when she's just wearing her school uniform. Now, with her in that dress…I don't know if I can last the night."


	17. Intoxicated revelation

**AN:/Hey there:) I'm trying to make the chapters longer like a few of you have said, and I promise to increase the length as the story progresses.  
****Hope you like this part!x**

Lily fell back onto the sofa, giggling profusely. She'd just danced her arse off but the others seemed to have disappeared.

Lily knew she was drunk. Completely and utterly blocked off her head. That's why the world was spinning and everything had a slight glimmer to it.  
She looked up, surrounded by strangers.  
People were jumping up and down to a fast song, Lily couldn't even hear the words over people laughing and shouting.

She closed her eyes. Her feet were hanging over the edge of the sofa, heels still intact. Lily hummed a muggle song she'd been listening to last week. Bright lights kept flashing behind her eyes, and explosions of colour melted down her eyeballs. She felt light, dizzy.  
"Lily!"  
Lily looked over and saw the hostess sitting on the edge of the sofa, looking down at her.  
"How'd you like the party?" The girl asked. Lily smiled.  
"Yeah, it's great Mel. Thanks for inviting us."  
Melinda waved her hand dismissively.  
"Oh no big deal." She shuffled slightly closer. "Tell me Lily, what exactly happened with you and James?"

Lily looked up and pushed her hair back from her face.  
James.  
If Lily cared to admit it, her thoughts had been on the boy the entire night. She couldn't help but stare at him. It freaked her out; where had the sudden attraction come from? Lily shook her head slightly. No, that indicated that she _liked _him, and Lily _knew _she did _not_ like-  
Oh Merlin.  
The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.  
She liked him.  
She really, _really_ liked him.  
What other explanation was there?

She shuddered, suddenly feeling cold. Lily seemed to realise Melinda was still there, watching her with a weird look on her face.  
"Well?"  
"Um…" Lily mumbled. Her head was spinning.  
Potter! How on earth could she like him? She hated him!  
Lily felt sick.  
"L-listen Melinda," Lily stammered. "Can we continue this later? I have to g-go to the bathroom."  
Melinda looked slightly crestfallen, but nodded none the less.  
"Use mine." She said. "Upstairs, third door on the right."  
Lily smiled, grateful.  
She got up and stumbled to the door, pushing sticky bodies out of her way.

Lily put her hands on either side of the sink, looking up into her reflection. It seemed that Hestia's spell had not worked on her makeup.  
Lily's face was red, with the foundation rubbed off. Her eyes were stinging where the mascara had gone into them. Her hair was still set in perfect ringlets though.

In other words, she looked like a complete mess.  
And she felt like one too.  
Lily blinked rapidly, and a dull throb hit right between her eyes, reminding her she was completely intoxicated.  
A spark of hope ignited. Maybe she didn't actually fancy James. It was just the alcohol screwing up her mind. Lily tried to convince herself that that was the case, though deep down she knew she'd probably liked him for a long time.

Lily breathed in. She didn't know what to do. Tell him?  
James had made it crystal clear that he liked her very much on the train…but then again, what about in Diagon Alley?  
And did she want him to know? Did she want to…go out with him? Hold his hand, have his arm around her shoulders…kiss his lips.

…Hell yeah she did.  
Lily screwed up her eyes, a picture forming in her mind. James had his arm slung over her shoulder, and they were laughing. The girls and the other marauders were there too, finally able to become friends, because Lily didn't hate James anymore.  
It was a strange image.  
But it was also a nice one, a lovely one.  
Lily smiled slightly, feeling suddenly confident.  
Maybe this _could_ work.

Lily spent some time fixing her make up. She'd found Melinda's case and had carefully reapplied everything, including some red lipstick this time. This took her about 15 minutes, and she could tell she was stalling.  
Despite this fact, Lily took off her shoes and sat on the cold marble floor. She ran her hands along the pattern with her eyes closed. She was imagining how the next hour would go.  
If she waltzed up and told James she liked him, would he throw her one of his lopsided grins, push up his glasses and pull her into his arms?  
Or would he and Sirius laugh? Lily hoped that wouldn't be the case.  
Maybe she should tell Marlene first…she could advise her on how to tell him.

Or maybe she could just walk straight up to him and snog his face off.  
The less reasonable side of her (so the drunk side) told her it liked that idea.  
Therefore, Lily liked that idea.

She waited another 10 or so minutes, before jumping to her feet and putting her shoes back on. This itself was a challenge, seeing as her hands were shaking like a leaf.  
Lily turned off the light and walked back to the main party. She looked for James in the kitchen and the living room where she had prior been. No sign of him.  
Lily asked a few people, who either shrugged or made gestures to their ears; they couldn't hear her.  
Getting more and more frustrated, Lily checked in the other rooms she hadn't been in yet. A room even larger than the previous one was lit up with candles. The music in here was quiet and slow; somehow the blasting songs from outside the door were unable to reach inside.  
A few couples were slow dancing in the middle of the floor. A few were cuddled up on chairs, stroking the others hair and smiling happily.  
Lily sighed; she wanted that.

After leaving the room, Lily walked down the seemingly endless corridor and entered another room.  
She promptly slammed the door shut, having seen _way _too much in the few seconds.  
The next ended in much the same outcome.  
Another had more dancers, yet still no James.  
Before closing the door though, Lily saw Remus, looking awkward as a girl chatted to him. She grinned and walked to them.

"Excuse me," Lily said. "Mind if I talk to Remus for a moment?"  
The girl glared at her, but walked to the other side of the room.  
Remus looked grateful, a small smile appearing on his face.  
"Thanks." He muttered, looking down. "What's up Lily?"  
She blushed.  
"Oh, I was er, looking for James actually."  
Remus quirked an eyebrow, clearly noticing the use of the boy in question's first name.  
"Oh, I think he went outside to get some air. The back garden." Lily nodded her head. "Thank you Lupin!" She shouted, already turning around to exit the room. Remus stared after her confusedly.

Lily rested her hand on the cold brass door handle. This was it.  
She breathed out shakily, fear and excitement running through her. Before any doubts crept into her mind, Lily pulled open the door and stepped out onto the patio.  
She closed the door behind her, and was covered in darkness. A few steps led down to the main garden, but there was no sign of James.  
Lily shivered. It must have been about midnight, and the cold air made the hairs on her arms stand up.

She stepped forward, figuring she might as well look for James.  
After leaving the steps, Lily walked onto the pathway. She saw a bench a few metres away, and the shadows of two people. They were clearing having fun.  
Lily crossed her arms and crept forward. She would sneak past without disturbing them.  
As she reached the bench, the features of the couple became clear.  
Lily nearly screamed, but bit back her horror.  
Severus Snape was fiercely kissing a girl she recognised as a Slytherin the year below him. She stumbled backwards.  
Lily hadn't thought he would have been at the party. In fact, it hadn't even so much as crossed her mind.  
Not sure whether to laugh or run away, Lily took a wide birth to the left, off the path. When she was certain the bench was far enough away, she continued down the garden.

At the very edge of the garden there was a shed, and a few stone steps that showed a perfect view of the black sky.  
And there, sitting quite still was the boy she had been searching for.

Lily crinkled the corners of her dress with her hands as she approached James. His glasses were sitting beside him on the ground. Lily thought that was weird; James _always_ wore his glasses. He was as blind as a bat without them.  
She tried to say his name, but it came out as a sort of strangled groan. James turned around suddenly, probably looking for the escaped animal that'd just made such an awful noise. Lily's cheeks reddened and she cleared her throat.  
"S-sorry."

James was staring up at her, mouth gaping. Lily sat down a few steps above him and he turned back to face the stars.  
"What is it?" James asked, voice quiet.  
"I need to tell you something." Lily said, proud for not stammering once.  
She saw his back tense. "Yeah? Go ahead."  
Lily bit her lip. "Well…I've been thinking, about what you said…on the train."  
James sat up straighter and she saw him run a hand through his hair.  
"Right." He said.  
"And I…well, what I mean to say is-"

"James?"  
Lily was interrupted mid sentence. She turned around, ready to glare at whoever had spoken.  
She gasped.  
Melinda.  
"What are you doing here with him?" Melinda asked. "I'm meeting him, so why are you here?"  
Lily stood up.  
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't realise…"  
"That's okay Lily." Melinda smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "If you want to head back up to the house…James and I have something to finish." She wiggled her eyebrows and Lily noticed for the first time that they were crudely drawn on, made a colour much darker than her blonde hair.  
Lily turned to James, who had said nothing.  
He looked conflicted, wanting to know what Lily had been saying.  
"Okay." She tore her eyes from his and walked a little past Melinda.  
"H-have fun." Lily said slowly, to disguise her shaky voice.

Lily quickened her pace to almost a jog, needing to get away.  
Stupid! Lily thought. How had she almost told him she liked him? How idiotic! He obviously would never want a girl like her. They weren't even close to being in the same league.  
Finding the bench deserted, it seemed Severus had left with his _friend,_ Lily sat down and put her head in her hands.  
A few tears leaked out of her eyes and she felt the wind blowing her hair to pieces. The spell had even worn off.  
She felt completely sober.  
And suddenly it was unbearable.


	18. A huge mistake

**AN:/Yeah I know I said I'd post longer chapters...but this isn't one of them...SORRY:(  
Soppy and overly dramatic chapter coming right up!  
**

Lily left, realising she was bloody freezing. She returned to the house and was more than grateful to find Hestia in the first room she tried.

Upon seeing her friends' distraught look, Hestia grabbed Lily's arm and took her upstairs.  
"Lily? What's wrong?"  
Lily sniffed; her eyes were beginning to tear up again.  
"Hest, I know we're meant to be staying at M-Marlene's t-tonight…but I j-just really want to be alone. T-take me home?"  
Hestia frowned but pulled her friend into a warm hug. Lily sighed as more tears rolled onto her friends shoulder. She pulled back.  
"I'm sorry."  
Hestia shook her head. "Don't be silly, Lil'."  
She paused. "You can talk about it if you want."  
Lily shook her head. "N-not here."  
Hestia nodded and put her arm around Lily.  
"Alright, let's get you home. I'll tell Alice and Marlene after."

Unfortunately, they did not get to the front door unnoticed. Lily realised what a mess she must look, with panda eyes and smudged red lips, but she was uncaring at that moment. Thinking of what Melinda and James were currently doing made her want to burst into more tears. This did confuse her; how could she have gone from one extreme to the next in about four hours? From full cold blooded hatred and revulsion to this heart breaking, traumatic yearning. She didn't understand it at all.  
She didn't understand herself.

"Oi, Evans! Jones!" Lily flinched at the voice of Sirius. "Leaving so quickly?" He walked past them then turned around, giving Lily an odd look.  
"Everything alright, poppet?"  
Lily buried her face in Hestia's shoulder, not willing to deal with a rat arsed Sirius Black on top of everything.  
"No," Hestia snapped. "And I'll bet it has something to do with your Potter!" She seemed angry, and Lily looked up.  
"No one insults James in front of me!" He was slurring his words. "Just cause _poor_ Evans got her wand stuck too far up her arse."  
Lily shot him a glare, which must of looked delightful to the onlookers.  
"You don't know anything." Hestia warned.  
Sirius barked a laugh. "That's cause there's nothing to know!"

Sirius bowed mockingly. "Leave then. Party'll be a hell of a lot better without you soppy princesses anyway."  
Hestia made to turn around, but Lily shrugged her arm away from her.  
"Hestia. I'm not bloody leaving. Come and do my freaking make up."  
Lily wanted nothing more than to fall into a heap in her bed and take the goddamned dress off. But what Sirius had said irked her. He thought she was a boring, goody two shoes. And James clearly didn't like her.  
So what did she really have to lose?

Half an hour later, for the second time that night Lily found herself replenished with perfect make up and hair. She took great pleasure in using up Melinda's entire expensive make up anyway. After leaving the bathroom, she purposefully walked away from Hestia, leaving her standing baffled.  
Feeling all too sober, Lily grabbed a glass of Firewhiskey and downed it, then another…and another. Feeling better now, Lily walked back to the dance room where people were still going crazy. Far too gone to be self-conscious, Lily approached Amos Diggory.  
She danced close to him to get his attention, then, during a break in the music, said "Hey, Amos." in her best flirty voice.  
The seventh year looked down at her, grinning. "Alright, Lily?"

Lily danced with him for about an hour, frequently topping up her glass so it was never empty.  
She was even drunker than earlier, having almost forgot about James Potter. She focused on the good-looking boy in front of her, enjoying his company.  
Though, in the back of her mind, Lily seemed to remember a cosy night in the girls dorm, and Hestia telling the girls how much she liked Amos…  
Lily lost her train of thought as she was offered another drink.

Soon, at around two in the morning, things began to slow down. Quite a few people had already left. Lily was sitting with Amos on a small armchair clearly meant for one person. She had her head on his broad shoulder, staring dazed at the patterned ceiling.  
One moment she was telling Amos that she'd had a lovely time dancing with him, and that she'd better go, the next he was kissing her.  
He'd turned his head suddenly, and crashed his lips onto hers.  
Lily vaguely remembered putting her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. Her legs resting on his as she played with the back of his hair, which was very short…not much to do really.  
"L-lil…Amos…w-what?"

The couple broke apart. Hestia was standing at the door with her and Lily's coats. She could see Alice and Marlene behind her with shocked faces.  
Hestia's was the worst though. She looked so betrayed and hurt.  
The fact that Amos didn't really understand what exactly was wrong didn't help.  
"Hello Hestia." He said casually, smiling in a friendly way.  
Hestia dropped Lily's coat to the floor.  
"You can find your own bloody way home." Her voice was empty, but Lily could see the unshed tears in her eyes. She pushed past Alice and Marlene. Lily jumped up. "Hestia…wait I-"  
"Save it Lily." Alice said. She was frowning.  
"I really can't believe you'd do something like that, Lily." Marlene said, looking disappointed.  
They turned around and left without another word. Lily stared after them but found she had no more tears to cry.  
Instead she turned back to Amos, and did the worst possible thing.  
"Where were we?" She said.


	19. Rock bottom, apparently

**AN:/So I had planned to write a couple of chapters yesterday, but AVPSY happened and I was kind of preoccupied with reblogging everything on Tumblr and fangirling. I laughed, I cried...what can I say, it was totally awesome!:D Brian's Hagrid was just beautiful3  
****If you haven't heard of Team Starkid, LOOK THEM UP NOW!  
****Hope you enjoy this chapter:)x**

James was infuriated.

Melinda just _had_ to stick her arse in when he was certain Lily was about to tell him something important.  
"Jeez, she really does stalk you." Melinda said as she puffed her hair up. "What a freak!"  
James held his breath. If this girl said anything more he wouldn't be able to hold in his anger. He was unbelievably _pissed _off.  
"What is she wearing?" Melinda continued. "Proper disgusting."  
James glared, though she didn't see in the dark.  
"I think she looks really nice." James said.  
Melinda scoffed. "You don't have to say that James, I won't tell her."  
"No, she's the prettiest girl at this party tonight."  
James enjoyed hearing Melinda's sharp intake of breath.  
"Now, James. That's ridiculous!"  
"What? Who do you think is?"  
"…Well, I spent a lot of money on this dress and-"  
"Are you seriously going to say _you_ are?" James raised an eyebrow.  
"I know I'm arrogant but that's just down right idiotic!"

Melinda stood up abruptly. "What the hell James! Are you saying I'm ugly?"  
James looked up. He could see the wide whites of her eyes.  
"No," He said. "I think you look alright and all."  
"But not prettier than Evans?" Her voice seemed dangerously high pitched.  
James regretted the words the minute he'd said them.  
"No one's prettier than Evans."  
There was a brief pause, and then James felt a burst of pain as the end of a stiletto stabbed into his calf.  
"Merlin woman!" James shouted, standing up and jumping on one leg.  
"Not exactly where I was aiming." Melinda said sweetly, before stomping away into the darkness.

"Bloody girls." James muttered as he approached the house. "Can't stand them sometimes."  
"Whoa Prongs!" Sirius appeared out of nowhere, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Hope you don't mean that...on second thoughts, you and Wormy can go out! It'd make him so happy!"  
James shuddered. "No no, I definitely didn't mean it."  
Sirius barked a loud laugh.  
"What are you doing out here Padfoot?"  
"Ah, McKinnon and I were having some fun." He smirked.  
"But she just had to head in, I think the girls are leaving now."  
James frowned. He wanted to try and see Lily again!  
"And you?"  
Sirius said, winking.  
"Lets just say the only part of me that got any action tonight was the bottom half of my leg…Melinda stabbed me with her bloody shoes." He winced slightly.  
"Prooooongs!" Sirius laughed. "What'd you do now?"  
"Nothing! She just overreacted! I even said she was alright looking!"  
Sirius sniggered.  
"Alright, I might have said Lily was the prettiest girl at the party…"  
"You my friend are an arse."  
James punched Sirius in the shoulder. "Just come on, and get off me…you smell like wet dog and alcohol."

James and Sirius walked into the kitchen through the back door, glad to be back in the heat. "Where's Moony and Wormtail?" James asked.  
"Merlin knows. Probably off snogging eachother."  
James laughed. "Well we need to find them…I don't want to be in this house anymore, If Melinda finds me I'm screwed."  
The kitchen was empty; the alcohol table was littered with empty bottles and cups.  
"Most people are already gone." James pressed on. "Let's check the rooms."

They walked in and out of different rooms. Eventually, in a ballroom mostly empty except for a few happy couples, they found Remus in the corner with a girl.  
"Oooooh!" Sirius whispered in James' ear. "Watch this." Sirius bounded towards the couple.  
"Moony!" He shouted. "...Moony what are you doing?" He reached them and James saw Remus was glaring. The mystery girl looked slightly scared.  
"How could you?" Sirius fell to his knees at Remus's feet.  
"Padfoot don't-" Remus warned.  
"But I love you Moony! I thought we had something something _special!"_  
Remus kicked Sirius in the face.

James burst out laughing as Sirius howled, clutching his nose. Remus said sorry to the girl, looking embarrassed. She lifted her head and kissed his cheek, before giggling and running away.  
Grinning, the smaller boy walked towards James.  
"Woooo Moony!" James smirked. "Who's she?"  
Remus reddened, "Sara McDonald. She's a fifth year Ravenclaw…" He trailed off.  
Sirius, who was throwing a tantrum, interrupted their conversation.  
"MOONY!" He was bawling his eyes out, face contorted. "If you've messed up my beautiful looks I'll murder you!"  
"Sirius," James said. "Get up. I need to find Lily. You can kill Remus later."  
Sirius stood up, clutching his nose.  
"I'm…I'm bleeding!" Sirius wiped his clear nose.  
"You are not bleeding."  
"I am!"  
"Oh, so is your blood invisible now? Please, do tell me how you managed that."  
"Oh shut _up _Moony. You're the reason I'm going to have to get my nose removed."

James and Remus looked at each other, used to Sirius's ridiculous rants.  
"Where's Pete?" James asked Remus, who shrugged. "Haven't seen him all night."  
James groaned. "Do we really have to find him? I just want to talk to Lily then leave."  
Remus looked up. "Lily? She came to me looking for you earlier. Did she find you?"  
James nodded. "Yeah, and I think she was about to say she doesn't hate me anymore when Melinda came."  
Remus was about to reply when Sirius screeched yet again.  
"STOP IGNORING ME!" He shouted. "This is serious!"  
He snapped out of his agonized state for a moment, smirking. "Pun intended."

James groaned.  
"Can we go now, please?"

After some persuasion (actually _a lot _of persuasion) Sirius agreed to leave the room with them.  
"I'm gonna cut off all of your hair when you're sleeping." Sirius said happily to Remus.  
"Yeah, and I'll go all werewolf on your arse, see how you like that." Remus grinned back as Sirius stuck his tongue out.  
James walked a few paces ahead, searching for their pudgy friend.  
A couple of tired looking girls were heading to the front door.  
He caught up with them. "Excuse me? Have you seen Peter Pettigrew?"  
"Who?" One of them asked.  
"Y'know, fourth marauder, short, slightly on the rounder side? Fond of a cheesecake or two?"  
The other nodded. "Oh yeah, um…I think I saw him leaving earlier?"  
James turned back to his friends. "You hear that? Did he tell either of you?"  
They both shook their heads.  
"Oh well, thanks anyway."  
The girls walked away and left through the door.  
"There's just this room to check for Lily." James said, indicating to the door on their right.  
"She's probably left by now…I might have caught her if you hadn't been such a twat." James gestured to Sirius, who pouted.

James opened the door slowly, and as the contents came into view, he sucked in a breath.  
"Prongs?" Sirius said. "What's wrong?"  
James shut the door and stumbled back, shaking his head.  
"I'll be outside…w-waiting for you two." James looked like he was about to throw up as he ran to the front door. After he'd disappeared from view, Remus looked over as the door.  
"Merlin, what can be going on in there?"  
"Let's find out!" Sirius smirked. "I love embarrassing people like this. Makes me wanna be a prefect."  
He reached out a hand, but just as he was about to grab it, it opened, and Lily stepped out. She looked rather dishevelled and there were tears running down her face.  
"Evans? What's wrong?" Sirius said.  
Lily shook her head rapidly.  
"I-I'm s-sorry…" She gasped before exiting the front door, running swiftly.  
Remus looked over at Sirius.  
"What was that about?"

To answer his question, Amos Diggory walked out of the room, looking angry.  
"She just bloody left! I had to spend all night listening to her rant on about god knows what and _finally _I was getting some, then after your mate walked in she started crying!" He pushed past Sirius.  
"She's so bloody boring…but I reckoned she'd be a good kisser, well, I was wrong!"  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Careful Amos, Lily's a friend of mine."  
Amos laughed.  
"Oh yeah, you're just as boring as her. In fact, did you know there are some _rumours _floating around about you."  
Remus's eyes widened with fear.  
"Some people reckon it's quite strange you always get ill at the same time every month."  
He grinned knowingly as Remus whitened.  
"You shouldn't even be allowed outside if you are one of-"  
BANG.  
Sirius punched Amos hard on the nose.  
"Ow! Black, what the hell was that for?"  
"No one talks about my friends like that. Say anything more and I might just forget about the age restriction on magic outside of Hogwarts."  
Amos scoffed, but knew better than to talk again. He smirked and walked away.  
"Stupid git." Sirius was muttering as he nursed his hand.

Remus smiled at Sirius. "Mate, you didn't have to do that!" He felt his eyes begin to water and he couldn't help but throw his arms around his friend. Sirius patted his back awkwardly.  
"Er…Moony…I know this is a nice moment and all…but it starts getting weird after about three seconds."  
Remus let go of Sirius and smiled. "C'mon. Lets find James."

* * *

Lily put her head in her hands. She was sat on the wet grass just outside of Melinda's gates, with no clue on how she was going to get home. After James had walked in and she'd seen the look on his face, Lily broke down. Right in front of Amos, who had looked quite annoyed.  
Next, after she'd left the house, of course she just had to trip herself on James, who was sitting on the front steps.  
"Oh god, James…James I'm so sorry!" She'd said, but James had just turned away from her. "I'm sorry." She'd whispered softly, before walking away. Lily hoped he realised the hidden meaning. She was sorry for him having to see her and Amos.

Now, she really thought she'd hit rock bottom. Hestia, Marlene and Alice had left without her and were surely not talking to her. She'd royally screwed things up with James. And she was sat on the ground freezing her arse off at 4 in the morning.  
Lily wrapped her arms around her waist, hating the thin dress more than ever. One of her heels had snapped when she'd been running, so Lily took them off. She honestly didn't care.  
"Lily?" She heard a voice. "What're you doing down there?"  
Lily groaned. Oh bloody hell, on top of everything…  
"None of your business, Snape."  
Severus stared down at her. Slowly, hesitantly, he held out a hand.  
Lily looked up. He was smiling a little, and his hand was shaking.  
She took his hand and stood up, abruptly letting go.  
"Do you want me to take you home?"  
Lily crossed her arms and bit her lip. On the one hand, it was Severus Snape; Marlene would say that he was going to kidnap her.  
On the other…Merlin she really wanted to go to bed.  
"Fine." She said.

* * *

Sirius and Remus found James on the steps. He had his head in his hands.  
Remus frowned at Sirius as they approached. They sat down on either side of James.  
"James?" Remus said quietly. "Are you okay?"  
James lifted his head up. He slowly shook his head.  
"I just, I thought she liked me. Earlier, it seemed like that. I guess not…"  
Sirius patted his friend on the shoulder.  
"It's alright mate. Plenty of fish in the sea!"  
"Yeah," Remus consoled. "You don't need her…you should try and move on."  
James sighed and pushed his hair back.  
"I know, but I don't think I can."


	20. Selfish

**AN:/I know, I know, I haven't updated in days. Sorrrrrry! But my internet hasn't been working:( Not a very long chapter I'm afraid as I wrote it quickly to get one up! But I get off for Easter on Tuesday, so the daily updates shall return! Promise!:D **

Lily felt pretty depressed. She really didn't know what to do.

None of her friends were talking to her and she'd royally screwed things up with James. She'd made an enemy of Melinda, who would most certainly spread horrible things about her when they returned to school. Vernon Dursley was making a habit of staying in her house everyday, and she was slowly going insane with all of his rants about bloody drills.  
Amos Diggory kept sending her letters, and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing.  
But she found herself replying, seeing as she had no one else to talk to.  
Though with each sent letter, Lily did notice the increasing amount of flirtation going on. She didn't like him like she liked James, but he was nice to talk to.  
Their letters were daily, hourly even.

_Alright Ginger?  
Want to meet up today?  
You could come to mines.  
Amos x_

When this particular letter came through her window, Lily had two problems. She absolutely _hated _people calling her Ginger. Secondly, meet up?  
They hardly knew each other. The first time she'd actually talked to him had been at the party and that certainly hadn't gone very well.

After some deliberating, Lily decided she wasn't going to be doing anything else for the rest of the summer, and if she stayed in her house for extended periods of time she would certainly go mad.

So she wrote back, telling Amos she would love to.

* * *

James rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Sirius was sitting on the table, clearly getting more and more frustrated with his friends lack of fun.  
"Come on Prongs, you're killing me here!"  
James glared.  
"You don't understand Sirius."  
"I understand that you're being a teary arsehole yet again, because of Evans!"  
"Just shut up Padfoot! I'm having proper issues right now."  
Sirius rolled his eyes.  
"What? Because some girl who never even liked you, snogs some boy at a party? Big deal!"  
James pushed his hair back and turned on his side to face Sirius.  
"But I thought that-"  
"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You thought she actually liked you. Haven't you told me this about 100 times already? She doesn't like you, James! And has made that very clear over the years I might add."

James sighed. He knew his friend was right, but he just didn't want to accept it.  
"Maybe I should send her a letter?"  
"Prongs, you are such a girl."  
"What! I should talk to her!"  
"You are so clueless mate. I really don't know where all these girls get the idea that you're some bloody Quidditch hero heartthrob. 'Cause we all know that's not true."  
James closed his eyes. Sirius was irritating him now.  
When he opened them, Sirius was rubbing his hands together.  
"Bloody git that Amos is. I just had to punch him. He has a hard nose, I can tell you now."  
He paused. "It never hurt like this when I punched Peter in third year."  
Sirius smirked. "But I suppose Wormy's face would have a lot more padding than Amos."  
He stopped, waiting for James's laugh or even reply, but James was back to staring at the ceiling.

Sirius groaned.  
"Why are you acting like this? Snap the hell out of it! If you're going to be like this all summer I'd sooner move back in with my darling mother."  
James put his hands under his pillow.  
"Sirius! Just stop, okay? Leave me alone. I just need a while to get over this!"  
_Get over her_…he thought.  
"I don't see why I should! Prongs, you're being completely ridiculous!"  
"You don't get it! You've never had this feeling before!" James shouted, sitting upright.  
"What feeling?" Sirius said, his voice increasing too.  
"That I'm in _love with her!" _The statement shocked him. He'd never really thought about it much before, but he supposed it was true. He continued.  
"Proper, grown up love, Padfoot. And you'll never understand that."  
Sirius laughed.  
"We're sixteen James! You're acting like an idiot. We're too young."  
"I've found her Sirius. Okay? I've found the one for me."

"Merlin James! You just need to-"  
"Don't bloody tell me to go out and get smashed, snog a few girls. Because that doesn't make everything better."  
"It works for me." Sirius muttered.  
"I know you, Sirius. Better than anyone. I know you're a womanizer. You'll probably never fall in love. You'll never get married, have a family, because that's not who you are!"  
Sirius stood up, his face reddening.  
"You don't know anything." He said. "Not a bloody thing."  
James scoffed. "What? Think getting with Marlene McKinnon every so often makes you an expert? She uses you. And you use her. It's how these things work."  
"Stop it James!" Sirius said, backing into James's desk. "Stop telling me what I am!"

James breathed out deeply.  
"Look." He said slowly. "I won't start a fight with you. Maybe you should stay with Remus for a few days, until I've sorted myself out."  
Sirius stared.  
"You're unbelievable, y'know that?"  
"What!" James exclaimed.  
Sirius shook his head. "You don't even know? Too consumed with your own petty problems to think about anyone else?"  
James blinked, confused.  
"Let me just tell you then." Sirius turned to the door. "Full moon tonight."

Sirius left the room and James sat down again, feeling rubbish.  
How could he forget? His best friend was about to go through a horrific transformation, and all he could think about was a girl. Sirius was right.  
He _was _self-consumed.

James jumped up and left the room. "Sirius! Sirius, wait!"  
He shouted, running down the stairs. "I'm sorry, okay!"  
Sirius was putting his jacket on. "Listen Prongs, I know you're upset about Evans and all…but there _are_ more important things."  
Sirius shrugged and moved to the door.  
"Where are you going?"  
"Remus's. Pete is already there…"  
"Well I'll come too then-"  
"No!" Sirius interrupted. "You, stay here. Just…come later on if you want. To be honest mate, I don't want to talk to you right now."  
James stared at his best friend. "Alright." He nodded slowly and turned around.  
The door slammed and James looked back. He sighed.

James was now home alone. His parents were at the ministry.  
His footsteps echoed through the Potter's large house as he made himself a cup of tea.  
It was 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and he wasn't going to go to Remus's until 10, so James had a lot of time to kill. He stirred the tea with his finger and stared at the wall. Utterly bored.  
He remembered this time last summer, when the marauders had all gone to France with his parents. How Peter had attempted to get a tan and had returned from the beach looking very sunburnt and _very _pissed off. How two pretty girls turned Sirius down and left him looking sheepish, as their boyfriends shouted at him in rapid French. James smiled slightly at the memory, but after thinking about how badly things had changed since, frowned.

It seemed to him that the marauders were falling apart. Sirius wasn't his usual self, and James himself knew that he hadn't exactly been a bundle of joy lately. Even Remus was concentrating more on his prefect duties and studies, he rarely joined in on one of their pranks anymore. The only person who had loyally stayed by his side through thick and thin was Peter, though, when he thought on it, he _had_ been acting differently.  
He left the party without even telling them, and when asked, had simply said he hadn't been feeling well. James personally didn't believe that, but he had let the smaller boy away with it.

Sure, they were going through a rough patch, but weren't they stronger than that?  
James hoped so.  
Without the marauders…James would be nothing; just another faceless pupil in the crowd. James shook his head.  
_What was he talking about?  
_"Wise up James." He spoke to the empty house. "You're acting ridiculous. The marauders rule the school! You'll be known for years to come, Hogwarts number one pranksters!"  
He continued to give himself the pep talk, the back of his mind commenting on how bloody insane he was acting.

* * *

Amos picked her up at 3 o'clock, and now Lily was sitting awkwardly on the corner of his bed.  
The boy in front of her was twirling his wand between his fingers, occasional sparks flying out of the end. Lily had forgotten that Amos was of age, but he was a seventh year now; he could even apparate.  
"Your house is really nice, Amos." Lily said weakly. Amos looked up.  
"Yeah, we've only lived in it about a year…Dad had some trouble with bad wizards a couple years back, and we had to move, for our own safety."  
Lily nodded. "Right." She tried to think of something to say but it turned out conversing with this boy was a little harder when you weren't drunk off your head.  
"Anyone from Hogwarts live near here?" She asked.  
"Well, there's Mary MacDonald, Emmeline Vance and…oh yeah, Lupin."  
Lily smiled. "Remus lives near you?"  
"Yeah, right across the street actually." He was frowning.  
"What, don't like the marauders?" Lily said.  
"I never really talked to them much before the party, but Sirius punched me…and Lupin; I'm pretty sure there's something off about him."

Lily looked down in her lap. She'd known that Remus was a werewolf ever since third year when they'd become good friends, but could Amos possibly suspect something?  
"What do you mean?" She asked stiffly.  
"Just rumours flying around about him."  
"From who?"  
Amos looked at her. "What's it to you?" His voice sounded frustrated. He paused. "I mean," He said quieter. "Do you know something?"  
Lily shook her head fast, too fast. "No, no…"  
The silence bared down on them once more. Lily gazed out the window, wondering why they weren't outside; the sun was blazing which was extremely rare.  
"Can we sit outside?" She finally asked.  
"Yeah, sure." Amos said, getting up and heading to the door. Lily rolled her eyes, asking herself why exactly she had agreed to come.

* * *

Remus Lupin didn't feel too good.  
The time had come again; the worst day of the month, full moon. As he lay on the sofa by the window, breathing shallowly, he wondered for the thousandth time why he had to be the werewolf. Why was he the one who had to go through the agony, the horror…the embarrassment? Why not James, or Sirius? Rage fired through him and Remus clenched his fists. He knew that he didn't really think that; it was the wolf, already twisting his feelings.  
He always felt angry before a transformation; it was all a part of it.  
Another part was the illness, the feeling of utter death that passed over him. Like he couldn't move his arms or legs. At this late stage now, he could barely move his head. Sirius and Peter were stood at the door; he could feel their eyes, watching him, pitying him.  
And he _hated _it.

"Alright Moony?" Sirius said." Remus lifted his chin slightly. "Same as ever."  
He heard his friends sit down on the sofa opposite, talking softly.  
"What was that?" Remus asked.  
"Oh, James and I had a slight tiff, that's all."  
"What? You two never fight!"  
Sirius clapped his hands together. "Well, he's acting like an idiot. He deserves all he gets."  
Not having the energy to reply as another tide of pain crashed through his head, Remus stared out of the window, blinking slowly.

The front door to Amos Diggory's house was opening, Remus registered. He watched as Amos walked out and sat beneath a tree. What he saw next nearly made him sit up. Nearly.  
Lily had just closed the door behind her, and was now heading to sit beside Amos.  
_What the hell?  
_"Sirius? Pete?" Remus said quietly. "Look at this!"  
_  
_


	21. Saved by a stag

**AN:/ A lot happening in this chapter! Hope you like it :)  
****Also...1 review away from 100! That's so amazing:3 Thank you all so much!**

Remus lifted his head slightly, to get a better view of the unfolding scene before him. Sirius and Peter were sitting on the arm of his sofa, peering out of the window.  
"That asshole!" Sirius said. "He hates Lily; what's she doing at his house?"  
Peter's beady eyes were fixated on the couple. "Should we tell Prongs?"  
Sirius scoffed. "No way! He's bad enough as it is!"  
"But-" Peter was cut of by Sirius.  
"Listen, Pete. You don't have to live with him all of the time. And at the minute, he's unbearable."  
Peter nodded, returning his eyes to Lily and Amos.

Remus just heard fragments of his friend's conversation. Another burst of pain split through his head and spread through his body. He felt his legs go rigid. Frowing slightly, Remus opened his eyes. Was this happening too fast?  
Faster than usual?  
He saw the clock out of the corner of his eye. It was 6pm.  
Sirius was looking down at him.  
"Moony? Alright there?"  
His friend placed a cold hand onto Remus's shoulder.  
"I don't know." Remus shuddered. "Is…Is there any sign of the moon up?"  
Sirius stood up and peered out of the window, bypassing Lily and Amos to look up. Sure enough, in the cloudless sky, the moon could be seen, though faint.  
"Well yeah…is that bad?"  
Remus swore under his breath. "I don't know. There isn't any clouds today…normally that keeps the moon hidden from full view for a while…"  
Another pang hit him, right between the eyes. Remus let out a moan.

"G-Get me to the basement n-now!" Remus shouted, his body shaking.  
"Wormy, get his legs!"  
The two boys hefted their friend down the stairs. "No time to get to the forest Remus." Sirius said, talking about the vast forest that they usually used for Remus's transformations when they weren't at Hogwarts.  
Remus shook his head, "I know…" He could feel sweat dripping down his forehead.  
"I think I'll be alright for a few hours…j-just, hurts." He clenched his hands and squeezed his eyes closed. He didn't want to see Sirius's pity, or Peter's fright.  
"Look, go upstairs. I'll be fine here. It doesn't hurt that bad anyway."  
"But Moony-"  
"No Sirius, I'm fine."  
He kept his eyes shut as his friend retreated upstairs.  
Oh, the lies. He wasn't fine at all.  
Infact, he was feeling quite the opposite.

* * *

Lily laid her head on the grass, staring up at the unusually clear sky.  
"Such a beautiful day." She murmured, yearning for a good book to settle down with.  
"Yeah." Amos said. He sounded preoccupied.  
Lily lifted her head up. "What is it?"  
He shook his head. "Oh, nothing. I just noticed the front curtains closing at the Lupin's house, weird."  
"Not really." Lily persisted. "Maybe the sun was shining in."  
Amos breathed deeply and started picking at blades of grass.

"Do you like me, Lily?" Amos said suddenly. Lily blinked, confused.  
"Yeah, sure I do…I don't _know_ you too well to be honest."  
"But that could change right?" He said, smiling playfully at her.  
Lily bit her lip. "I guess…" She hesitated.

Amos reached out hastily and grabbed her hand. Lily looked down, shocked.  
Did she want this? What about James?  
Lily pushed that thought from her mind. Anything with James was out of the question, she knew that, and Amos _was_ good looking, there was no denying it.

But he had the personality of a particularly illiterate flobberworm.

Sighing, Lily let her hand remain in his. She set her head back onto the grass oncemore, but Amos caught her by the neck and placed her head on his lap, a hand twirling with her hair. She smiled slightly; this was actually quite nice. And she was sure she could get used to it.

* * *

Sirius paced the floor of Remus Lupin's living room. Peter was crouched anxiously on the armchair. He flinched as he heard a loud, throaty cough from below their feet.  
They had never had a full moon like this before.  
Never.  
Who knew when Remus could transform, and without James, it would be a struggle to keep him under control. As a stag, James was the only one bigger than the wolf, and he usually kept Remus from hurting himself or others.  
"Should we get Prongs?" Peter said. Sirius looked over, the smaller boy was twitching nervously.  
Sirius sighed. Peter, as a rat, wasn't the most useful when dealing with a monstrous werewolf. Sure, when they were at Hogwarts he could scamper ahead and freeze the willow, but right now, all the whimpering boy was doing was adding to his growing list of problems. He headed to the window and saw Lily and Amos still by the tree. Amos whipped his head around, as if he could feel Sirius's eyes on them.

Swearing, Sirius slammed the curtains shut. The room darkened, only adding to the sombre mood in the house. A muffled moan sounded from the basement and Sirius looked over to Peter.  
"Okay, now we get James."

* * *

James rushed to Sirius's the moment he'd received the scribbled note from Peter. He didn't even close the front door, but didn't give it too much thought.  
Remus was unbelievably ill.  
He blasted through the front door, blundering into the front room of Remus's house.  
"Where is he? How is he? What it it?" James said, out of breath. Sirius and Peter were sat on the sofa, an untouched lunch of pizza placed between them. That's how James knew things were badly wrong; Peter and Sirius could easily eat 5 pizzas between them in one sitting usually.  
"He's downstairs." Sirius said, refusing to meet James's eyes.  
"I'm going to see him."  
Sirius jumped up. "No! You can't!" Peter put a hand to his forehead.  
"Why?"

"Because James…it's already started."  
James looked down at his watch and gulped; it was only 9 o'clock.

* * *

Lily dozed off. Amos, she found out, was rather skilled with massages. He was soothingly rubbing her head and it was brilliant. She could feel the evening sun, still slightly warming her face.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lily's eyes burst open. That sound…it sounded like someone was in agony. She sat up, and Amos jumped to his feet.  
"That came from Lupin's house!"  
Lily gasped. Could it be?  
She looked up- yep. There, in the middle of the sky was the full moon, shining bright and clear as day.  
"Nah…" Lily said, breathing fast. "I'm sure it didn't."  
But Amos was already leaving his garden, and crossing the road to the house opposite.  
"Amos! Don't go over there!"  
He waved a hand at her and continued walking. Muttering swear words, she followed.

Amos pressed an ear to the front door.  
"C'mon, please can we leave?" Lily begged. The boy glared at her and raised a hand to his lips.  
"NO NO NO NO NOOOOO!"  
Lily flinched; there was no denying it. The ear splitting screaming was indeed coming from inside.  
Amos turned around to Lily. "What the bloody hell was that? Didn't sound human!" His face was incredibly white.  
"I think we should leave…" Lily whispered. The air suddenly felt cold, and she shivered.  
Amos shook his head. "No way!" He crept around the side of the house, and Lily had no choice to follow him.

There was a backdoor, and the screaming could be heard much more clearly now. Lily felt like crying; she, unlike Amos, knew who was screaming. Remus Lupin, the quiet, reserved boy that she called her friend, was in immense pain and there was nothing she could do.  
Amos placed a hand on the door handle. "It's open." He said quietly. "I reckon we should go in."  
Lily gasped. "Are you insane?"  
"What!" Amos said. "Not like there will be anything dangerous in there. I have my wand, remember?"  
Amos pushed the door open and took a step in. Lily jumped forward and grabbed his wrist. "Please…don't."  
"You're not telling me what to do." He said coldly. "Either come with me, or don't."

Amos entered the door, which lead into a kitchen. Lily stood helplessly outside, wondering what to do. She couldn't leave Amos to see a fully transformed werewolf, but she could hardly tell the boy the reason she didn't want him to enter. Lily stepped into the house, and closed the door quietly behind her. Amos was standing in front of a trap door.  
"It's coming from down there…" He said looking worried again.

Slowly, Amos dropped to his knees, and felt the wood floor. He grabbed hold of the metal ring that opened the door.  
Lily stepped backwards on impulse as Amos lifted the opening up. The wood creaked and she winced; surely the werewolf below would hear them!

Without turning around to face her, Amos descended into the darkness. Lily stumbled forward.  
"Amos! Please, don't go down there!" Lily felt tears spring up in her eyes as the boy ignored her. She followed him, feeling sick.  
She saw Amos reach the bottom. He screamed, and fell back a few steps. Lily rushed down the last two, and past him, to see the room in front of her.  
Dimly, she registered that a 7-foot tall wolf was baring its teeth at her, but more importantly, she saw a stag. How strange.

It was staring at her, a sort of confusion flashing in its strange eyes. There was a silence where only the panting of the wolf could be heard. Then, without warning, the monster let out a high wail, and sprinted at her. Lily was paralyzed with fear.  
Just when she thought the werewolf was about to make impact, the towering stag blocked her. The wolf snarled and bit into the stag's leg, but it was distracted for the moment. Lily saw this as a chance. She grabbed Amos and pulled him up, before bounding up the stairs.

She didn't pause for breath until they were safely locked into Amos Diggory's house.


	22. To keep the secret

**AN:/ *pops party popper* Woop! 104 reviews! That's a crazy amount for me! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!:D  
Shortish chapter, but I'll put another one up later today.  
Enjoy:)  
**

Lily fell back onto the sofa, gasping for breath. She didn't do any sports, and never exercised; boy was that taking a toll on her now. Amos wasn't out of breath, though his cheeks were flushed with red. He sat on the mantle and brought his knees up to his chest.  
A silence fell upon them.  
It took Lily about five minutes to regain her composure, and about that long for Amos to restore himself to his confident self.  
"It was him." He said slowly, darkly. "That…that _thing _down there. It was Lupin."  
Lily's breathing hitched. "Don't be…don't be ridiculous." She knew it was no good; Amos was not a fool. It was blindingly obvious.  
"I know it. The slytherins, they've told me but I didn't believe them…but it's true. Remus Lupin is a werewolf." He sounded mortified, disgusted.

Lily felt tears run down her cheeks. "Please, Amos…" She said quietly.  
"There's a monster living next to me! It could kill my family!"  
"He…not it." Lily said.  
Amos raised his eyebrows. "It tried to kill you, Lily!"  
Lily shuddered. Everything had happened so fast. She'd known about her friend's lycanthropy for years, yet she'd never truly paused to think about _the wolf; _the transformations, the night of terror…if he'd ever…bitten someone.  
Lily had always greeted Remus after he'd recovered, smiling sympathetically as if she understood what he'd gone through. But now, now that she'd seen the wolf, been at it's terrifying mercy, she wasn't sure how she and Remus would be the same again.

All the while, Amos was muttering. "Imagine Dumbledore letting that in Hogwarts! We're all in danger! I ought to tell the ministry about this…have him expelled, no exterminated."  
At this, Lily widened her eyes.  
What had she been thinking?  
Remus was her friend; a prefect, smart, loyal…an amazing person.  
Sure, he had a problem, but didn't everyone? Remus's was just a little more extreme, but that was it. Everyone had secrets, Merlin knows she had her own to deal with.  
"Think straight, Amos." Lily said. "Remus Lupin, he has an illness. That is all."  
Amos scoffed. "Rubbish Lily! Werewolves are a danger to our society; bloodthirsty, unfeeling monsters."  
Lily stood up. "You're wrong!"  
Amos closed his eyes, and Lily could see his mouth moving slowly, with no words coming out. After 10 seconds of quiet, Amos opened them. There was a heated fury behind the calm, just waiting to explode, and Lily knew it.

"Please." Lily said, her whole body shaking. "Amos, don't tell anyone…I'll do anything you want."  
The boy in front of her stared hardly into her eyes, all previous softness absent.  
"Anything?"  
It scared Lily slightly how he sounded, slightly maniacal and very angry. She suddenly realised that it was late at night; she was very much alone in a dark house with him.  
"I should go," Lily said. "My parents will be worried-"  
Amos grabbed her hard by the wrists. "You don't want me to tell anyone Lupin's secret?" His mouth was close to her ear. "Then I want you to be my girlfriend. When we go to Hogwarts, you'll do whatever I want you to." He put his cold hand under Lily's chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Understand?"  
Lily nodded rapidly. His tight grip was hurting her. "Yes." She said. She knew the enormity that had just been placed on her shoulders. The life of Remus Lupin lay in the balance, and she was the only one who could prevent it from being destroyed. She would have to co-operate.  
"And don't talk to any of the marauders. I don't like them, so you shouldn't either."  
Lily half wanted to laugh at him; he was acting insane. But she knew how strong he was, what he could do if he really wanted to.  
"This is blackmail." She uttered quietly. Amos tightened his grip on her face, pulling her closer.  
"Is it?" He grinned. "Lovely."  
His breath fluttered over her cheeks. Lily kept her hands by her side. Slowly, Amos leant down and kissed her. She stayed still, but Amos pushed her closer to him, his fingers nipping her neck painfully. Lily brought her arms up to his broad shoulders and waited for it to be over.

Lily cried the whole way home. She was taking the night bus, and her head was against the window, breath frosting the glass slightly. How had she not seen it before? Amos was an extremely good actor. But Lily knew the real reason he wanted her to be his girlfriend; to get back at The Marauders. He knew that telling everyone about Remus was too risky; some may not believe him, and Sirius would more than likely murder him.  
And here she was, Lily Evans, the long known subject of James Potter's affections. What a better way to hurt him?

After leaving the vehicle, Lily walked up to her front door. The lights were still on, and Lily was reminded that it must of only of been about 10 o'clock. She opened the door and was immediately engulfed in a warm hug.  
"Where have you been?" Mrs Evans said into her daughters shoulder. "We came back and you weren't there; it's been hours and you didn't leave a note!"  
Lily nodded shakily.  
"Sorry mum…" She said. The words sounded wrong, like someone else was saying them for her. "I was at my boyfriend's house."

* * *

James Potter stumbled back onto the spare bed, feeling drained. Tonight had been catastrophic. A deep gash on his leg was bleeding onto the sheets, where the wolf had caught him. But he felt no pain. All he could think about was Lily.  
Why had she been there? It confused him to no end. When he'd seen her through Prongs' eyes, he'd not known what to do. Her hair had been blustered and mussed up. Tears had been falling down her face, and James had felt a little part of his heartbreak. When Moony had pounced, James forgot all of the danger; he'd just known he had to save Lily.  
Now, as the wound continued to bleed buckets, a creeping worry entered his thoughts. None of them had ever been directly bit before, perhaps scratched but that was it. Did it count if he was in his Stag form? Or had Remus Lupin just transferred his lycanthropy over to his best friend?  
James shivered.  
He guessed he would find out next month.


	23. On the platform

**AN:/ So sorry about the wait! I was on holiday and just got back a few hours ago. I'm not doing anything tomorrow so expect a couple of chapters..that's a promise!XD  
****Enjoy:)**

"Rise and Shine Lily!"

Lily's eyes burst open. Her mother was pulling the curtains, revealing a stormy blue covering the sky. Mr Evans and Petunia were standing over her bed, one grinning, and the other looking like they'd been sentenced to death…you can guess who was who.  
"What is this?" Lily moaned. "A bloody family meeting?"  
"1st of September Lily!" Her dad beamed.  
"Hogwarts!"  
Lily closed her eyes and swore under her breath.  
This was it; the day she'd been dreading. Today she would have to face the dreadful consequences of the happenings over the summer. The girls still weren't talking to her and she hadn't received any letters from the marauders. She'd not even seen Severus since the night he had taken her home.

In fact, her only confident at the moment was Amos Diggory…her boyfriend. Lily shivered slightly despite the warmth of her bedroom.  
"Everything alright?" Lily's mum asked, placing a hand on her forehead. "Not feeling sick, are you?"  
Lily shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I'll get ready now."  
Mr and Mrs Evans nodded, Petunia glared.  
Lily raised her hands. "Get out?"  
"Oh, of course honey," Lily's mother gushed. "We'll be downstairs, breakfast is ready!"

Her family departed from her room, leaving Lily with her thoughts. What the bloody hell was she going to do?

Lily got dressed quickly but took her time doing her hair and applying more make up than usual. What with the lack of contact during the summer, she'd taken to walking every morning with her mother, and Lily supposed the softness on her stomach and thighs had disappeared. She'd let her hair grow longer than it had ever been. It now reached just to her hips.  
"Come on Lily, you'll be late!"  
Her father's voice sounded from downstairs and she looked at her watch; it was later than she had thought. Only half an hour to get to the train!  
Lily closed up her trunk and scooted across to the door. She looked around her room quickly before heading downstairs.

* * *

"This is it, my dear friends." Sirius shouted gleefully, his arms slung around Peter and James's shoulders. They were stood just beyond the barrier that marked Platform 9 and ¾, feeling the familiar tingle of excitement at returning to school. "Hogwarts here we come!"  
James rolled his eyes. "Padfoot you idiot."  
Her grinned though, and Sirius laughed.  
Their feud had burned itself out after the night of the full moon; they'd never been able to stay angry at each other for very long.

Remus was across the room, checking on his trunk yet again. He was doing this on purpose, James knew.  
When he had arrived in his friend's bedroom on crutches the morning after the full moon, Remus had been distraught, frantic about the state of James's health.  
Although they'd reassured him, Remus was acting differently.  
He was distant, trying his best to exclude himself from all activities. James felt horrible about it too, he hated not being able to comfortably speak to the boy and there was an awkward sort of tension about the whole situation.

"Let us venture aboard the mighty Hogwarts Express!" Sirius bounded forward, knocking into more than a few students and parents. Peter hurried along behind, and James was about to follow when a bit of hair flew up at him and caught itself in his glasses. James turned around, looking at the strand. His eyes led him up to the owner and…  
"Oh my merlin…" Said James, he was staring open mouthed into the eyes of Lily Evans.  
Lily Evans, who was no longer ridiculously shorter than him, not even reaching the middle of his shoulder, but a good difference of height; she now reached his chin.  
Lily, whose red hair was shining and flowing around her face, all except for the part caught in the leg of his glasses.  
"Sorry James." Lily said, frantically untwisting her hair but finding it challenging due to her shaking hands. He reached up to help her and his fingers touched hers. A jolt of electricity ran through him and Lily looked up, startled.  
"Electric shock, my hair's rather static I suppose."  
James raised an eyebrow as she continued to untangle her hair. He watched her bite her lip in frustration. "Bloody hair," She muttered, freeing herself. "Knew I should of cut it."  
"No!" James said, far too loudly. She stepped back a couple of steps, startled.  
James pushed a hand through his hair. "I, uh…your hair is nice."  
Lily looked confused. "Thanks?"

James was about to reply when an arm slid around Lily's waist. Amos Diggory.  
"Lily why are you talking to Potter?" He looked down at her. "We talked about this." He said and James noticed his grip on Lily tightening. She winced ever so slightly.  
"Let go of her!" James said abruptly. Amos looked up and laughed. "Really Potter? I can't touch my own girlfriend?"  
Lily visibly stiffened, and James clenched his jaw. "Girlfriend?" His voice was steady.  
Amos nodded. "Isn't that right, dear?"  
Lily looked up at James with wide eyes. "Yes."

James stepped back, his hands on his trunk. "Okay." He stared at Amos, before walking right up to his ear. "Hurt her," He whispered sharply. "And I _will _kill you."  
Amos smiled. "Thanks for the blessing."  
The couple walked to the doors at the end of the train and boarded, and James noted how Amos refused to let go of Lily the entire time. He sighed, walking to the closest entrance, which was beginning to close.  
Something was not right and he was going to find out what as soon as possible.

* * *

Lily settled herself into the compartment with Amos. She had wanted to sit alone and read for the journey, but that wasn't going to happen. The incident with James had been horrible, but at least he seemed to have gotten over what had happened at the party. Lily took a bobble off her wrist and tied her hair up into a plait, she was definitely going to cut it when she arrived at Hogwarts.  
"I told you Lily." Amos said. "Don't talk to the marauders. If I see you talking to them again…" He trailed off, perhaps not able to think of a suitable threat.  
Lily nodded.  
"What?" Amos said, smirking.  
"Yes." Lily said though gritted teeth.  
"You're rubbish at acting," He continued. "Better improve if you want the werewolf to continue his life."  
She turned away from him and looked out of the window. They were already out of the city and she was surrounded by a blur of green and grey.

* * *

"What an arsehole!" James ranted to his friends. He'd told them the whole story and they were just as furious. "Oh you should have seen him, Padfoot."  
"I would have punched him so hard his head would fall off!"  
"I should have!" Said James. Although Sirius had never been Lily's biggest fan, he agreed that it sounded like something worrying was up.  
Peter was sat forward, taking in all of the information. Remus was absent. He'd left as soon as they'd sat down.  
"Once we get to Hogwarts we need to watch him…see if anything happens with Lily." Said James, pushing his glasses up. Sirius and Peter nodded.  
"I'm worried about her." James continued.  
"Marlene and the girls aren't talking to her." Sirius said.  
"Why?"  
"Amos."  
James frowned. "This _really_ isn't good, guys."


	24. Friendless

**AN:/ Hi guys:) Follow me on twitter: Emilyrose_1  
** **Enjoy:D**

The opening feast was a little awkward to say the least.  
Whenever Lily even attempted to make eye contact with any of the girls, they glared and turned away. Hestia was the worst, although seeing as Amos had his arm draped over her shoulder, she really couldn't blame the girl. Already pretty much everyone in Hogwarts knew about Amos and Lily. The gossip had spread like wildfire, along with some nasty rumours about what exactly had happened between the two at the party. Lily reckoned that most of those had come from Melinda herself, who seemed to have picked Lily as her arch nemesis.

Many of her fellows had looked shocked to hear about the newest couple. Lily got the impression that everyone had believed that it was only a matter of time before James and her started going out, and now they were proved wrong. To the public eye, Lily thought she and Amos looked like a good couple, totally loved up. But the public eye also didn't know the terrible, manipulative truth.

Now, as Lily walked alone up to Gryffindor Tower, she was dreading very much what was about to happen. She shared a room with the three girls who seemed to hate her most in the world. Would they say anything to her?  
Lily had a sick feeling in her stomach as she slowly walked up the girl's stairs. She was pretty sure they would all be up there already, she was late because Amos kept her later in the great hall than she would have liked.

Lily's hand shook as she opened the door. Conversation ceased immediately, and she stared awkwardly at the girls.  
"Hi?" Said Lily.  
Hestia stood up and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Marlene and Alice gave each other sideways glances. "Hello Lily." Marlene said in a formal voice. She got up and sat on Alice's bed, which happened to be the furthest from her own. Lily sat down and opened up her trunk, simply to have something to do. The atmosphere in the room was unbelievably tense and Lily felt her eyes watering slightly. Realising her only friend was a boy who was blackmailing and using her felt horrible.  
Lily sighed heavily and Marlene looked up suddenly. She seemed to acknowledge Lily's distressed expression, and gestured to the door. Lily got up and followed. Marlene closed it behind her quietly and they walked a little down the hall.

"How could you?"  
Lily was startled at the coldness exposed in Marlene's voice. She had never ever spoken to anyone like that before, not even one of the marauders.  
"I'm sorry Mar-" Lily began, but she was cut off.  
"Y'know, I reckoned that when you snogged him at the party you were just too drunk to function properly; that you forgot that your best friend has liked him for years. We were willing to forgive you on that basis. But now? Lily, you're bloody going out with him. How do you think Hestia feels right now!"  
Lily hung her head. Everything Marlene said had been true. But she didn't get it. Didn't understand that she had to do this!

"I know. You're completely right."  
Marlene paused. "Listen Lily. I won't lie, I hate not talking to you; so do the others. If you broke up with Amos tomorrow I think Hestia would be willing to forgive you.  
Lily wanted to say yes.  
So badly.  
She almost did to; it was the easy option! She could return to her normal life and forget anything had ever happened. But she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. The fact that she'd condemned one of her closest friends to a life of misery would ensure that she'd never be happy again. Lily decided she'd have to ride it out, no matter how bad things got, she was doing this for Remus.  
"Marlene…I-I can't."  
Marlene's hopeful smile disappeared.  
"And why?"  
"I'm sorry…" Lily struggled for an explanation. "I-I really like him."  
Marlene shook her head. "You're unbelievable."  
With that Marlene swept by her and back up to the dorm. Not ready to go back up, Lily continued down stairs into the common room.

* * *

James lay sprawled across the sofa beside the fire with his eyes closed.  
Sirius and Peter were playing a game of wizard's chess on the floor. Remus was in the dorm, he'd told them that he was tired and wanted to get an early night. His absence really was beginning to take its toll on James. He missed everything about Remus, and realised now how much he had taken his friend for granted. There was a gaping hole in the marauders, and he had no idea how to repair it.

"Alright Evans?" James' eyes burst open at the sound of Sirius's voice. He sat up and looked around. Sure enough, an upset looking Lily was sitting on the armchair opposite. "Are you okay?" James asked. He was worried that something bad had happened with Amos.  
Lily shrugged and turned away from them. He remembered Amos saying to Lily not to talk to him, and wondered if this was why she didn't want to talk.  
Sirius and James shared a troubled look.  
"What's up?" Said Sirius, scooting closer to the girl. Lily breathed heavily and turned to face them. Her hair was falling out of the plait and her face was streaked with smudged make up.  
"Did Amos do anything?" James found himself saying. Sirius shot him a sharp look, but Lily didn't seem to notice. She rubbed her eyes, only making the make up worse.  
"N-no!" Said Lily. "Amos…he's, he's great."  
James didn't believe that for a minute.  
"So why are you crying?" Peter said bluntly. James glared; Pete was completely clueless.  
Lily looked up. "Oh, It's the girls…they hate Me."  
"Why?"  
"Oh, well because of Amos." She looked hesitant to continue, but shook her head slowly. "Marlene said, she said that they would talk to me again if I dumped him…"  
James's spirits lifted. Surely she would break up with Amos to get her friends back? "And?"  
"I…I told her I couldn't."

There was a silence, James felt crushed. She'd rather choose some random boy over her three best friends? That didn't seem like a very Lily thing to do.  
"Why?" James asked loudly.  
Lily suddenly flared up.  
"It's none of your business Potter!" She stood up abruptly. "I-I really like Amos. He's…he's brilliant."  
There were tears running down Lily's face once again. James stood up and walked closer to her. Lily shied away, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"The Lily Evans I know wouldn't drop her friends like that." Said James softly.  
"You clearly don't know me then." Lily whispered.  
She looked defeated, as if she was holding something back that she really wanted to say.  
James suddenly didn't know what to think or say.  
"Maybe I don't."  
Lily turned around and ran to the portrait. She disappeared through, leaving the boys alone.  
"We have to do something about this." James said. "Talk to Hestia, Alice and Marlene."  
Sirius and Peter nodded.

* * *

Lily wandered the deserted halls, willing herself to calm down, to stop crying. She was friendless.  
What almost made it worse was the Marauders. They were being so nice to her. She had thought they'd be angry after she'd seen Remus, but they hadn't said one word about it…probably for Remus's sake.  
That was another thing; her fellow prefect hadn't spoken one word to her yet. Lily was worried, should she have written to Remus, explained that it was perfectly fine? That she didn't mind?  
Perhaps it was too late…  
Lily shook her head; she'd make sure to talk to Remus as soon as she saw him. She shivered. The castle was not warm at night.  
But Lily was not ready to return to the dorm.

Weirdly, Lily soon found herself in front of the closet on the third floor. The closet where seemingly this whole mess had started. Lily smiled lightly and opened the door. She turned on the light; it was warm in there, cosy. She sat down and put her head against a pile of cloths.  
Sleep came quickly.


	25. Prongs

**AN:/Thanks to all of my constant reviewers, you all make my day!:D Enjoyyyyy x**

James jolted awake.  
His back was aching from sleeping on the lumpy sofa, and there was still a dull sort of throbbing in his leg from the bite. He rolled his trouser leg up and stared at the faint scarring, faded but still clear to see. In the dead of night James had let himself wonder about that bite. Had the lycanthropy been passed on? Full moon was in exactly 4 days; he'd never paid so much attention to the lunar calendar before now. If James were to transform along with Remus…he would feel worse for his friend than himself. Surely the guilt would destroy him, even if James insisted that he really was okay.

So, for Remus's sake, James prayed to Merlin that the only animal he would be transforming into any time soon was his own stag.

Only the dying embers of the fire lit the common room. It cast dancing shadows along the slumbering portraits. Sirius was lying on the ground, with his mouth wide open. He was snoring loudly as usual. To James's amusement, Peter had his head against Sirius's chest, his hand clutching the fabric of his friend's shirt. James smirked; he wished he had a camera to capture the touching moment.

He looked away, to the window. It was still very dark outside, but James couldn't hope to get back to sleep. Too much information was swimming around in his head: Lily and Amos, Remus, Full moon, and strangely, his parents. He had a weird nervous feeling in his stomach. Mr and Mrs Potter had been unable to see their son off at the train, because they were on an Auror mission.  
A mission that had meant to finish two days ago yet there had been no contact whatsoever from them to either the ministry or himself. He'd pushed the feeling back until now, they sometimes did come back late from them, but what with all of the increasing rumours floating around about certain wizards accomplished in dark magic rising to power, he did begin to worry.

It was unlikely of course; they were out on an inventory mission, nothing too dangerous. Well, that was what they'd told him. Had his parents lied to spare him from worrying? James sighed. He was over thinking things again.  
Needing to distract himself from the increasing sense of dread, James left the common room, deciding to head to the kitchens.

* * *

Lily rolled over in her sleep and banged her head on a pipe face down. She sat up, her head already spinning. "Bloody hell…" She grumbled.  
She lifted a hand to her face; a steady flow of blood was running from her nose. Lily swore. She reached blindly for one of the cloths that she had slept on and held one up to her face. It smelt strongly of chemicals.  
She lit her wand and stood up. The room began spinning; she must of hit her head harder that she'd thought. The entire left side of her forehead hurt hugely. Still clamping the cloth to her nose, Lily left the cupboard.

If she didn't get something cold to put on her head soon, Lily was sure that the bump would swell and she'd look ridiculous for class. She scanned her mind for a suitable spell, but none came to mind.  
Brilliant, she thought, 6th year witch at a spell for magic and she didn't even know a bloody spell for ice.  
Plan B…where in the school could she get ice? Not the hospital wing…she'd have to tell Madam Pompfrey how she'd gotten the bump, and didn't fancy explaining all of that yet again.  
Kitchen! Lily could easily ask the house elves for a tea towel filled with ice…they wouldn't even mind or ask questions.  
So she changed direction and headed to the kitchen, still with a cloth stuck to her face.

* * *

James sat comfortably at a round oak table in the warmth of the kitchen. His hands were curled around a cup of hot chocolate and he smiled, feeling a little less tense.  
Already the elves were bustling around, preparing breakfast that needed to be served by at least six for any of the early bird's in Hogwarts. The comforting smell of homemade food relaxed him. The constant noise, bacon and sausages sizzling, juice being poured, even fridges being pulled opened and closed made him think of his mother.  
An elf even smaller than usual ran up to him, tripping slightly on the way.  
"Would Mr Potter like anything else to eat or drink?"  
James considered this, it must have been around three now anyway, he may as well.  
"Could I have some toast with peanut butter?"  
The elf grinned and nodded her head rapidly. "Of course sir, Binky will have your food right away."  
She skipped away, retuning less than a minute later with a plate of fresh toast, lathered in smooth peanut butter.  
"Thank you Binky." James said kindly.

Around 10 minutes later, he was disturbed again. The particular table was hidden from view from the door, around near the ovens. A different elf walked up, playing nervously with the corners of his tea towel garment.  
"Mr Potter, there is a lady here now also, may she come sit with you?"  
James shrugged. "I guess. Wait, who is it?"  
"Lily Evans, sir. And she is looking upset, sir."  
He nodded. "Yeah, fine with me."

James breathed deeply. Lily rounded the corner with a clear bag filled with ice clutched to her forehead. For reason's completely unknown to himself, James stood up, his back straight.  
Lily gave him a weird look before sitting down on the opposite side of the table. James awkwardly lowered himself back into his own seat.  
"'Lo," Lily said, her voice was thick as if she'd been asleep not too long ago.  
"Hey there," James said sheepishly. "Fancy meeting you here."  
Lily shrugged. "I hurt my head and came for Ice."  
"I can see that." James said. "Can I ask how?"  
Lily smiled. "Just me being a stupid idiot as usual. I was, er, I was sleeping in a broom closet and fell onto a pipe."  
James raised his eyebrow. "And why were you sleeping there?"  
Lily blushed. "I'm not very welcome in the dorm right now…couldn't face it."  
He nodded. "I get it."  
Lily looked up. "Don't say that. You don't get it! You have the three best friends in the world."  
James took his glasses off; they were steamed up from the fumes in the kitchen.  
"It looks like that, but…well, it's Remus."  
He saw Lily's back stiffen slightly, but continued.  
"Ever since that night…the night were you, you _saw _the wolf…since I got-" He cut himself off, she wouldn't care.

"What is it?" Said Lily.  
James slid his hands against the tabletop. "You saw…well, you saw other animals in there with him, right?"  
Lily nodded. "Yeah, the stag saved me from the wolf."  
He smiled.  
"I saved you from the wolf." James could feel his hands shaking.  
"What?" Lily said, her voice filled with confusion. "But you weren't there-"  
"I was. Lily…I'm, I'm an animagus."

Silence.  
A silence so thick filled the air that was so full of noise. James waited for her answer, yet she was just staring at him with that strange expression marring her features.  
"Er, Lily?"  
Slowly, an uncertain grin spread across her face. "That day in transfiguration!"  
James raised his shoulders. "Um, when?"  
"In transfiguration! You got that question right…about Animagus, I got it wrong."  
James nodded his head. "You remember that?"  
Lily turned red. "Well, I remember a lot of things…" She trailed off.  
"So you don't mind?"  
Lily ran a hand through her hair. "Not really, I mean, it's brilliant magic…really. And I understand…" She lowered her voice. "You did it for Remus."  
James nodded, feeling self-conscious.  
"Under all that arrogant show…James Potter, you really aren't that bad."

James felt his face split, a wide smile breaking out.  
"Why thank you, Lilyflower…I suppose you aren't such a prudy cow either." Lily reached out and hit his hand playfully and there it was again…that crazy electric shock.  
She jumped back. "What the hell?" Lily muttered. "That keeps happening to us."  
James managed a smile, barely. His mind was reeling…was it possible? Could Lily Evans and James Potter actually be friends? If it weren't for Amos he could almost imagine…  
No.  
James stopped himself. Lily had said it herself; she liked Amos enough to leave her friends for him.  
"You know," Lily said. "Amos really doesn't want me to talk to you…or the other marauders."  
"But why?" James shook his head.  
"I don't know," Lily said, though her eyes were cast down onto her lap. "He hates all of you."  
"The feeling is mutual, trust me." James said darkly. Lily grimaced.  
"I know you do."

They talked and talked, and talked and talked and talked.  
Soon the elves were telling them that breakfast had begun and that they had to leave.  
Lily and James parted in the common room.  
"Thanks Lily," James said. "For understanding. You really helped me…take my mind off some things."  
Lily nodded, smiling widely.  
They were standing close enough that James could hear her light breathing. Suddenly Lily reached up and hugged him, placing her head on his shoulder.  
Getting over the shock, James encased her in his arms. It was nice, lovely.

"Excuse me?"  
Lily jumped back like he'd been burned. A very pissed off looking Amos Diggory was standing at the bottom of the boy's stairs. He paced forward and roughly grabbed Lily's shoulder. She yelped slightly as he dragged her from the common room.


	26. For the first time

**AN:/Hey guys, hope you like this chapter!:D  
**

James stood still idiotically for a moment before realising that Lily may actually be in danger. He turned to the stairs and jumped up them, skipping three each time.  
"Sirius! Padfoot! C'mere!" Shouted James as he burst through the bedroom door. Three drowsy figures sat up from their beds, all glaring James's direction.  
"What!" Sirius said.  
"It's Lily, I need you."  
James pleaded with his eyes. Sirius saw the fear etched on his friends face and jumped out of bed. He shoved his school shoes on, grabbed the Marauder's Map and followed James back into the hall.

* * *

Amos had his arm around Lily's shoulder, a gesture that no one would see as suspicious due to the fact that they _were_ going out. But he had his hand dug into her shoulder, causing sharp pains to shoot up her arm.  
"Amos stop!" Lily said, attempting to wrench his fingers away from her. The boy ignored her, driving Lily down a corridor and finally into an empty classroom.  
He let go of Lily and slammed the door closed.

Lily backed herself up as close as possible to the back wall. "Leave me alone." She said in a calm voice.  
Amos though, was far from calm. It seemed all of the pent up anger had finally exploded, displaying the monster from within ready to lash out on the closest possible person available; Lily.  
He marched up to her and stopped inches from her face.  
"What did I tell you?" He said in a deep voice, grabbing Lily's wrists.  
"Not to talk to James!"  
His grip tightened and Lily struggled to get away from him.  
"And you did. You disobeyed me."  
With a loud smack, Amos slapped her hard. Lily lurched backwards at the stab of pain. Amos was standing over her, looking a little shocked himself at what he'd done.

All of a sudden Lily laughed. The sound of his voice, trying to act all scary and threatening was ridiculous.  
"You think I'm scared of you?" Lily grinned. Amos seemed shocked at her bravery and loosened his grip, which gave Lily the perfect opportunity to escape. She twisted her hands sideways and ducked under his raised arms, running to the other side of the room.

Amos let out an angry cry and made his way over to her again. But Lily was too fast; she took her wand out and made a desk go flying into his legs. Amos toppled over.  
There was a swinging light dangling just to the left of his head  
Lily smirked. Perfect.

With another flash of her wand, the chandelier unscrewed itself and fell. Lily ducked away to avoid getting glass in her eyes. When she looked back up, she saw that the light had smashed just left to where Amos was lying.  
She walked cautiously over, peering to see his eyes. They were closed.  
Amos was unconscious, surrounded by a pool of glass shards.

Lily stood in front of him, her breathing uneven. Her cheek was throbbing; she couldn't believe that he'd actually hit her!  
Once she'd calmed down, Lily turned around and walked to her door. She was paused, thinking whether she should clean the room up when something jagged hit her back. Lily gasped and turned.  
Amos was sitting up, his hand raised.  
Slowly, Lily felt her way to the pain. She winced, pulling a long pointed shard of glass from her back. The end was covered in blood.  
Upon seeing what he'd done, Amos turned white as death.  
"Lily, oh my Merlin, I didn't mean to-" He put a hand up to his mouth.  
"I'm sorry I-"  
Lily fell to her knees, more at sheer shock that he'd actually stabbed her than pain…of course, there was that too.

Suddenly the door swung open, banging loudly against the wall. Lily looked up and saw James and Sirius.  
"Lily, are you-"  
The boys took in the scene before them, the scattered tables, broken chandelier and of course Lily with blood gushing out of her back.  
There was a heavy silence.

Then James had a look on his face that Lily couldn't even comprehend. His hazel eyes had turned dark and his mouth was in a fierce snarl. Amos jumped up, running slightly to the other end of the class.  
James tore his wand out of his pocket and began shooting random spells as Amos, who barely tried to defend himself.

After a very short time Amos was lying on the ground, properly unconscious this time. His skin was dyed turquoise and his nose was so long it now reached his stomach. James pocketed his wand and turned to Lily, who had shakily risen to her feet, holding the wound on her back. Sirius was holding her other arm.  
"Lil's?" He said.  
Lily smiled, the way he said her name made her feel better.  
"I'm okay." She said.  
James shook his head. "No, you're not…that little creep, I can't believe it!"

Lily took a breath. "It's nothing I-"  
"No!" Said James. "He bloody _stabbed _you Lily, and, is your cheek red? _Did he slap you too?!"  
_Lily looked down, an answer in itself.  
James turned back to Amos and kicked him hard in the side. The boy whimpered in his sleep.  
Lily sighed. "Can we go to the hospital wing?"  
He turned around, still looking furious. Sirius stepped forward.  
"Come on James, Lily needs help." He paused, looking down at Amos coldly. "We'll get him for this later."

Roughly an hour and a half later, Lily was lying on her stomach in a bed in the hospital wing. It had taken an age to explain to the matron what had happened. She seemed extremely shocked, muttering about calling for Dumbledore at once. But then she had seen the deep cut and the blood dripping onto the floor. She had asked no more questions and rushed Lily onto the bed, sealing the wound with magic and giving her a blood-replenishing potion.  
Madam Pompfrey said that Lily would have to stay the night to monitor her condition, but that Dumbledore would be down shortly to talk.

Sirius had left to go to class, but James had forced Madam Pompfrey to let him stay. He wouldn't take no for an answer.  
Lily felt extremely awkward. She couldn't lie on her back due to the pain, but she turned herself slowly onto her side to face James. He was frowning, and kept reaching up to mess his hair up.  
"Stop doing that." Lily smiled.  
"Doing what?"  
"Fixing your hair, it's driving me mad."  
James bit his lip. "Sorry." He locked his hands together in his lap, but about thirty seconds later he did it again. Lily laughed.  
"It's a habit! I don't even realise I do it!"  
She grinned and looked into his eyes. Though he was smiling, it didn't reach his eyes. Frantic worry was not so hidden beneath his glasses.  
"I'm fine James, honestly."  
James shrugged. "I just worry about you."  
Lily blushed. She remembered the tangle emotions she'd felt for the boy in front of her at the party that night and though lately she'd been able to hide them from her mind, they all came rushing back now as she stared into his eyes.

"I know how to keep you from doing it." Lily said softly. Her heart was racing.  
"How?" James said, looking confused.  
Before she could think about it, Lily grabbed both of his hands in hers.  
She felt that tingling shock pass through her again and was sure he had too.  
He looked up at her, smiling slightly.  
"I like your ideas, Lily Evans."

Lily looked down at their intertwined hands and felt all of the tense feelings leave her mind. She turned her head back to face the ceiling.  
"What are you thinking?" She asked James, afraid to look at his face.  
"I'm…I'm wondering if I'm dreaming." James admitted. Lily smiled. She squeezed his hands.  
"I'm only doing this to help you get over your habit."  
He ran his thumb over hers, sending shivers down Lily's spine.  
"Of course." Said James. Lily could hear from his voice that he was smiling.  
"Is it working?" She whispered, looking back at him.  
James tilted his head. "I'm not sure," His voice was so quiet. He moved his chair closer to the bedside, smiling lopsidedly.  
Lily gripped his hands tighter. "That's not very good."  
James shook his head ever so slightly.

There was a comfortable silence and Lily found herself trapped in his eyes.  
Slowly, tentatively, Lily let go of one of James's hands and brushed her fingers over his cheek and up to his hair, mimicking the action that James was so obsessed to doing.  
He moved his free hand up to Lily's hair and tucked a strand behind her ear. She shivered as he ran his hand through hers.  
"See?" James said, so close to her ear. "It's addictive."  
Lily moved closer to him, her lips whispering on his cheek.  
"It is…"  
They closed the distance together, lips finally touching and shocks exploding, only this time multiplied by thousands.


	27. Confusion

**AN:/Thanks again to my reviewers, i'm really glad you like the story:')  
****Story begins to get serious here guys...  
**

Yes it sounded horribly clichéd, but Lily honestly was on cloud 9.  
Even though Dumbledore _had_ walked in during…well, _the kiss,_ nothing could bring her down. James had left swiftly after, making his excuses and attempting to tear the grin off his face.  
Dumbledore had said nothing about it, merely replacing James beside her bed. He questioned her about Amos, his eyes twinkling with hidden joy behind them all the meeting had ended rather quickly, and he left, leaving Lily with her thoughts.

Now as she lay on her side, Lily allowed herself to think about her future with the boy. Surely James would ask her out now?  
She smiled. It seemed everything was falling into place. The girls would definitely talk to her again, especially after what had happened with Amos. They would probably spend a good week telling her 'I told you so', but Lily reckoned she could deal with that.  
So everything lay in James Potter's hands now.

* * *

James left the hospital wing and stood with his head against the door. What the bloody hell was going on?  
He was shocked beyond shock…Lily had made the first move, holding his hands like that.  
Then the kiss…  
James had had so many before, not even pausing to think.  
But with Lily it had been different, perfect even.

He pushed a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face and grinned. He had to find the guys, tell them! Sirius wouldn't believe it.  
After checking his timetable, James saw that Sirius and Remus were in Divination, where he was meant to be.  
So James headed in that direction.

"Excuse me professor." Said James, having knocked on the door. "May Remus and Sirius come see Professor Dumbledore?"  
The frail, glassy eyed woman nodded briskly. "Of course dear, I-"  
The teacher stumbled forward abruptly, grabbing James's wrist.  
James jumped backwards, but she had a firm grip, staring at James with wide eyes.  
"Oh dear…" She was mumbling. "Fatal, I see it now…My poor boy…attack…coming…"  
James gasped and the classroom went silent.  
"W-what do you mean?" He asked.  
The professor had tears in her eyes. "The fates…they have acted, a string cut…two strings cut…never to be retied again…"

James was mesmerised, what was she on about?  
There was a lasting silence and he dimly registered that everyone was staring at them.  
Sirius stood in front, blocking her from James's view.  
James was staring, stricken.  
Sirius grabbed his shoulder and began steering him from the room, Remus following behind  
James twisted his head around and saw the old woman, and her hands now rose covering her face. With a shiver James shoved Sirius off and walked off a head of them.  
"Don't bother listening to her mate," Said Sirius, as they caught up.  
"She's barmy."  
James looked over at Remus for confirmation.  
Not so reassuringly, he shrugged, staring ahead of him.

"Why does Dumbledore want us?" He asked.  
James looked over confused, his head swimming.  
"What? Oh right, he doesn't…I just need to tell you something."  
Remus raised his eyebrow. "You made us miss class for that? Better be good."  
James suddenly felt stupid…Remus was right, he'd pulled them out to tell them what? That he'd kissed at girl?  
To be frank, all he was worried about now was the professor's chilling words.  
Had she meant his parents? Surely not…

"Never mind." James said, shaking his head. "I feel sick."  
Sirius frowned. "Shall we head to the common room? Sit by the fire?"  
Remus stopped.  
"Er…go on…I want to go back to class."

"Remus wait-" Sirius began, but Remus was already speeding back down the corridor.  
Sirius sighed. "And then there were two…"  
James ignored him and they returned to the Gryffindor tower in silence.

* * *

Lily yawned and looked up at the clock. It had been three hours since Dumbledore had left and there hadn't been one visitor. She was disappointed; having expected James or Marlene, Hestia and Alice.  
Worry began seeping into her head.  
Had she freaked him out? Maybe he really didn't like her anymore.

Madam Pomfrey came to check on her a short while later and insisted she stay the night. Dinner would be half over by now and Lily was unbelievably bored. She asked the matron for a sleeping potion, and downed the entire glass in one. She could feel a deep, lasting sleep creeping up on her.  
Within five minutes Lily was out, drifting away into a blissful dream.

Lily awoke slowly and sat up. Her head was spinning.  
The curtains of the Hospital Wing were open, rays of sun bursting through and shining onto her face. She wiped her eyes, how long had she been out?

Madam Pomfrey came bustling over.  
"Oh good, you're finally awake. Thought you'd never come out of that sleep…didn't I tell you to drink the potion slowly?"  
Lily groaned and lay her head back down on the pillow.  
"How long have I been out for?"  
"Two days, Miss Evans!"  
Lily's breath caught in her throat. "_What?!"  
_The Matron nodded. "Yes."  
"I need to get out of here now!" Lily kicked the sheets off and stood up. The room swirled and spinned, Lily grabbed onto the bedside table.  
"Careful!" Madam Pomfrey said shrilly. "You need to sit down for a while, eat something."  
Lily grumbled and sat reluctantly on the chair whilst Madam Pomfrey left, saying she had some Honeydukes chocolate that would tide her over until dinner.

As she ate, Lily was filled in with all of the gossip.  
"Your three friends have been here an awful lot," The matron said. "Crowding up my Infirmary!"  
Lily smiled, she was relieved to hear that news.  
"And that Amos Diggory will be sitting Detentions every other night until Christmas for what he did!"  
Lily nodded.  
"Has…anyone else been to see me?" Asked Lily, hoping that it didn't sound to obvious that she was thinking of James.  
Madam Pomfrey shook her head sympathetically. "I'm afraid not, Miss Evans."  
Lily felt her heart drop. It had been two full days since the kiss and James hadn't even been to see her? This confirmed her worries; he was not interested…and most likely too mortified to even look her in the eyes. Lily shuddered, wishing she were asleep again.

Once she left the Hospital Wing…well, she'd have to face him at some stage. Maybe make up a lie, that she had been out of her mind on all of the potions she had been given.  
That could work, but Lily couldn't suppress her utter sorrow. She wondered if this was what a broken heart felt like. But she didn't kid herself; the opportunity to have anything with James had been torn away before she'd even had to chance to begin wondering about the possibilities.  
And it _sucked. _

"All right deary," Madam Pomfrey said, shortly later. "You're free to go!"  
Lily nodded shakily. "Thank you miss."  
Lily left and began walking to the common room. It was a Friday, and the final classes of the day would finish in 10 minutes. She sped up her walk slightly to avoid running into anyone, specifically James. If Lily was honest, she was actually rather annoyed at the boy. He'd completely strung her along after all this time. She bet that he'd ran straight to Sirius and they'd had a good old laugh about how he'd finally captured Lily Evans; the final girl to tick of the list.

And oh it _hurt_.  
It hurt so much that Lily was getting angrier by the minute. How dare he mess with her emotions like that!  
She thought that he had changed, matured, but no. It had all been an act…and James Potter was one talented actor.

When she arrived in the common room, Lily was shocked to see a group of people crowded around the fire.  
Sirius, Remus, Peter, Hestia, Marlene and Alice. They all turned to her, hearing the closing portrait.  
"Hello." Lily said. No one replied.  
She took a moment to look at all of their faces and that of Sirius Black particularly jumped out at her. It was clear that he had been crying; his eyes still glossy. Remus and Peter also looked similar, but Sirius just looked so…so utterly _devastated_.  
Lily looked over at Marlene, who had lines of mascara running down her face.  
"What happened?" Lily said rapidly.  
After an age it was Hestia who replied.

"Lily," She said, her voice slightly hoarse. "Lily it's James's parents…they're dead."


	28. Trying to fix things

**AN:/Hey guys, sorry for not updating sooner, I honestly have no excuse other than the fact that I really don't like this chapter. I don't know, I guess I'm having Writer's Block...  
****I hope you enjoy it anyway, it _is_ a lot longer than previous chapters!:D**

"Where is he? Said Lily immediately.  
Remus looked up. "Down by the lake."  
Lily stepped back towards the exit. "I have to see him." Sirius stood up. "No!" He choked. "If he doesn't want to talk to me, he won't want to see _you!"_

Lily knew he was upset, but his harsh tone annoyed her.  
"If he doesn't want to talk he can tell me himself."  
Without another word Lily swung the portrait open and left, making her way to the entrance of the castle.

As she went, Lily let the news sink in. She really didn't know very much, hadn't stayed long enough for her friends to actually tell her.  
But what she did know was how horrible she had been, how self absorbed and completely selfish. Not 10 minutes ago she had been internally cursing James Potter. And for what reason? Because he hadn't come to see her in the Hospital Wing?  
Big deal.  
His parents were dead. Gone.  
Although no one knew what she had been thinking, Lily still felt endlessly guilty.  
He was an only child, though everybody knew that the Potter's had practically adopted Sirius Black into the family. No wonder Sirius seemed so heart broken, he had lost his parents today too.  
She also knew that the McKinnon's had been best friends with the Potter family, and that Marlene had seen them every week for as long as she could remember. James and her and grown up side by side.

Lily stopped just outside the doors. Should she really see him? Or just leave him be, as he probably wished. She could hardly tell him she understood, that would just be insulting seeing as she got daily letters from her own parents.  
So what would she say?  
Lily thought about if their positions were reversed, if it was she down by the lake. She could imagine James speaking with her, helping her…  
She continued down the path.

The air was chilly outside and Lily drew her robes around her. The air was unusually windless, the leaves barely shuffling along the ground.  
A lone figure was standing at the edge of the lake, throwing stones into the murky depth. James.  
When Lily got close enough, he heard her and turned. For a moment they were frozen, staring. Then Lily closed the distance and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. His head drooped onto her and he was breathing heavily. Lily said nothing, unable to find any type of words suitable.

After a while, they sat beneath the oak tree, Lily's head on James's shoulder.  
"I had this feeling," Said James. "When they didn't return from the mission on time, I knew something was wrong…I knew it." He breathed out shakily. Lily looked up at him and saw his bottom lip quivering.  
"James, you don't have to talk about it."  
He shook his head. "The Divination teacher, she warned me…told me. She, she knew that something was about to go wrong and what did Sirius and I do? Call her crazy, insane. Well, she was right. My parents are _dead!"  
_Lily looked down into her lap.  
"I don't know how you're feeling, James." He looked over, startled. "I'm not going to lie to you, I've never lost anyone I really care about. I'm not going to be one of those people who pretend they know what you're going though, what's going on in your head." She shrugged. "Because I don't."

She looked over at him and saw his lip quirked slightly.  
"Lily Evans. You would be the one person who refuses to treat me any different. You know why I came down here? Couldn't handle the stares, the looks of _pity. _I've had at least 15 people come up to me already and tell me they were 'sorry for my loss.' But they don't care, not didn't know my mum, how she would return from work exhausted and somehow still make the time to bake the best chocolate cookies you've ever tasted. And my dad...who, who always could make me feel better by telling one of his rubbish jokes."  
"I'm sorry," She began. "I'm sorry that I never met Mr and Mrs Potter."  
James smiled.

They sat in silence for another while, watching the Giant Squid blow soft bubbles over the surface of the lake.  
"Things are changing, Lily." Said James.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Two years ago, a murder in the Wizarding world was unheard of. Now? They're weekly. And it's all down to him."  
Lily nodded weakly. "Voldemort."  
James laughed. "At least you and I aren't afraid of him. Did you know everyone is calling him 'He who must not be named'? Pathetic."  
Lily shivered; it really was cold.  
"Don't you feel angry?" She said.  
"Oh, I'm bloody furious. And I will make sure he is defeated, someday. If it's the last thing I do I won't let him near anyone I love ever again."  
Lily looked up and saw the fierce heat set into his eyes and she knew that James meant every word he said

The sun was setting by the time James and Lily returned to the castle. They walked up to the doors hand in hand, keeping close to block out the harsh weather.  
"We've missed dinner." Said Lily.  
"Sorry, you should of said-"  
"No," Lily smiled. "Not hungry anyway."  
The pair continued up to the common room, though they let go of each other to avoid any more unwanted stares.  
When they entered the room, Sirius jumped out of his seat by the fire and rushed over. He looked at the two, staring particularly at Lily.  
Feeling like she was intruding, Lily said goodbye made her way over to the girls.

"Hey." She said carefully.  
"Alright?" Alice smiled, patting the empty space. Lily sat down.  
She looked over at Marlene who was staring at a random spot near the fire.  
"Mar?" The girl looked up. "Are you okay?"  
Marlene nodded and pushed her hair back from her face. "I will be."  
Then Lily turned to Hestia, who looked unsure about what to do.  
"Hestia…I am sorry."  
Hestia shrugged. "I still don't know why you did it…but I can't believe what Amos did to you."  
Lily bit her lip. Could she tell them? Or would Amos still tell everyone? But she could never tell them the full story anyway without them finding out about Remus.  
"It's a long, long story, and I don't know if I can tell you…but please Hest, know that I was doing it for a reason."  
Hestia still looked uncertain, but nodded her head.

* * *

James looked at Sirius.  
His friend's eyes were red, and James figured his must look pretty much the same.  
They walked over to Remus and Peter and sat. The atmosphere was tense, something that the Marauders had never experienced ever.  
"I'm sorry about your mum and dad, James." Peter said.  
James couldn't help but smile, thinking of what Lily had said. "Thanks Pete."  
Remus shifted his feet about awkwardly.  
"James I-"  
"It's alright Moony, _we're alright_."  
Remus frowned.

"Mate, you need to stop this."  
Remus shook his head. "I don't know-"  
"You do know, Remus! You've been avoiding me...all of us." He looked around at Peter and Sirius, who nodded solemnly.  
"We need you back, Moony."  
Maybe Remus was doing it because James's parents had just died, but the boy smiled half-heartedly and nodded.  
"Alright…but James,"  
He lowered his voice.  
"The full moon is tomorrow. If you…If I've…" He sighed. "You know what I mean…"  
James pushed his hair back.  
"I understand, but Remus, I'll always be there for you. No matter what happens, we're the marauders. And we stick together."  
He finished his speech and glanced around to see the other occupants of the common room staring at them. He did suppose it was very unlike the marauders to be…sensitive.  
James stood his ground, staring back at a couple of older boys. Eventually they looked away, as did the others. Conversation resumed.  
James turned around. Sirius sighed dramatically.  
"Next time you decide have a little heart to heart talk about our friendship, make sure we're in the privacy of our own dorms. Merlin knows there are already enough rumours about just how _close _the marauders are."  
He grinned and James let out a short laugh.  
"Right Pete?" Sirius turned to Peter and winked at him, leaving the poor boy red and flustered.

* * *

Lily laughed to herself after hearing James's proclamation. The girls looked at her quizzically.  
"Lily?" Alice said. "What _is _going on with you and James?"  
She blushed and looked away.  
Which obviously wasn't the right thing to do. All three girls jumped closer, their eyes wild.  
"Tell us Lily Evans!"  
Lily looked at Marlene, who seemed to have momentarily forgotten about her sadness. Lily bit her lip. It was a distraction for her…didn't she need that? Would it be selfish _not _to tell them?  
Lily scoffed inwardly. What was she even thinking?

Hestia prodded Lily's arm. "Hello? Tell us!"  
She sighed and looked over at James, who was laughing at something Sirius had done to Peter.  
"Well…when I was in the Hospital Wing after that thing with Amos, he stayed with me the entire time. We talked…" She trailed off, leaving the girls waving their hands.  
"C'mon Evans, Merlin!"  
That had come from Marlene.  
"We talked and...and we just kissed, okay!"  
Alice squealed. Marlene and Hestia grinned.  
Lily put her head in her hands, hiding her red face. She was very aware that James and the rest of the marauders were sitting a few seats away. She was in a very vulnerable position.  
Marlene or Hestia could just walk right over there and-  
"Oi, Potter!" Marlene shouted, smiling. James looked up, his eyebrows raised in confusion. "Have something to confess to?" She winked as James blushed, looking over at Lily.

She refused to look up, mortified. But in the back of her mind, she was glad that Marlene was acting like her former self. She supposed it also took James's mind off the grief. But to her it sounded like he hadn't accepted his parent's death yet. He was floating in denial, forcing himself to think of other, less important things...like Lily.

* * *

James had turned beetroot, blinking quickly at Marlene. "Don't know what you're talking about." He said back. Sirius and the others looked at him, questioning. He sighed and shrugged.  
He felt bad, thinking about Lily Evans.  
His parents had been murdered and he was thinking about a girl? That didn't seem right.  
But then the familiar voice of Mary Potter chimed in to his thoughts.  
_'Oh don't waste your life mourning us son. We want you to be happy!'  
_Then his father.  
_'Don't be an arse James! Don't let this girl go…'  
_James sighed.  
Hearing dead people in his head?  
Bloody hell, he thought, not exactly the best sign.

"I'm heading up." He said to the boys. He could feel a headache coming on and wanted to sleep more than anything.  
"Alright," Sirius said, suddenly looking sombre again, as if his sudden hyper rush was ending. "Goodnight."

* * *

Lily went to bed late and woke early on Saturday morning. She had two day's extra sleep that meant she didn't even feel a little tired.  
Looking at the clock, she saw that it was just past 6.  
She dressed in her old jeans and a jumper before leaving the Gryffindor Tower and heading to the Great Hall.  
What she found there was extremely strange. There wasn't one single person there. Nobody!  
Not even a teacher. The food was all just sitting there, utterly untouched. She supposed it was a Saturday morning and people were tired after a week's worth of classes and early starts.  
Lily sat in the middle of the table and grabbed two pieces of toast. She felt foolish, sitting all by herself at such a large table.  
It was also silent, so the clanging of her lifting a knife sounded extremely loud.  
Each bite Lily took seemed as loud as an earthquake in comparison.

After around 10 minutes a few early risers began drifting in, heading to their own tables; still no Gryffindors though. Two Ravenclaw first years were looking nervous, talking loudly about the essay they had to complete for Potions. A single Hufflepuff boy was absentmindedly stirring his tea, eyes fixed on a book that he had perched up against two empty goblets.  
The next person in made Lily turn around abruptly, trying to hide her face. Alas, bright red hair did tend to make her more than conspicuous. She could hear his footsteps hitting off the hard floor as he made his way closer to her. A shadow fell over her and Lily looked up, seeing the face of Amos Diggory staring down at her. He looked uncomfortable.  
"I have nothing to say to you." Lily said harshly.  
"I'm sorry." Amos said quietly. "I didn't meant to hurt you."  
"Well you did!" She snapped, careful to keep her tone hushed. "You _stabbed _me, did you think I was just going to be okay with that?"  
Amos looked down, staring at his feet.  
"I'm not a good person." He said. Lily rolled her eyes.  
"You think?"  
"I…I won't tell anyone about Lupin."  
"How considerate of you." Said Lily sourly.  
He nodded quickly, stepping back.  
"I won't bother you again." He breathed out deeply. "And I am truly sorry Lily."  
Lily returned to her toast, ignoring him. She didn't look up until she heard him disappear.

* * *

James yawned. He felt unbelievably tired, yet he just couldn't sleep. All of his friends were still sound asleep.  
He remembered everything that had happened the previous day; it all seemed so unreal. Were his parents really gone?  
Yes.  
James nodded to himself. They're gone and they will never be back.  
How did he feel?  
Nothing. He felt _nothing. _  
_What is wrong with me? _He thought.  
Perhaps it just hadn't hit him yet.  
Perhaps it wouldn't hit him for days, weeks.  
But he'd seen other people lose parents, and he'd seen them crumble; break down under the grief.  
That scared James.  
He didn't want to feel those emotions, but it was an obligation, wasn't it?  
He supposed he just didn't know how to handle it. How could you possibly prepare for something so unexpected?  
James shook his head. You couldn't. No one can.  
But you have to get on with it. _Live._

James knew that the funeral was in two days, and he knew that he would have to speak at it. He'd have to look at the two wooden boxes, see his parents buried in the ground…  
That worried him. How could he cope with that?  
Sirius let out a muffled snore and James looked over at his best friend.  
That's how he would cope; he'd have Sirius with him. And Remus and Peter.  
Standing by his side.

And then when it was over and he'd said goodbye, James promised himself he would move on.  
No, he thought, 'moving on' wasn't the right was to put it. You can never really _move on_ from such a thing. They'd always be there in the back of his mind, and the sadness would be there too, trying to barge its way to the forefront, but he'd try his best to keep it at bay.  
Because James knew that he had his whole life ahead of him.  
He smiled at the thought.


	29. Never have I ever

**AN:/ 'Lo guys(: Hope you enjoy this chapter:D**

After breakfast Lily returned to the common room and settled herself by the window. Already a heavy rain was storming onto the grounds, pulled horizontally by the strong winds. She could barely see the spot where she had sat with James yesterday.

The weather really was messed up, but Lily could see that it went with the overall mood of the students of Hogwarts. A sunny day would have seemed ridiculous, what with all of the deaths and parents confirmed to be missing.  
She'd heard just this morning from a Ravenclaw in her year that a muggle born 1nd year had left Hogwarts in the early hours of the morning, after his father was killed amongst many other muggles, confirmed to have been the works of Voldemort himself.  
The worst thing was that Lily no longer felt shocked.  
She was certain that little Roger Moore wouldn't be the last to lose a parent at the hands of dark forces.

A copy of the weeks Daily Prophet was sitting on the table across from her. Lily picked it up and scanned the front cover.

'_45 year old Boris Baxter is released from St Mungos after his traumatic experience with a doxy, see full interview on page 3.'_

'_Bertie Bott's Beans: A fun treat with deadly consequences'_

Lily rolled her eyes.  
Honestly, who really cared about all of that? Did it warrant front-page news?  
The ministry were clearly trying to hush all of the bad business up, to avoiding worry and fear spreading. Because so many witches and wizards swear by the prophet, if they don't print about Voldemort, he doesn't exist.

But Dumbledore had told them all at the opening feast, that bad times were approaching and things were going to change. And if Lily had to pick a side, to believe the ministry or Dumbledore, it would be Dumbledore's every time.

The rest of the girls, who had decided not to go into Hogsmeade because of the weather, joined Lily a short while later.  
"Merlin, I am so bored." Hestia said, groaning. She was spread out on a sofa, her hair falling off the edge of the arm.  
Alice, who was sitting cross-legged with her back to the fire, nodded. "I know, I've done all of my homework."  
"We should do something fun." Said Marlene, sitting up straighter. Lily looked over.  
"I mean, everyone has been so depressed and I know we have a reason to be," She frowned before continuing. "But seriously, we should get the marauders down, play some games."  
Lily bit her lip. As good as that did sound, she wasn't sure. No matter who he was, James had lost his parents just yesterday, and she had no idea how he would be today. Sirius too, surely wouldn't be in the mood.  
"Well," She said slowly. "I suppose we could ask them."

* * *

By the time James had a shower and got dressed, the others were finally beginning to wake up. Sirius stumbled his way past him and slammed the bathroom door shut. Peter rubbed his eyes and said something that James found difficult to understand.  
Remus had his hands clenched on either side of his head, looking pale.  
"My favourite day again." He said through gritted teeth. James smiled sympathetically. Tonight he would finally find out if the lycanthropy had passed on. He tried not to be too anxious as he didn't feel anyway ill unlike Remus who looked ready to throw up at any minute.  
Remus looked at James, searching for any sign of pain.  
"It's alright, Moony." Said James. "I feel fine."  
The werewolf nodded, relaxing his head back onto the pillow.

James watched Remus fall asleep, his forehead dotted with beads of sweat. Every so often he would wince or twitch in his sleep. Peter had fallen asleep again after getting tired of waiting for Sirius to get out of the bathroom. James got up and banged on the door.  
"Padfoot! What the hell are you doing in there?"  
There was a shuffling noise from behind the door, and Sirius appeared looking spectacularly the same as he ever had, not warranting the hour he took to get dressed.  
Sirius pouted. "What?"  
James rolled his eyes and turned back to Peter. He walked over and kicked his stomach. The mousy boy jumped up, gasping. "I didn't take your kettle!"  
Sirius walked to stand beside James.  
"Pete, I don't even want to know why you were dreaming of stealing a kettle."  
Peter crossed his arms.  
"I wasn't stealing, I was accused wrongly."  
James zoned out the usual banter and walked over to the window. The weather was absolutely dreadful.  
"We are not going to Hogsmeade today." He said, looking over at Peter and Sirius. They didn't hear him, or if they did they didn't respond. James sighed and glanced at Remus, who had turned onto his side with his hand covering his face. He was about to tell Peter and Sirius to shut up when there was a knock on the door.

Sirius looked up at the door and then looked over at Remus.  
"Should we ignore it?" He asked. James walked past him.  
"No, I'll see who it is."  
He turned the handle and opened the door a fraction. He lurched his hand forward by accident when he saw Lily, Marlene and Hestia looking back at him. Lily immediately looked over his shoulder. He saw her eyes gazing around the room, looking at Remus in particular. Her eyes widened in understanding.  
"Oh, sorry James…Mar, we should go."  
Of course, Marlene knew nothing about Remus's condition, so she appeared to mistake Lily's anxiety as embarrassment.  
"Lily wise up, just because you two have had, lets say, an _intimate moment _together, doesn't mean we can't talk to the boy!"  
Lily turned and glared at her friend and James felt his cheeks warm.  
"Oh, uh…um…" He stuttered for a moment, and was saved by Sirius who appeared behind James's shoulder. He pushed James out of the room and closed the door so they were in the hall facing the three girls.  
"Ladies. Evans." He said.  
Lily stamped on his foot.  
"Merlin woman!" Sirius shouted. "No need for physical violence!"  
She snickered.

Marlene cleared her throat.  
"We're dying of boredom down there and wondered if you guys want to come have some fun." She turned to Sirius. "And no, idiot, I do not mean _that _kind of fun."  
James turned to his friend. Thinking for a moment about Remus, whether he'd be okat with them leaving him. Sirius shrugged and then nodded. He seemed to think it would be fine.  
"I don't see why not."  
"Well um, If you don't want to because of, well…uh you know…yes um-" Lily breathed deeply, seemingly struggling to find an end to that sentence. James shook his head.  
"We'd love to, I just want to act normal...remember?"  
Lily nodded; she remembered their talk too. He didn't want anyone walking on eggshells around him.  
A smile slowly spread across her face.  
"Right then, _Potter." _Grinned Lily. "Crack open the firewhiskey." And with that she turned and walked swiftly away, Marlene and Hestia behind her.  
They stood staring after them for a moment, James smiling slightly at Lily, remembering what it felt like to be close to her and hear her laugh. He figured Sirius was probably just staring at their arses.  
"She's bloody bonkers." Said Sirius.

* * *

Lily sat down on the sofa by herself. Alice and Frank were cuddled up on a one seater; she had no idea when he'd got there. Marlene and Hestia were occupying the sofa opposite hers, chatting fast about whether they should play truth or dare, but deciding it was more of a third year game.  
The common room was mostly empty, it seemed most had braved the weather and gone to Hogsmeade. Those under third year were probably at lunch by now. An annoyed looking seventh year was sitting writing at the other side of the room and three tiny first years were playing a game of wizard's chess.  
After 10 or so minutes the boys arrived, though Lily noted Remus's absence. She'd guessed it must be full moon after seeing her friend's state. She just hoped that the others wouldn't notice he was missing.  
James sat down beside Lily and her stomach lurched at his closeness. He smiled, passing her a bottle of butterbeer.  
"Is this the alcoholic one?" Said Lily, not sounding too concerned. In truth she wasn't concerned at all. A break from everything tense at the moment would be welcomed.  
James frowned.  
"Yeah," He bit his lip. "I can run down to the kitchens if you want and get you something-"  
"No, no." Lily said, twisting the lid off. "This will do." She grinned.  
Sirius had handed the others a bottle each, setting the rest on the coffee table.  
"Where do you stash all of these?" Hestia said before taking a gulp. Sirius raised a hand to his chest.  
"Marauder's secret, if I told you I'm afraid I'd have to turn you into a snail."  
Hestia rolled her eyes.

About half an hour later Lily was starting her third bottle. A warm feeling had settled inside her, making the grin impossible to drop from her face. James was laughing, looking over at Sirius. She studied his profile, marking how his nose was crooked and his glasses were perched precariously on the edge. His hair was the same messy state as always, something that had once infuriated Lily but now made her smile.  
Sirius tapped his bottle off the table, making everybody go quiet. The seventh year had left 10 minutes ago, glaring at the party. Sirius had ushered the first years from the common room.  
"Let's play a game."  
"We're not playing Truth or dare, Sirius." Said Marlene, sounding bored.  
"I never said we were! I have a better game!"  
Lily sighed. She imagined that Sirius's games were never good and almost always ended in someone doing something they would regret.  
"Oh yeah?" Said Alice. "What?"  
"It's called Never have I ever."  
Lily snorted. She'd played this game before she went to Hogwarts, with her old friends. Of course there had been no alcohol involved then.  
"How do you know that game?" She asked.  
Sirius shrugged. "Couple of muggleborn friends in Seventh year told me about it a while ago. And I love it."  
"Explain the rules to us please!" Hestia said, looking excited.  
"Basically," Lily said. "The person says something like 'never have I ever ate three pizzas' and if you _have_ done that thing, you drink. Basically it's just a slightly more clever way to get completely rat arsed and embarrass yourself at the same time."

She looked around at her friends, who were nodding slowly. "Alright, sounds good." Said Marlene. "You go first Sirius."  
The boy smirked, tapping his chin thoughtfully.  
"Okay…never have I ever tried to snog a doxy."  
Everyone looked at Sirius, raising his or her eyebrows. Surely no one would…  
Peter took a sip of his drink, turning beetroot. Sirius burst out laughing, throwing his head back.  
"No fair!" The other boy said. "You did that on purpose!"  
Lily stared at Peter. "Do I even want to know?" She asked James.  
But he too was laughing so hard that his drink had dropped from his hand. Lily rolled her eyes and cleaned the mess away with her wand.  
"Moving on…" She said, giggling. "Your turn then Peter."

The mousy boy bit his lip, thinking.  
"Never have I ever…gone to class drunk." Sirius and James smirked at each other and took a drink. To Lily's surprise, Marlene and Alice drank too, looking guilty  
"Alice? Mar?" She said. "When did this happen?"  
Marlene pushed her hair behind her ears.  
"I mean I wouldn't say _drunk _drunk, but it was in fourth year…we just wanted to try firewhiskey. You can guess why we didn't tell you. Hestia opted out."  
Lily shook her head, grinning.

Marlene went next, saying 'never have I ever skinny dipped in the lake.' Sirius, James and Peter drank, claiming that one time in second year they'd got a little over excited about being rebels and had ended up nearly freezing to death. Next up was Alice, who asked a question that everyone drank to except for Lily. Then for Frank's turn, she also didn't drink.  
It was sort of depressing if she was honest. Having spent her years at school trying to be perfect, she'd never really done anything spontaneous. So when Lily had to say something, she found it difficult to think of a good one.  
"Never have I ever…got a detention?" She said, feeling embarrassed at how rubbish that was. Of course, everyone drank again.  
James, now a little bit more than tipsy having drank at every single one so far, raised his glass and chuckled. "Never have I ever kissed Marlene McKinnon!"  
Marlene barked out a laugh as Sirius drank yet again.

When it was Peter's turn again, he was definitely what you could call plastered. His face was red and his eyes kept shifting from person to person. He decided to copy James's question, though altered slightly, to Lily's horror.  
"Never have I ever kissed Lily Evans!"  
Silence.  
James froze, his smiled faltering. Marlene, Alice and Hestia turned their heads to him; waiting to see of he'd admit it.  
Sirius tipped the last contents of the firewhiskey bottle down his throat, and Lily was reminded of her first kiss…  
So he remembered too.  
Lily turned purple and looked down at her feet.  
Out of the corner of her eye though, she registered that James hadn't drunk yet. He was glancing around, his hand shaking. She looked up at him, questioning.  
He should have taken a drink by now.  
What was he thinking?

Abruptly, James set the glass on the table and stood up.  
"This game is stupid." He said, before rushing up the boy's stairs.

* * *

**In response to a review saying that James parents might have died of natural causes due to the speculations around Charlus and Dorea Potter being the parent's of James, I realise that JK did say that his parents died naturally and that is a mistake of mine. But I think that Charlus was just a relative of James, because if he and Dorea _were_ James' parents, technically Harry would be related to a lot of the people which he knew at Hogwarts, and it is well known that Harry did not have any living relatives besides the Dursleys. Just my opinion, and no one really knows except for Jo herself:) x**


	30. Telling the truth

**AN:/Fluffiness incoming:')**

Lily stood up abruptly, rage firing through her. The girls were all looking at her with pitiful looks, whilst Sirius and Peter looked confused as to why she even looked mad. She clenched her fists; they only knew about the kiss on the train, the time when she had hated James. So he hadn't even told them about the one in the Hospital Wing? Was he too ashamed?  
Lily took a step towards the girl's dormitory, but shook her head. She was too angry to just let this go. She needed to see James.  
Without looking back Lily rushed over to the stairs and climbed them.  
"Potter!" She shouted, voice cracking. She reached the top and saw James push a hand through his hair as he approached the door.  
Lily sped up, reaching him. He spun around, and before he even had time to open his mouth Lily slapped him. His head was forced to the side and he swore loudly. Lily stepped back, breathing heavily.  
Her hand was aching already.

James looked down at her, his expression hard to analyze.  
"What the hell was that?" Said Lily, still short of breath.  
James sighed deeply, his head falling.  
"I'm sorry," He said quietly.  
Lily fired up again. "_Sorry?" _She forgot for a moment that this boy was still meant to be grieving, consumed in her fury. "Do you know how humiliating that was for me? You asshole!"  
He nodded his head.  
"Lily, come on, I don't know why I-"  
"Neither do I!" She shouted, cutting him off. "Are you too embarrassed? Is that it? You can't admit that you kissed me?" Her voice lowered, showing a certain amount of insecurity.  
"If you don't like me, then at least tell me."  
James threw his hands up. "Of course I like you Lily! I just…I don't know, okay? I'm so confused!"  
Lily's fingernails dug into the skin of her hands.  
He continued.  
"Everything was going so well, you know? That day in the hospital wing, it was amazing. And then it all went wrong."  
Lily bit her lip. It was hard to be angry with him whenever he was in such a bad state. She looked into his eyes and saw tears there.  
"I feel terrible, for thinking about you when they're gone! Anytime I feel happy, when I laugh…it's like I'm disgracing them for not crying and being sad."  
A tear began to make its way down his face but James wiped it away before it could pass the bridge of his nose.  
"And I know that I'm supposed to get on with my life but I can't! I thought I could cope with this, Lily. But I can't. And I'm sorry."  
Lily looked down at her feet.  
"I shouldn't have slapped you." She said quietly. "I was just angry and I-"  
"It's okay." Said James, his voice was empty.

"The funeral, it's tomorrow." He said slowly. "And I don't want to go."  
Lily's eyes shot up.  
"What? James of course you have to go."  
He nodded his head.  
"I know, but I'm afraid…I don't want to see them, I don't want to see my family. I don't want to talk about where Sirius and I will be living from now on, because I'm scared."  
He started shaking, trying to hold in the emotions. Lily had known that this was going to happen. He'd passed the stage of denial and now finally he was cracking. Unable to help it, she pulled him into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes.  
"It's going to be alright." She whispered softly into his ear.  
Lily could feel his tears falling onto her shoulder and seeping through her t-shirt.

After a few minutes, James stopped crying. His breathing returned to normal though when he pulled back slightly, Lily saw that his eyes were red behind his glasses.  
"I'm terrified Lily." He admitted. "Of the future. Merlin…of Christmas," He gulped. "My first Christmas without them."  
He breathed in shakily.  
"You won't be alone." Said Lily. "Sirius will be with you, and if you're staying at school…I could too."  
He shook his head. "No, you need to be with your family Lil's."  
Lily shrugged. "Christmas is months away. Who knows what will have happened by then."

James put his head back on Lily's shoulder and pulled her in again. Absentmindedly, she began to touch the bottom of his hair, twirling the ends between her fingers. He shivered.  
Slowly, James raised his head and looked at her. Lily moved her hands from his hair and steadied them on his arms.  
Her eyes were caught in his, a deep hazel colour magnified by his glasses.  
"What happened with you and Amos?" He said suddenly. Lily froze, her arms falling to her sides. She had not expected him to ask that question.  
"What do you mean?" She said briskly.  
"Why did you go out with him?"  
Lily cast her eyes down but James caught her face in his hands and tilted it back up.  
"Lily?"  
She sighed.

"That night when Amos and I snuck into Remus's house…"  
"Yeah."  
"Well, he wanted to go over there because he heard screaming…h-he'd been told by others that Remus was a werewolf, and thought that he would find out if the rumours were true. I tried to stop him James, I did." Lily felt herself tear up and swallowed.  
"He didn't see Remus transform, but he knew. He figured it out for himself. And, and he told me that he'd tell everyone-"  
James gasped.  
"I pleaded with him, and he finally said he wouldn't tell anyone if I'd…if I'd do anything he said."  
James stiffened.  
"I-I was scared, James. I agreed because I couldn't let anything happen to Remus."  
Eventually, James nodded. His eyes were dark, furious.  
"That son of a-"  
"Look James," Said Lily. "It's over now. He's told me he won't say anything…h-he feels terrible about hurting me."

"Did he force you into anything?" James said, his eyes wide. "Did he?"  
Lily shook her head. "He, he kissed me…but nothing more, I promise."  
James sighed, looking relieved.  
"You did all of that, just for Remus? You were abused, sent to the hospital wing for a friend?" He smiled slightly.  
Lily shrugged, feeling self-conscious. "Of course, I couldn't let that happen."  
James brought his hands up to cradle her face.  
"You're incredible, Lily."  
She shook her head slightly. "Not really, I-"  
Before she could finish, James leaned down at kissed her gently, carefully.  
He pulled back.  
"Thank you," He whispered. "For saving him."  
Lily smiled and kissed him this time, placing her hands on his waist as James pulled her in tighter.

They hadn't even noticed that the door to the marauders dormitory had been open a crack, a frail boy peering out as he held in the cough he was aching to let out.  
And they didn't notice the door closing softly either.


	31. Eavesdropping

**AN:/200 reviews!:D Yay:3 Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed and made this story one of their favourites3  
****Bit of a filler chapter hear I'm afraid, but hope you enjoy anyway!**

Sirius tapped his foot against the floor, glancing around impatiently. James and Lily had disappeared half an hour ago, and the shouting had halted ten minutes after that. Now there was silence. He along with Peter, Marlene, Hestia, Alice and Frank were straining their ears to try and hear what was going on.  
"Maybe one of us should go check what's happening." Hestia said. "Lily could of killed the boy."  
Sirius scoffed, but he had to admit it was strange.  
He jumped up. "Alright, I'm his best friend so I'll go see."

As he approached the stair well though, he turned and saw the others just behind him.  
"We're Lily's best friends too!"  
"And Frank?" Sirius raised his eyebrow to the boy.  
"I'm not sitting down here by myself." He had his arm slung around Alice's shoulders. Sirius shrugged.  
"Whatever Longbottom."

So the party of six climbed the stairs, Sirius at the front. He turned around and put his finger to his lips when he reached the door that opened into the hallway beyond.  
"Everyone shut up, I think I hear something!"  
He pressed his ear to the door and heard whispering, then silence again, then whispering once more.  
He took a step back and his foot found something hard. Peter jumped, swearing loudly. Sirius had landed on top of his foot. Everyone glared at Peter and told him to be quiet whilst he hopped on one foot, face red.  
"You arse, Wormtail." Hissed Sirius. Peter raised his hands and mouthed an apology. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned his attentions back to the door. He pressed his ear against it once more and registered Marlene stepping forward and placing her head beside his. She had her eyes cast upwards, biting her lip. Sirius stared at her for a moment. He could smell her perfume, the cinnamon scent he loved so much. It made him sad. They'd drifted apart, well, they'd never exactly been a couple, but escaping between classes to empty broom closets with her used to be the highlight of his day. He shook his head slightly.  
_You're Sirius Black, what the ruddy hell, are you thinking? What would James say? _The words James had said to him months ago still echoed around in his head.  
'_I know you, mate, you'll never get married…or even have a steady girlfriend. It's not what you do!'  
_Sirius sighed. It would be nice to have Marlene as his girlfriend. To be able to… to hold her hand like Frank so lovingly held Alice's. It was tough keeping the image of Sirius Black up. He had to keep his mind constantly alert, in search for witty things to add to the conversation. It didn't come naturally to him, the humour. Merlin, he came from the Black Family! He didn't exactly grow up surrounded by laughter and jokes. Still, Sirius liked being funny, being the clown. But did that really mean he could never be taken _(no pun_) seriously? The idea of him growing up, having a couple of kids, and living a mature, adult life was laughable even to him.

He shook his head, reminded of the task at hand. He had no idea how he'd even got onto that topic anyway. Just what were Lily and James doing behind the door? Now _that _was more interesting.  
Slowly, he bent down and peered through the keyhole.

It took a moment to comprehend just what he was looking at. Sirius's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He threw his head up so suddenly that he hit it off the door handle.  
"OWWWWWWW!" Sirius screeched; hand clamped onto the back of his head as everyone around him swore in annoyance.  
The group were silent for a moment, listening for a noise. There was a frantic shuffling, then nothing, then the door burst open.

Lily and James broke away from each other, having both heard the noise from just behind the door. She looked over at him nervously. He shook his head, raising his shoulders.  
Lily smoothed her hair down and approached the door in front of James. She looked back and saw that he was walking in a sort of daze, drifting along slowly behind her.  
Without hesitation, Lily twisted the handle and wrenched the door open.  
All of her friends stood, closely crowded around the door. They had guilty looks on their faces.  
"Yes?" Said Lily, smiling in a way that meant she really wanted to rip someone's hair out. Everyone took a step back, except for Peter. He looked over his shoulders; Sirius smirked not so sympathetically.  
Peter slowly turned back to face Lily, looking reluctant.

She had her hands set firmly on her hips. James was grinning behind her.  
"Well, um…you see, we uh…we were…mmm…" He trailed off, pausing to think. He nodded quickly. "You were gone and we…we were going to see…to see if Lily had hurt James!" Yelped Peter.  
Everyone behind him groaned, as Lily turned red.  
James stepped forward.  
"Yes yes, well as you can see Lily hasn't hurt me and everything is fine so if that's everything then we'll just get back to-"  
Lily cut him off.  
"Actually James," She smiled at him. "I have something to do in the library with the girls, but I'll see you later." She stepped over towards Marlene, but turned suddenly and kissed James on the cheek. Blushing, Lily grabbed Hestia's hand and rushed away. Alice, Marlene and Frank followed after them.

James stepped back and walked down the corridor to the dorm. He turned swiftly to Sirius and Peter.  
"This has been a great day." James said with a dreamy smile on his face.  
Peter's reply was cut off by a loud, hacking cough coming from within their room. Sirius frowned, looking at how dark it was getting outside. He looked at James, smiling grimly.  
"And It's about to get even better."


	32. Tutoring

**AN:/SORRY FOR THE WAIT!D: I've got exams in the next couple of weeks so I'm afraid the updates won't be as often for a while :'(**

Lily linked arms with Hestia and Marlene as they walked along the corridors towards the library. Alice had left them in the common room, preferring to stay with Frank. She found herself unable to wipe the grin off of her face. Yes, it was tragically immature and clichéd, but she couldn't think of a time where she'd been happier than this.  
It was like seeing him in a new light. In previous years James had been the bane of her life; a constant nagging annoyance that would just not go away. But now she had seen the real side to him. He was different and the same in all of the right ways.  
He was James.

She could sense Marlene and Hestia staring at her, but Lily stared resolutely ahead.  
Marlene pinched her arm slightly and Lily jumped, meeting the eyes of her friend.  
"Tell us what happened!" Begged Marlene. "When you left us you were furious at him and then when we found you two you were all cuddly and acting like a couple!"  
Lily grinned. She had to admit that if she were Marlene or Hestia, she'd be pretty confused too.  
"I don't know, I was annoyed at him for not admitting that he had kissed me again, but we talked about it and I understand his reasons. It's fine."  
Marlene rolled her eyes.  
"You two are so dramatic." Hestia scoffed.  
Lily stuck her tongue out and walked on ahead of them.  
"So tell us Lil's," Said Marlene, and Lily could tell she was smirking. "Is he a good kisser?"

Lily laughed.  
She turned slowly and grinned. "The best."  
Marlene and Hestia jumped forwards and hugged her. They were busy squealing into her ears, and Lily snorted at how unlike her the whole thing was.

* * *

James sighed and turned the door to their room. He saw Remus, standing next to his bed looking like he was about to fall over.  
"Remus!" Sirius shouted, rushing over to support the sick boy. "What the hell are you doing up?"  
Remus allowed Sirius to usher him back to bed and pull the covers over him. All the while, James was standing still, his heart rate beating.  
Why _had _Remus been out of bed?  
Surely he hadn't been eavesdropping…but Lily and him had been right outside the door, and Lily was shouting at first. He must have heard. James stared at his friend, trying to gauge his expression. But Remus was staring hard at the ceiling, his eyes sticking out against his pale face.  
Sirius sat down on his own bed and Peter joined him. Which left James to stand over Remus, he clenched the corners of his t-shirt with his hands.  
"Moony?" He said quietly. Remus looked over and James saw the look in his eyes. Oh, he knew.  
"Moony, don't feel bad, it's not your-"  
"Not my fault?" Remus said with a surprising fierceness. "I think it is, James! She was put into the hospital wing because of me!"  
James was aware of Sirius and Peter's confused looks. They didn't know a thing.  
"Do you know how that makes me feel?" Remus continued. He paused, a hacking cough escaping his lungs. James breathed out. He ran a hand through his hair. "She did it because you mean a lot to her, Remus. Lily couldn't let Amos hurt you."  
"So he hurt her instead!" Shouted Remus.  
"She didn't know-"  
But Remus wouldn't let him speak. "Do you know how embarrassed I am? Amos Diggory knows my secret! And I was letting Lily do all kinds of terrible things, without even knowing-"  
"Exactly!" Said James. "You didn't know; you couldn't of known! Amos won't tell anyone mate, I promise."

"Someone care to inform me about what you arse's are arguing over?"  
Sirius said. James glared over at him.  
"It'll take too long to explain, it's finished now anyway."  
"_Finished?" _Shouted Remus, his voice cracking. He winced, obviously in pain. "This has only just begun! If you think Diggory will just forget about this, you're insane!"  
"Mate come on, Lily said-"  
Remus raised a shaking hand. "Oh whatever James," He closed his eyes for a moment. "Why don't you just go find _Lily,_ you clearly don't understand _anything_!" His sentence ended in a sort of deep growl, which shocked James. Remus was always so calm, never raising his voice. But James saw the fierceness locked in his eyes, and knew that his emotions were always exaggerated before a transformation.  
"Fine." He said quietly. "I'll be back before you have to leave." With that James left the dorm, not having a clue where to go.

* * *

Lily, Marlene and Hestia settled down in the back of the library, where it was warmest. Even whilst finishing some transfiguration homework, Lily could not stop smiling. Eventually Marlene dropped her quill, giving her an annoyed look.  
"What?" Lily laughed.  
"You are being infuriating."  
"Well sorry for smiling."  
"Smile somewhere else. I've got an entire potions essay to do and my head is sore from the firewhiskey earlier, so leave."  
"Merlin," Said Lily, standing up.  
Marlene picked up her quill again. "Oh don't look at me like that, we all know I've just given you an excuse to see James and snog the face off him."  
Lily rolled her eyes and slapped Marlene lightly on the shoulder.  
"That's disgusting." She said, turning away.  
"It's so true though." Hestia said.  
Lily blushed and walked on out of the library.

Lily had no idea where to go or what to do. It was still freezing outside, and she had no coat with her. The common room would be deserted and all of her friends were busy. Lily was just thinking of visiting the Owlery when she noticed someone bustling around the corner of the hall. She winced, trying to turn around and pretend she hadn't seen him but it was too late.

"Lily dear!" Professor Slughorn boomed. Lily turned around and smiled at the robust teacher.  
"Hello professor." She said, trying not to sound dreary.  
"My, my, I haven't seen you at one of my get togethers for quite some time!"  
"Oh, yes well I've been rather busy actually-"  
"Ah no matter!" The red faced man said, grabbing a hold of Lily's arm. "I was actually thinking of hosting a little party on Tuesday night! Invitation only of course, but I'd be overjoyed if you would come? "  
Before Lily could even think of possible ways to turn him down politely, Slughorn had nodded his head briskly and chuckled.  
"I'll see you there then!" He grinned widely, and she shrugged his grip on her off.  
"…I, uh…yeah, sure Professor." She sighed quietly. "I'll be there."  
"8 o'clock my dear!" Slughorn shook her shoulders slightly before toddling off in the other direction.

Lily briskly turned around in the opposite direction and was about to round the corner when she heard loud footsteps returning to her side.  
"Lily, I forgot to say," Slughorn panted, out of breath.  
"I've got a couple of first years who are really having trouble with potions. I was wondering if you could perhaps give them a little helping hand?" He lent in closer and Lily could smell the fruity scent coming off his breath; crystallized pineapple, as always.  
"You really are marvellous at the subject and I reckon they'd listen to you more." Lily almost groaned, but she couldn't be rude to the man. She'd have to let him down lightly…  
"Well, sir…ah, why don't you get Severus to do it?"  
Slughorn shook his head.  
"Oh I have my dear, but he seemed unwilling to help at all. Said he was busy enough with his own studying."

Lily turned her head around and rolled her eyes. And she _didn't_ have better things to do? Than teach whiny first years how to brew a potion properly?  
"He could perhaps be persuaded if you were going to do it with him, I could-"  
"No!" She shouted. "I, uh…I mean…fine. I'll do it."  
Slughorn beamed.  
"Brilliant! So shall we go?"  
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Go where?"  
"To the potions room! I can get a few first years together in no time. That is of course, you aren't doing anything?"  
Lily sighed.  
"Nope, that's fine."  
She half-heartedly followed Slughorn's footsteps to the bottom of the school.

When they got there though, things went steeply downhill in no time.  
"Oho! Severus!" Professor Slughorn shouted as they approached his classroom door. "Changed your mind then? I hoped you would!"  
But Severus wasn't exactly listening very intently to the man. He was unabashedly staring at her. Lily glared at him and walked swiftly past into the classroom. She swore under her breath. Why the hell had she agreed to this; hours in the dungeons with _Snivellus?_ And for how bloody long?

Lily kept her back to the door as she heard it being shut. Severus cleared his throat uncomfortably and she turned around.  
"What?" She hissed.  
"Nothing!" He said, his voice going up an octave.  
"Where's Slughorn gone?" Said Lily, not liking the fact that she was alone down here with possibly the creepiest boy at Hogwarts.  
"He's sending word to the first years who need tutoring." Lily rolled her eyes and turned her back on him again, but then felt paranoid at him staring at her, so she settled for sitting on a desk.  
Severus sat down at the one beside hers.

"How are you?" He said. Lily groaned. What had she done to deserve this?  
"Fine." She said quickly.  
"How are your friends?"  
Lily looked over at him. "You are so _weird. _They are also _fine."_  
Normally, she would try to be civil to Snape, but right now, with thoughts of what she could be doing instead of this, Lily really couldn't be bothered to tolerate him.  
"And Potter? How is he?" Lily glared at him, saw the snide smile he wasn't even trying to hide, and her anger rose.  
"What do you think?" She said coldly.  
"I don't know." He grinned, highlighting the lines under his eyes.  
"You're an arsehole." She said, standing up. "I can't believe I was ever friends with you."  
His smile faltered, but Snape was good at hiding any worries. Though Lily knew him well enough to notice.  
"What?" She said sharply. "Don't like me saying that?"  
Severus looked down.  
"I _hate _you." She said with false cheerfulness.

There was a silence. Then Snape stood suddenly.  
"Are you…dating him?" He said.  
Lily smirked. "If I was, I wouldn't tell _you."_  
Severus looked crushed. "You are…oh Merlin I can't believe this."  
Lily raised her eyebrow.  
"What's your problem?"  
"Lily, this time last year you hated him! Not me!"  
"Well clearly, things change!"  
"And I thought you had standards."  
"Excuse me!" Shouted Lily. "I have standards enough to know that I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole!"  
Severus stepped back, as if wounded. But Lily wasn't finished.  
"Honestly! Do you ever wash? Everyone can smell you coming from miles away!"

Severus, to her annoyance, smirked.  
"You sound like him, like Potter."  
"Good." She said defensively. Before he could reply, the door burst open. Slughorn appeared with five anxious looking students.  
"Everything alright? Shall we get started?"  
The first years took their seats and Slughorn disappeared into his supply room.  
Lily jumped when she heard a whisper, close to her ear.  
"It won't last, you know." Severus backed away from her, and entered the supply room after Slughorn.  
She was beyond furious. Unable to help herself, Lily raised her middle finger at his back. The first years giggled.


	33. Falling in

**AN:/Hope ya like this one, I enjoyed writing the end:'D Follow me on Twitter so we can be friends! emilyrose_1 :Dx**

"See Freddy?" Said Lily with gritted teeth. "The potion really wasn't that hard, was it?"  
The skinny boy in front of her shook his head, his glasses steamed up by the potion fumes. "Thank you Lily." He said, voice ridiculously high pitched. She smiled.  
"No problem. Empty your cauldron then I reckon you can go." Freddy jumped up and began to pack his things away.

Lily glanced around the room. Two more first years were left, and Severus seemed to be monitoring their progress just fine without her. She walked over to Professor Slughorn, who was marking essays at his desk.  
"Sir? I'm all finished."  
Slughorn looked up.  
"Marvellous, Lily dear. 30 points for Gryffindor, I think."  
Lily smiled. "Thanks. So, can I go now?"  
The teacher grinned and nodded. Lily breathed out. She'd be glad to get away from the dungeons. Severus kept sending her these strange, knowing looks.  
What a creepy git.  
She'd been down here for at least 2 hours and was ready to stick her head into a particularly bad attempt at a cure for boils.  
"I've been thinking, Lily." Slughorn said. "You and Severus have really helped the younger students. Would you be able to make this a weekly thing? Perhaps every Sunday evening?"  
The very thought made Lily want to throw up.  
"Oh…um,"  
"I understand you have your own studies to be getting on with my dear, but…" Slughorn lowered his voice. "I do have a rather high platform at this school, if you were to help me out, I could almost ensure your place as Head girl next year."

Lily paused.  
Head girl?  
She hadn't put much thought at all into her NEWT year, and had definitely not paused to think of her chances as Head girl. It would be nice though…  
She sighed.  
"Well…I, yes. I'll do it."  
A smiled burst across Slughorn's face.  
"Thank you ever so much my dear!" He placed a beefy hand on Lily's shoulder, shaking her roughly.  
"You can go now."

Lily grabbed her jumper and made her way to the door.  
"Don't forget about Tuesday, now!" Slughorn boomed. "Bring a guest!"  
She rolled her eyes and continued out of the door, ignoring Severus's attempt at a goodbye entirely.

By the time Lily reached Gryffindor tower, it was time for dinner. She quickly tied her hair up and walked back down to the great hall.  
The room was mostly full when she arrived. Lily spotted Marlene, Hestia and Alice eating along with Sirius, Peter and James.  
She headed over to them and sat beside Peter, the only available space.  
"Alright, Lily?" Marlene said. "Where did you disappear to?"  
She was about to tell them, when it crossed her mind how James would hate the fact that she had been spending her evening with Severus Snape. She didn't want to make him annoyed.  
"Oh, I was reading in the Astronomy Tower. Fell asleep." Lily rubbed her head. It would be impossible to keep it a secret for long, seeing as she was going to be locked in the Dungeons every Sunday night. She pushed the thought away as her stomach grumbled. She'd worry about that after an enormous helping of Shepherd's pie.

James was sat directly opposite Lily, smiling warmly. Lily smiled back and blushed into her dinner.  
"Did you get your homework done?" She asked Marlene and Hestia.  
Marlene nodded. "Yep. It was bloody endless! My hand is still sore."  
Sirius scoffed.  
"From writing." Hestia said sourly, looking away and taking a gulp of pumpkin juice.  
"Merlin woman!" Laughed Sirius. "Can't take a joke anymore I see?"  
"You're just not funny."  
"The population of Hogwarts begs to differ."  
"Arrogant arse."  
"Nice use of alliteration." Lily interjected, attempting to keep the conversation light. She had no idea what was up with Marlene and Sirius, but their tones suggested a fight. Lily knew all to well from Marlene's flushed red face and clenched knuckles. After all, she'd been through this with James many times before.  
They ignored her.

"I am not arrogant!" Sirius said hotly, whilst flicking his hair…ironic.  
Marlene laughed coldly. "Oh wise up, Black."  
Lily looked around anxiously. The use of surnames is never good.  
She caught James's eye. He shrugged.  
Peter was still eating; nonchalantly stuffing mashed potatoes into his mouth so fast he resembled a particularly fat hamster. Alice finished off her drink and made to get up.  
"Frank's just called me over." When it was clear Marlene and Sirius weren't going to reply, Alice looked over at Lily. "See you later then."  
Alice walked off speedily and Lily glared slightly at her back. Leaving her and James to sort out this oncoming drama.  
She tuned back into Sirius and Marlene's conversation. They were snapping out insults quicker than Lily could think of them.  
"Wow, guys…come on," James said, to no response.  
"Calm down," said Lily.

After about a minute, James gestured to the door. Lily looked over at Marlene, who was completely ignoring her.  
She nodded and jumped up. They left, the sounds of Sirius and Marlene's increasing voices echoing off the walls.

"We shouldn't of left." Laughed Lily.  
James nodded and grabbed her hand. "Yeah well, it's their problem." Lily smiled up at him. She felt the familiar shocks running through her, starting at where their hands touched.  
"Where are we going?" she asked.  
"I don't know," grinned James. "As long as we're back for…nineish."  
Lily frowned.  
"Full moon then?"  
James nodded half-heartedly.  
"I don't want to keep this from you," he said slowly. "But…Remus knows."  
Lily froze.  
"How?" She choked out.  
"He heard us fighting." Said James with a chuckle.  
Lily smiled. "Everyone hears us fighting." She glanced down at their interlocked hands. "Is he okay?"  
James shrugged. "He's embarrassed, feels bad for you…but he'll get over it."  
Lily nodded.  
"I'll talk to him when he's feeling better."

James led Lily outside, and they walked along the grounds. It was freezing, but that was just an excuse for James to cuddle her in and put her arm tight around her shoulders.  
"How are you?" Lily said.  
"I feel better." He said. "It's like…I'm not suffocating anymore. I've gotten all of the grief out. And, I think, once the funeral is over…I'll get on with it. They wouldn't have wanted me to become some soppy arse."  
Lily nodded. "I'm glad you're going to be okay." James looked down at her.  
"Thanks," he said.  
Lily stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.  
James pouted and she laughed, moving her lips down to his mouth.

After a certain amount of time, the broke apart and continued walking.  
"I'll never get used to that." Said James giddily. "My Lilyflower." He grinned.  
"Don't call me Lilyflower!" Lily snorted.  
James barked out a laugh.  
"Alright, Lily…flower." James apparently found his joke hilarious, and broke down in laughter.  
He let go of Lily and bent over on his knees, laughing like an idiot.  
Lily giggled. "That was so unfunny I'm finding it slightly funny." James reached out for her, but Lily jumped away from him. She walked quickly backwards, laughter increasing as she did so. James shot up and Lily began running. James was close behind her. Both were soon laughing uncontrollably.

"LILLLLYYY!" James shouted. Lily glanced back and saw James stumbling slightly as he ran, unable to focus due to his hysteria.  
"You'll never catch me!" She screamed, grinning madly and speeding up. They approached the edge of the lake and James still hadn't caught her.  
"I'm gonna throw you into the lake!" James spluttered with a laugh.  
Lily threw her head back, clutching her stomach, which was sore from the running and laughing.  
"Go for it!" She cackled. "You'll never get me. I'm too fast for-"  
James barrelled into her and Lily fell over.  
They tumbled dangerously close to the Lake's shore.  
"Oh my god, JAMES!" Lily yelled. "We're going to fall in!"  
James seemed to realise this, his face freezing for a moment. Unfortunately, he realised far too late. His foot shot off the side and plunged into the lake. He yelped.  
Lily screeched louder than she ever had in her life as she was submerged in the icy water. For a moment everything was silent, she forced her eyes open and saw a blurry version of James. Then they hit the surface, both screaming.  
"I'M SO COOOOOLD!" James howled.  
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Shouted Lily.

They looked at each other and burst out laughing simultaneously. James pulled her in close and kissed her, their feet tangling together.  
After a moment though, he pulled back.  
"I know this could be seen as a romantic moment and all, and I hate to ruin it…but I think my balls have fallen off."


	34. A romantic gesture

**AN: New chapter! Hope you enjoy:D  
****I think this story should be wrapping up soon, I don't want it to be like 50 chapters. But I think i'm definitely going to do a sequel, of seventh year. Do you think that's a good idea?:)x**

Sirius kicked the floor with his foot as he headed back to Gryffindor Tower. He was angry and pissed off.  
He really thought he liked Marlene, more than any of the other girls. But if it was going to be like this all of the time, was it really worth it?  
Sirius could easily find a willing girl, even prettier than Marlene, who would do whatever he said, laugh at all of his jokes. But was that boring?  
Did he really want a robot for a girlfriend?  
He sighed and pushed his hair away from his face. He now understood everything that James and Lily had gone through. He realised that James must love her a lot to put up with all of the fighting over the years.  
So, was he willing to do that for Marlene?  
Sirius didn't have a clue.

* * *

Remus crossed his arms and uncrossed them. He just couldn't get comfortable. He was lying on his bed facing the ceiling. The covers were tangled and he was too hot, but every time he moved a new spasm of pain passed through his body. He had no way of telling the time, but reckoned it must be around eight. Dinner would be over, and Madam Pomfrey would be up soon to get him to the shack.

He felt bad for shouting at James about Lily…it's not like he'd known what had been going on. But still, he was endlessly embarrassed. Letting a girl fight his battles for him?  
He was grateful to Lily for protecting him, but honestly, how was he going to even look at Amos?  
Of course, technically Lily had saved his life. If Amos had of told everybody he would have been forced to leave school, become an outcast, never get a proper job.  
But because of her, he still had a chance.

* * *

James shivered.  
He didn't think he'd ever been so cold in all of his sixteen years. He was sat on the banks of the Lake, and would be depressed, if it weren't for the girl sitting beside him.  
Lily had her head tucked into his neck, and his arms were tight around her waist. She had used a heating spell on them so their clothes weren't sopping wet, but that didn't do much to help the fact that it was still bloody freezing outside.  
So why didn't they go inside?  
James smiled. Out here, it was like all of the drama didn't exist. His parents were okay, Marlene and Sirius weren't fighting, Voldemort didn't exist…  
Out here by the lake, it was just Lily and he.  
"This is our spot." He grinned. Lily looked up.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Y'know, this is where we are. Where the good things have happened." He glanced around at the oak tree just metres back. "And the bad…but memories none the less."  
Lily laughed.  
"It's special!" Continued James. "We should mark it…as our territory."  
"Going to pee on the tree then?"  
James smirked and nudged her shoulder. "Don't ruin the moment."  
Lily smiled and stood up, grabbing his hand.  
She walked over to the tree and took out her wand.  
There were plenty of inscriptions etched onto the bark already. She frowned.  
"It's taken."

James shook his head.  
"I shall climb to the highest branch and write my love for you on the top of the tree."  
"You will break your neck."  
"It'll be romantic," James persisted, letting go of Lily and looking for a place to climb. He stuck his foot in a notch in the tree and reached up to the next branch.

Lily stepped back and watched James make slow progress up to the tree. When he reached a branch about 2 metres off the ground, he looked down at Lily.  
James's face was pale and his eyes were wide.  
"Lily?" He said in a shaky voice.  
"Yeah?"  
"I've just remembered something."  
"What?"  
"I'm bloody terrified of heights."  
Lily laughed and shook her head. James Potter, everyone…  
"You're Quidditch captain!"  
"Yeah," James called, his voice quivering. "But i'm safe on a nice magical broom that's holding me up. This is completely different!"  
"You're an arse!" She called up.  
"This isn't funny!" Moaned James.  
"Don't look down then, just keep going."

James rolled his eyes and continued climbing the tree, even slower than before. Lily laughed to herself as she watched him quiver and grumble to himself.  
When he finally reached the tallest branch, James settled himself on a sturdy branch and looked down.  
Lily made a heart with her fingers and smiled reassuringly. This seemed to give him a burst of energy.  
He took his wand out of his pocket and aimed it at the top of the tree.  
From where she was, Lily could see what he was writing.  
"Nearly finished!" James called down, shaking his hands above his head.

His extra movement proved too much for the old tree to take. The branch was evidently not as sturdy as it had seemed. With a loud crunch, the branch fell to the floor, James coming down along with it.  
"AAAAAAAHHHH LILYYYYY!" He screamed.  
Lily raised her wand and slowed his fall. James hit the ground and stood up, moaning and wiping leaves off of himself.  
"Bloody git, I hate this sodding tree. How ridiculous…" He mumbled on and Lily laughed, moving closer to the tree trunk. She looked up and saw James's message.  
Splayed across the wood in terrible handwriting, James had been writing,

"_Lily Evans and James Potter officially own this tree and all of it's surrounding land."_

Unfortunately, due to his nervousness and untimely fall, James had not succeeded in completing the message. Instead, it said:

"_Lil Evans and James Pooter officially own this treee and all of it's-"_

"Nice try, good effort." Said Lily, laughing.  
James moved to stand beside her.  
"Oh whatever." He said, a sad look on his face.  
Lily smiled and took his hands, kissing his cheek.  
"I love it." She said. "It's got character."  
Lily began walking along, pulling him behind her.  
"Come on Mr Pooter, you've got a long night ahead of you."

James reluctantly followed her, having completely forgotten about the full moon.  
But there it was, rising to the top of the sky as it lit their path back to the castle.

When he left Lily in the common room with an angry looking Marlene, James walked up to the dorm. He was worried that Remus would still be angry with him. Sirius might even be angry about him leaving him at the dinner table. But that short hour with Lily had been worth it all. It really was brilliant, being able to talk to her. He thought that after the funeral tomorrow, he would ask her out properly. They could finally go to Hogsmeade. James smiled.

He pushed open the door and found Peter and Sirius seated around the room.  
"Hullo." Said James somewhat sheepishly.  
Sirius looked moody, and ignored James completely.  
And Peter didn't seem to understand what was wrong at all, grinning widely at him.  
"Moony already down there?"  
Peter nodded. "Yep, it's 10 now…we should go soon."  
"Alright." He said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "Padfoot?"  
Sirius looked up.  
"What?"  
"Are you okay?"  
Sirius scoffed. "Yes. Why the bloody hell wouldn't I be?"  
"Well…because of Marlene."  
He rolled his eyes. "Minor tiff. I don't care."  
James nodded, deciding to leave it at that. Though he had a feeling that Sirius wasn't being completely truthful.  
"Right." Said Sirius, standing up and stretching his arms out. "Lets go."

* * *

Lily sat in the armchair right beside the fire, still shivering slightly.  
"Where are Hestia and Alice?"  
Marlene shrugged.  
"Alice is probably with Frank. Haven't a clue about Hestia."  
Lily could see that Marlene was upset, but she was trying her best to hide it.  
"Alright?"  
Marlene looked into the fire.  
"Yes…I'm okay."  
"What happened with you and Sirius?"  
Marlene sighed and shook her blonde hair over one shoulder.  
"I honestly don't know. I mean, it was never anything, well, _serious_. But he started acting strangely because he'd heard I'd kissed another boy. You know that hufflepuff seventh year? Adam Gilbert?"  
Lily nodded.  
"Yeah, well it all went from there. I don't know why he kicked up such a fuss. Everyone knows he goes to the astronomy tower almost every Wednesday night with that Caitlin Mellet."  
Lily nodded again.  
She didn't say it, but it sounded to her like Sirius was jealous. Maybe he really liked Marlene?

"You should talk to him." She said.  
Marlene laughed.  
"No offence, I don't think you're the best person to get advice from. I mean, you and James had the biggest feud in Hogwarts history!"  
"True…" She agreed. "But it's all worked out now." Lily grinned.

"Has he asked you out yet? Like, are you his girlfriend?"  
That made her smile falter. He hadn't asked her…but for a moment, the very thought scared her a little bit.  
If she was honest, Lily really didn't know James that well.  
They'd jumped from enemies to being an item, without pausing to be friends first.  
"No, he hasn't." She said slowly. "But, I think maybe…we should take it slow."  
"Like you don't want to be in a relationship with him?"  
Lily paused, and then shook her head.  
"No. I mean; I like hanging out with him like we are right now. But I think we should take the time to be friends first. Just friends."  
Lily turned back to the fire, wondering if she had said the wrong thing.

Just then, James, Sirius and Peter descended from the stairs. Lily saw James smile at her and he blew a kiss.  
Lily smiled awkwardly and turned away. Marlene had her eyes determinedly cast downwards, refusing to acknowledge Sirius.


	35. Bad timing

**AN:/Wow, finally a new chapter! Sorry for the delay, but exams got in the way. Ah that rhymed, didn't it XD I'm so cool...  
Haha anyway, CHAPTER 37! You might not be happy with this one, but it had to be done...sorrrrry**

The night went worse than James had thought possible.  
Remus had been moody before the transformation, so the wolf was practically hysterical.  
Sirius was in a strange mood, distracted. He hadn't been paying attention to Remus, and had earned a nasty looking scratch on his arm because of it. He then retreated to the shack, no doubt crawling up and having a nice little nap.  
Then Peter, who usually helped a little by running around the wolf's feet and confusing it, claimed he'd eaten too much at dinner and felt sick. He had stayed hidden safely behind a rock for almost the entire night.  
So James felt like he had had to keep Remus out of trouble all by himself; playing and kicking and chasing and fighting all night long.

And now, as he lay collapsed on his bed, he was exhausted and sore and annoyed. Sirius and Peter shouldn't of left him to do all of the work. When they decided to become Animagus to help their friend, they'd agreed to do everything they could to keep him safe.  
But it seemed James was the only one who remembered that.  
Thoughts swam around in his head; the funeral was tomorrow. But he didn't feel scared or worried…perhaps he was just too tired to. Dimly, he realised that the Lycanthropy obviously hadn't passed on to him. That was good.  
There was no time for any more logical thoughts. James was soon deeply asleep.

* * *

The next day, Lily didn't see any of the marauders around school, and it took her a moment to figure out why.  
The funeral.  
She felt almost annoyed that James hadn't come to see her before he left school, but then Lily reminded herself that she didn't want anything to happen with James.  
Not yet, at least.

She hoped he was all right though. She knew he'd had a late night with the full moon and everything.  
It would be hell, getting up and leaving school and facing all of those who suddenly acted like they knew him and knew what he was thinking when all James probably wanted to do was sleep.

Lily herself was having a rather uneventful Sunday. It was just after six o'clock. The weather was atrocious, rain splattering the paths and soaking anyone who dared to step outside. She was sat at a table in the common room, reading the Daily Prophet.  
A frown was slowly forming on Lily's face, lines creasing her forehead.  
It seemed the writers at the newspaper had given up trying to conceal the worrying happenings in the Wizarding World. Snarling faces of wanted witches and wizards lined the front page, offering a sizeable amount of gold for anyone with information on their whereabouts. There was an article about the increasing numbers of reported use of Unforgivable curses.

Times were changing. It was all finally happening. Everything Lily had been dreading and worse. She felt a feeling in her gut and realised it was fear. What if someone she knew was murdered? James's parents were gone already. For the first time, she wondered if anyone would come after James. Perhaps they wanted to kill off the entire family. Finish the job.  
The thought made her feel sick.  
Lily rested her head in her hands, staring down at the grains of wood. It was all too much to handle.  
She suddenly felt scared for her parents, hundreds of miles away, blissfully unaware of the approaching terror. Lily knew it was unlikely that they would be in any danger, but it still made her shudder.

Not wanting to read anymore, Lily left the paper and stood up. She stretched her arms out, feeling anxious. Her breathing was becoming shakier.  
She needed to calm down before she had a panic attack.  
There was no one sitting by the fire, so she walked over and sat on her favourite chair. Lily closed her eyes and set her head on the armrest. The fire was warming the top of her head, and she counted to 10 in her head.  
After calming down, Lily kept her eyes closed. She willed herself to fall asleep so she could forget everything for a little while.

"Lily!"  
She felt herself being shaken awake. Lily opened her eyes and rubbed them, James and Sirius coming into focus above her.  
"Oh…hey." She said thickly. "What time is it?"  
She looked over the boy's shoulders and saw it was dark outside.  
"About 9 I think." Said Sirius. He was wearing all black robes and a small smile.  
Lily nodded, looking over at James, who was also dawned in black wizard robes. He'd obviously tried to comb his hair but it had failed miserably.  
"Alright?" She asked them.  
They both had slightly red eyes.  
James nodded.  
"Honestly, I'm fine."  
Lily smiled.  
"That's great."

She ran a hand through her hair and smoothed it down.  
Sirius looked over his shoulder.  
"Going to head up."  
He turned and disappeared up the stairs.  
Lily sat up, crossing her legs.  
James sat down beside her and smiled his crooked smile. He put his arm over her shoulders and Lily stiffened.  
He didn't notice.

After a moment of silence, James turned to look at her. Lily stared at her legs but he put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up. Lily felt herself shiver as he ran his hand up her face.  
She stayed still, her hands clenched.  
James leaned in. This wasn't what she wanted, was it? She'd said to Marlene that they should be friends first and not rush into anything. And friends don't kiss each other.

As he neared her face, so close that Lily could see the amber flecks in his hazel eyes, she turned away and moved back.  
James froze.  
"What's wrong?"  
Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…" She had no idea how to finish that sentence.  
"You just what?" He said.  
"I don't…I don't know, James."  
"Don't know what?" Said James, his voice suddenly sounding anxious.  
Lily looked down at her hands.  
"This…_us. _I think…well, I want us to be…to be friends. Just friends."  
James's mouth fell open.  
"I was planning to tell you. I want to be your friend, James."

He stood up suddenly.  
"What happened? Did you talk to anyone?"  
Lily shook her head. "What? No. I just, to be honest; I don't really know you all that well. And I don't want to rush into anything."  
There was a silence between them.  
"Are you joking?" James said, his voice quiet. "I thought-"  
"I know." Lily interrupted. "I-I changed my mind."  
His face fell, lines creasing his forehead.  
"What if I don't want to be your _friend? _Don't I get a say in this?"  
"There's nothing to discuss. I'm sorry, okay?"  
"I just had the most horrible day of my life, Lily. And I just kept thinking, at least you will be here when I get back. You got me through it. And now you're telling me this?!"  
Lily felt her eyes tearing up.  
"I know the timing isn't perfect…but-"  
"You can't just snap your fingers and decide you don't like me anymore!"  
His voice was rising. Already the occupants of the common room were looking over at them excitedly.  
"Of course I like you, James. I'd love to be your friend."  
James shook his head, his ears going red.  
"Bloody unbelievable."  
"I didn't think you'd make such a fuss!" Said Lily, trying to keep her voice steady. "We were never _going out, _were we?"  
"I was going to ask you!" James shouted. He lowered his voice. "Right now actually. Was going to ask you to come to Hogsmeade on a proper date."  
Lily looked down at his feet, unable to look into his eyes.  
"I'm so sorry." She said, again. "Can't we be friends?"  
James took a deep breath and shook his head. His back slumped.  
"Why not?" Said Lily, the lump in her throat becoming more painful as she blinked the tears away.

James walked over to her in two big strides and kneeled down close.  
"Because I think I'm in love with you." He whispered. This close, Lily could see that his eyes were glistening. "Please." He said, so quiet that only Lily could hear. "Don't do this, Lil's."

Lily felt a hot tear spill onto her cheek. She wanted so badly to just say okay. Agree and go to Hogsmeade. They'd probably have a wonderful time, as well. But she just couldn't.  
It was all too fast!  
"I…I'm sorry." She said for what felt like the fifteenth time.  
James clenched his jaw.  
He stood up and walked back a step.  
"James!" She said, standing up. "Can't we just be friends?"  
He scratched his forehead.  
"I don't think so, Lily." His voice was so defeated that Lily wanted to take it all back.  
Lily walked closer to him, but he stepped back.  
"I guess," he said. "I guess that things will go back to normal."  
Lily shook her head, tears falling freely now.  
"No! I don't want that to happen." She grabbed his arm. "Don't make that happen."  
James shrugged her off.  
"This was your decision, Lily."

James turned his back on her and took a deep breath. He then walked over to the boy's stairs.  
"James, _please!_" Lily shouted, nearly hysterical. How could she have screwed things up so badly? "_Talk to me!_"  
James didn't look back. He walked on up the stairs.

Lily stood there, crying herself out. She was aware of the Gryffindors staring at her but couldn't care less. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut?


	36. Having a breakdown

**Ooops...It's been a while, hasn't it?  
Sorry about that. I'm planning to finish this story at 40 chapters, so we're nearly done here! Let me know what you'd like to see happening next, i'm running out of ideas slightly to be honest and it's proved tougher than I thought to keep up with all of the individual plot lines and characters.  
Chapter 39 coming soon,i promise!x  
**

_2 months later**  
**_Lily piled her hair on top of her head and put her hood up. She let herself fall backward, hitting the cold snow that covered the ground.  
She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Marlene, Alice and Hestia were chatting in hushed voices to her right, sitting on a fallen log. Lily could feel their eyes on her, but ignored it.  
They'd noticed her acting differently, and even thought something was seriously wrong. But Lily firmly disagreed. She was _fine. _She just felt like she'd finally…grown up, matured. All of the drama, the tears, the screaming and shouting; it was all just unnecessary. And it was, wasn't it?

Lily had been 'James-free' for 2 months now. Ever since that night that she so longed to forget but never the less frequently played through her mind, everything had changed.  
Lily and James were acting entirely different than ever before. The emotions towards each other were no longer anger, no longer hatred, certainly no longer any type of affection or friendship. No, they were indifferent.  
James acted like he'd never met Lily before, and Lily acted like she didn't care about the way James was acting.  
Lily trained herself not to look him in the eye, not to laugh at anything he said. In the beginning, it had been difficult. She'd even thought it impossible.  
Lily remembered going to bed that night and staring at the ceiling, her head aching from crying so much. She remembered telling herself that James didn't mean it. Of course he would be her friend. It would be fine.

Now she knew better.  
Coming down the next morning, with every eye in the room following her, was the worst feeling in the world.  
Or so she thought.  
Turned out, the _very worst _feeling, was tapping James on the shoulder, ready to have a calm talk about what had happened, and him turning around and raising his eyebrow, before walking away.  
After that, Lily hadn't even bothered to make the situation better.

Lily snapped back to reality; the snow was making the back of her neck go numb.  
"Lily?" Marlene's voice. "You okay?"  
Lily sat up but kept her eyes closed. "Yes." She said. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Well," said Alice. "You were lying on the snow, you're soaking Lily!"  
Lily opened her eyes and squinted at the girls.  
"Whatever." She stood up. "What time are you guys going home at?"  
The girls, and most other inhabitants of Hogwarts, were leaving for the Christmas Holidays today. Unlike Lily, who had decided to stay here rather than go on a 'joint family holiday' with the Dursleys. Her parents actually hadn't argued with her about it; they didn't seem to want to go either.  
"We really should be heading to the platform now, actually." Said Hestia, standing.

She walked over to Lily. "Have a lovely Christmas, Lily." Hestia hugged her.  
"You too." She replied.  
She exchanged similar goodbyes with Alice and Marlene, and then they were gone, heading to the carriages.  
Lily stayed out for a while longer, until she couldn't feel her toes and her cheeks were burning with cold.

* * *

James felt a snowball hit his back, and he turned around, glaring at Sirius.  
"Piss off, mate. I'm not in the mood."  
Sirius laughed, striding up beside him. "You're never in the mood these days. For anything."  
James rolled his eyes, putting his hands into the pocket of his coat. They were walking back to the castle from saying goodbye to Remus and Peter at the carriages.  
Sirius and he, quite frankly having nowhere else to go, were spending their Christmas at Hogwarts.  
"I can't believe I have to spend another three weeks with you." Grumbled James.  
Sirius scoffed. "You spend every minute of your day with me."  
"Exactly," James argued. "I don't even get a break now."  
"Oh, shut up."

The rest of the walk was spent in silence. James stared at the steam coming from his mouth and nose every time he breathed out.

James didn't know what was wrong with him. He could never think of anything to say, to anyone. Not even Sirius.  
He couldn't be bothered with the pranks, the jokes. He was constantly tired.  
James was living. But that was it.  
He didn't feel like himself. James longed for the parties and the wild nights, but he just couldn't be bothered anymore. In a way, it was good that it was Christmas; a time for peace and quiet and solitude.  
Merlin, even in his mind, that sounded sad.  
James could feel himself drifting away. Teachers had eased their watch on him, girls walked right past, even Snape was finding the nerve to actually look at him in the halls.  
It was getting ridiculous.

And, what James did know, was that it was all the fault of Lily Evans.  
She'd single handedly destroyed everything that was good about him.  
It made him angry sometimes, thinking about how she'd ruined everything. Mostly, it made him sad. Made him want to cry and crawl into a warm cupboard and stay there forever.  
But, well, that was just impractical.

"Earth to Prongs!" Sirius shouted into his ear.  
James looked up and raised an eyebrow. "What?"  
"You've been staring at the sodding wall for 5 minutes."  
James sighed, pushing open the portrait hole. "Sorry." He muttered, walking away and over to the chair beside the fire.  
Sirius followed.  
"Listen, mate." He said. "I've had enough of this; this sad act. I know you're all depressed about Evans, but there's no need to ignore your friends for the best of two months. I feel like you're a different person! This…this angsty teenage girl that has possessed you, needs to leave. Because I know James Potter and this isn't the boy who I became best friends with way back in first year, when girls didn't even exist in our eleven year old minds." Sirius stared hard at James. "Snap out of it."  
James rolled his eyes, but Sirius's speech had made him feel better.  
"I am sorry," he said, smirking. "I didn't think I'd bothered you that much."  
Sirius shifted his feet around, mumbling. "Didn't mean it that bloody much…" James laughed and Sirius joined in. For the first time in months, he felt kind of normal again.

The portrait hole swung open, and James turned his head around to see who was there. The laugh died on his lips and the smile faded away. Lily had walked in.  
She paused at the door, her cheeks were red and there was a blue tinge to her lips. Her hair was damp.  
James stared at her, his lips pursed, and Lily stared right back.  
Sirius, trying to break the tense silence, started speaking. "You staying for the holidays then, Evans?"  
Lily blinked twice and turned to Sirius, nodding her head. "Yep."  
"Cool." Said Sirius, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "See you later then."  
Lily walked forward a step, nodded once at Sirius and hurried up to her dorm.

Once she was gone, James relaxed back into his chair.  
"You really need to sort that out, Prongs." Said Sirius. James rolled his eyes.  
"There's nothing to sort out. This is the way it is now."  
"Yeah," his friend said. "It's the way you're forcing it to be, not the way it has to."  
James sighed.

* * *

Lily tore off her wet jumper and lay back on her bed. Now that she was inside, the cold was making itself known. Soon she was shivering and shaking, her teeth chattering.  
Lily got up, and went into the bathroom to have a hot shower.

Half an hour later, she was out and dried, snuggled in old jeans and a huge jumper with a blanket around her. But she still felt freezing. Lily wished she hadn't lain in the snow earlier because she really felt terrible now. She thought it would be warmer down in the common room, but didn't want to risk seeing James again. Every time she saw him she felt like throwing up. She felt like she was slowly suffocating, the air around her disappearing with every look into his eyes.  
She was bored. She was tired. Tired of looking around corners and having her eyes anxiously sweep the room to check if he was there. It wasn't fun. It was monotonous. Lily wanted to talk to James, but not just that, she wanted to talk to Remus and Sirius and Peter casually without feeling awkward about who their best friend was. She missed the chats with Remus and jokes with Sirius.

Lily decided not to go down for dinner. She stayed wrapped up in bed with a book she'd read before.

* * *

"This is weird." Sirius said, as he glanced around at the nearly empty hall. There were just 9 students eating currently, so it seemed ludicrous that they were all spread out in the colossal space. Two Slytherins were sitting at opposite ends of their table; three sad looking Hufflepuffs were sat at their table, there were two Ravenclaws and then James and Sirius.  
It was hard not to notice Lily's absence.  
"Wonder why she didn't come down." James said nonchalantly.  
Sirius shrugged. "Maybe she's not hungry."  
James nodded.  
"Cheer up mate, it's Christmas Eve tomorrow!" Said Sirius through a mouthful of Shepherd's Pie.  
James smiled, though the thought of Christmas made him ill. It would be his very first Christmas without his parents beside him.

* * *

It was three in the morning.  
Lily couldn't sleep. Her stomach was rumbling and she realised she hadn't had anything to eat all day. After searching the dorm for sweets with no luck, she decided to go down to the kitchens.  
Lily felt strange; her head was spinning, but she put that down to being so hungry.  
On arrival in the kitchens, she found a couple of the house elves sitting down at the table eating miniature mince pies. Lily giggled to herself, she'd never even seen a house elf sit down before, but obviously they had to rest some time.  
"Hello, miss." Said the one closest to her. He stood up and skipped over to her. "Would miss like to try one of the house elves special Christmas pies?"  
Lily smiled. "Yes please." The elf too Lily's hand and led her to the table. She sat down and was immediately brought three of the desserts. Her hand dived for one and she stuffed it into her mouth, the cinnamon flavours exploding and making her mouth water even more.  
"These are amazing." She said, grinning.

After she'd eaten all of the pies, the elves brought her a cup of tea and Lily settled in the chair, staring lazily at the wall.  
Unfortunately, doing nothing caused her to think. And think and think and think. Think about the things she'd tried to push from her mind.  
How five ministry officials had been kidnapped the other day and were believed to be dead. How dark magic was roaming the streets, striking fear into the hearts of both Wizards and Muggles. It was considered dangerous to be out by yourself in Diagon Alley these days, though with half of the shops closed, many had no reason to visit anyway.  
Her parents were in constant danger. Everyone was.  
All because of that deranged, psychotic _maniac _who clearly loved ruining other people's lives. Lily clenched her fists and breathed in, pursing her lips. She could feel herself getting angry.

Perhaps if Voldemort would just piss off, Lily could get her old life back. But of course, it wasn't all Voldemort's fault, was it?

There's the great big walrus that is Vernon Dursley, waltzing in and stealing her sister away from her and putting an even bigger wedge between Petunia and she.

Then there's the slimy git that is Severus Snape, who had ruined their friendship and was even smugger these days now that he knew that it hadn't worked out between Lily and James, as he'd predicted.

Professor Slughorn, making her teach the annoying first years potions _every single week. _

James Potter who refused to be friends with her because she hurt his pride.

And of course…Lily herself. She'd ruined it all, in the end.

Lily was shaking. On impulse, she knocked the empty cup off the edge of the table. It smashed into powdery fragments. She heard the house elves inhale and one knelt over to brush up the mess.  
It wasn't enough.  
Lily needed to get her frustration out. Suddenly, with a loud cry, she stood up and took out her wand. She flicked it and sent all of the neatly lined plates on the shelf flying and falling onto the crowd. Noise was all around; smashing porcelain and the scared elves shouts.  
Lily turned to the glasses, which were half full of pumpkin juice in preparation for breakfast. She raised them high, up to the ceiling and let them fall with a screech of rage.  
Lily let her eyes focus for a moment, and saw the elves, cowering under the tables by the stove. She felt tears dripping down her cheeks and let her arm fall limp.  
"I'm sorry." She whispered, looking around at the debris. Her breathing became erratic, her whole body trembling. With a grunt, Lily fell to her knees and held her head in her hands.  
_What's the point?_ She thought to herself. Then her throat seemed to close up. Lily gasped and gulped for air that wouldn't come and she felt her eyes clouding over, black spots blotting out her vision.  
_Panic attack…  
_Her heart was pounding, her head aching.  
_Heart attack…?  
_Lily laughed manically, one short, wracked gasp. She wasn't old enough to have a heart attack…was she?  
_Insanity  
_Lily scratched her neck with her fingernails. Yes, that sounded about right.

Exhaustion took over her. Lily's head felt like it weighed a ton. Unable to keep upright, she tumbled over and drew her knees up to her face, still sobbing in choked breaths.  
She didn't realise when she fell asleep, in the middle of the smashed crockery.

* * *

"Suspended?!" Sirius barked out. "Evans got suspended? I don't believe you!"  
James nodded sombrely. He'd found out from a Hufflepuff that Lily had freaked out in the kitchens last night and destroyed the whole place.  
"Apparently she lost it. Scared the elves half to death."  
Sirius shook his head, evidently in shock. "I can't believe it."  
"Something must have been badly wrong." Said James.  
Sirius nodded.  
"I think Dumbledore understands though, she's suspended during the holidays…so basically nothing is different."  
James sighed. He felt bad for Lily. He also felt guilty. James was pretty sure that part of Lily's freak out had been due to him. He just hadn't realised it had bothered her that much. She was a good actress; that was for sure.  
"Maybe…" James said. "Maybe I should talk to her."  
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Are you mad? She'll kill you!"  
He shrugged. "But, I feel like some of this is down to me." James stood up.

"I'm going to find Lily."


	37. To friendship

**AN:/Hello people:D So, I am gonna do a sequel set through seventh year and after they leave school (D:) I hope you enjoy this one, it ends on a slightly happier note than in previous chapters..  
**

Lily was sat in the broom closet. The closet where she'd sat in the same exact position over a year ago, worried about running into James. Now, ironically, she was hiding here for the exact same reason. But she wasn't just hiding from James this time; she was hiding from everyone.

Suspended!  
Lily actually found it hard to believe. Dumbledore had woken her from the kitchen early this morning and brought her to his office. He'd given the typical speech about how disappointed and shocked he was, before telling her he had no choice but to suspend her. Lily had burst into tears right in front of him. She hadn't admitted it to anyone, but ever since Slughorn had talked to her about becoming Head girl next year, Lily had been thinking non-stop about it. Of course, now because of what she'd done, Lily was certain any chance she had had been annihilated.

And it was no one's fault but hers. She couldn't blame it on anyone else. No one had told her to smash the kitchen and give a couple of poor elves heart attacks.  
Lily banged her head on the wall behind her, groaning.  
Melinda Doris had a better bloody chance at head girl and she was the biggest slut at Hogwarts with the intelligence level of a broken mop.  
Lily put her head in her hands and continued muttering to herself.

* * *

James ran up the deserted corridor, nearing the cupboard where the map told him Lily was hiding.  
As he reached the door, James placed his hand on the wood and breathed out slowly. Now that he was here, he didn't actually know what he was going to say.  
_Sorry you got suspended? Oh, I still don't want to be your friend, bye!  
_He rolled his eyes.  
Before he could think about it, James pulled the door open. It revealed a startled looking Lily, staring up at him with watery eyes.  
"Hi there." He said tentatively.  
Lily raised an eyebrow. "What do _you_ want?" She said bitterly.  
James bit his lip. "Er, I heard about what happened and I thought you maybe needed someone to talk to, I-"  
Lily laughed coldly. "Are you serious? What makes you think I want to see you?"  
James sighed. This wasn't going well.

"I just, I can see that something is wrong with you and-"  
"There is _nothing wrong with me." _Lily interrupted, snarling.  
"Okay," James backtracked. "But, you have to admit that stunt you pulled last night wasn't very Lily-esque."  
She shrugged.  
James looked at her for a moment before closing the door behind him and sitting down as far away from her as he could. He didn't want anyone over hearing their conversation.  
Lily had groaned and was looking stubbornly down at her knees, which she'd drawn up to her chin.  
"I get that you don't like me right now, Lily, but I'm worried about you."  
Lily looked over at him and glared.  
"I'm not your concern, _James. _You made bloody sure of that when you decided to ignore me."  
James nodded. "I know that, and this…this doesn't change anything. I just don't want you doing anymore stupid things."  
"Why do you care?!" Lily said, frustrated. "You're completely contradicting yourself!"

James pulled a hand through his hair. It was really warm in here, in such little space. But he refused to leave until Lily saw sense.  
"Okay, tell me why you decided to destroy the kitchen. When you tell me, I'll leave, I promise."  
Lily groaned.  
"Merlin! I don't know, okay? I barely remember doing it!"  
James frowned. "I'm sorry you got suspended."  
"So am I." Lily snapped. Her hair was loose and she shook it down over her face so James could no longer see her eyes.  
"It's no big deal. I've been suspended about 27 times now." He smiled a little.  
"It's a big deal for me!"  
"Why?"  
"Because…" She paused. "Because I actually thought I had a tiny chance at maybe getting Head Girl next year. But they'll never pick me now."  
James shook his head.  
"Of course you'll be head girl!" She looked over at him. "You're Lily Evans! One screw up in 6 years isn't going to stop them from picking you."

For a second, James saw her smile. Then she turned away and hid behind her hair again.  
"There's no one else." He said quietly.  
She looked over again and stared at him. James realised the tone in which he'd said that had sounded like he was talking about something entirely different.  
Perhaps he was.  
"There's always someone else." She said, in a similar tone.  
James shifted ever so slightly so he was closer to her.  
"Not this time."  
They locked eyes, and it was as if the fight had never happened and the past two months had been a bad dream. James reached out and carefully tucked her hair away from her face.  
She shuddered and looked down.  
"It's Christmas Eve." Lily said suddenly, breaking the trance. "I hadn't realised."  
James let his hand fall.  
"Oh yeah."

There was silence.  
"I actually think…I think I should go write to my parents so it arrives on time tomorrow." Said Lily. She stood up and put her hand on the door handle.  
"Bye then."  
And then she was gone. James was alone.

* * *

It was the evening.  
Lily was sitting in the common room with a book. Her eyes couldn't seem to pass a single line though. She was preoccupied with random thoughts. She couldn't let herself ignore what had happened between her and James earlier, it had almost been a catastrophe. If she hadn't of gotten herself out of there before she did, well, Lily didn't want to think about what could have happened.

Another distraction was James and Sirius playing a rather rowdy game of Wizard's chess just across from her. She had to admit; some of the things the boys came out with were hilarious. They involved multiple swear words uttered with passionate voices and worrying eloquence.

From what she understood, Sirius was losing.  
"NO!" He shouted suddenly. Lily looked up and smirked. James's queen was smashing Sirius's last knight into powder. "You sodding wanker, James Potter." Sirius said, crossing his arms. "You can forget getting your Christmas present from me. It's going straight down the toilet!"  
James laughed.  
Sirius looked over at her, a distraught look on his face.  
"Can you believe this, Evans? He cheated!"  
"I did not!" Laughed James. "Not my fault you suck dragon balls at this."  
"I don't! I am the chess master!"  
Lily laughed at how nerdy that sounded. If they were in the muggle world right now, Sirius would certainly be punched for that last comment.  
"I beat Moony and Wormtail all of the time!"  
"Peter is obviously going to let you win, he's crap at it anyway. And Remus just can't be bothered to argue with you, so he lets you win too."

Sirius shook his head frantically. "Lies. I refuse to believe a word of it."  
Lily smiled and looked back down at her book.  
After minutes of which involved Sirius breathing heavily and muttering to himself, the boy stood up. "I'm going upstairs to let you mull over the utter bullshit that has come out of your mouth tonight." He saluted Lily over dramatically. "I bid thee goodnight, fair lady."  
Then he skipped, yes _skipped, _over to the stairs and bounded up them, disappearing from sight.  
Lily laughed again. "He's mad."  
James nodded his head. "As a hatter."  
Lily looked over at him. "You know Alice in Wonderland?"  
James nodded. "Yeah, of course!"  
"But it's a muggle story!"  
He shrugged. "My mum…" He paused, gulping. "She liked to read me those when I was younger. Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella…that one about the…the nine elves and the good looking bird with the black hair."  
Lily burst out laughing. "You mean Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?"  
James nodded. "That's the one!" He grinned. "Anyway, Alice in Wonderland was always the one that stuck out for me. Though, the cat was creepy as hell."  
"I'd like to be Alice, I think."  
James raised his eyebrows. "May I ask why?"  
"Well, she gets away…enters her wildest fantasy and forgets about her problems. I'd like to forget about my problems, for a little while anyway."  
He nodded.  
"I get it."

Lily looked down at her book again, squinting her eyes in confusion. She was actually enjoying this conversation with James. Even stranger, she didn't want to stop talking to him. Then she realised, this is what she had meant; being friends, knowing things about the other and having things to talk about.  
He spoke again, causing Lily to look up. "I would like my own copy of the book, actually. Maybe I'll go into a Muggle bookshop and buy it someday."  
Lily smiled.

They continued to talk, and Lily learnt more about James. He'd rode his first broom just weeks after he took his first steps, though it was just a toy one. He hated mushrooms to such an extent that he'd 'formally banned' them from entering the household when he was six years old.  
Lily was also telling him things; nothing serious, nothing that could hurt her if anyone else found out; just playful, funny things. Like when she'd fallen out of a tree when she was nine, but had strangely avoided any injury. She'd told her parents that she'd somehow levitated down, or something had slowed her fall. They had laughed.

What felt like hours later, Lily yawned. She laid her head on the arm of the chair.  
"See James," She hesitated to say, afraid of ruining things. "We can be friends."  
There was silence. Lily heard James breathing fast. After an age, he replied.  
"Well Lily…I think, I think so too."  
Lily sat up, thinking she'd misheard him. But James was smiling his crooked smile, his eyes warm.  
She jumped off the sofa and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly before letting go and looking at his slightly stunned face. Lily was tearing up.  
"Sorry, It's just I'm not quite sure you know how long I've wanted you to say that."


	38. Secret love

**AN:/ah...hello...  
****It's been a while, hasn't** **it?**  
**But i have an excuse! The charger to my laptop broke and I only just got a new one a couple of days ago. I feel so bad for not updating:(  
****But here it is...The penultimate chapter of this story- ooooooh!  
****Enjoy:D**

It was almost summer.

Exams were over and done with, the students and teachers alike finally able to relax in the practically tropical weather which had fallen upon the entire country. The sun never ceased to shine and it became a gruelling fight each day to see who would get the best spot by the lake, under the biggest tree which cast it's merciful shadows over the ground.

This particular day, the marauders and their female counterparts were the lucky ones. They had all brought their duvets out and had placed them under the tree, creating a comfy area to lie in the shade when it got too hot.  
The lake was scattered with people swimming and having fun, the banks covered with girls and boys taking advantage of the rare sunshine.  
It was a nice scene, Lily Evans thought as she cast her eyes around her; a scene of peace and happiness and laughter. It was far from the devastating goings on just beyond the safety of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Daily life was replaced with having to accept the inevitability of cold-blooded murder on your doorstep and the feeling of never knowing whether your own family were alive or dead.

She frowned.  
As Lily stared at two seventh year's chatting in the shallows of the lake, she couldn't help but feel like it was all put on.  
The pair were laughing and joking but the smiles didn't reach their eyes. If you looked hard enough, everyone had fear in the depths of their eyes these days. Others are just better at hiding it deep down where no one can find it.  
Surely the two students who will be leaving school forever in just two days are utterly terrified, Lily knew she certainly would be. There is no job that can secure your safety, or your family's safety. No amount of planning and protecting can stop a Deatheater or two from simply pointing their wand at you and saying the two words that can make anybody's blood run cold.  
Lily lay down and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

She supposed, that what with everything going on, which some people had dubbed 'The Wizarding War', she and the others had grew closer than ever before. She found it easy now, to call James, Sirius, Remus and Peter her best friends. Because that's what they were.  
In all of the terribleness, as bad as it sounded, Lily found herself finally truly enjoying her life at school.

Since Christmas, James and Lily had grown inseparable. They were with one another for most hours in the day, either with the others or alone. It was just so easy, simple. Lily just couldn't quite believe it had taken 6 and a half years to happen.

"Oi, Evans!"  
Lily jumped slightly as she heard that familiar voice call her name. She'd had her eyes closed, been daydreaming for Merlin knows how long. Suddenly she felt something cold dripping onto her forehead. Her eyes shot open and she found James, approximately two inches away from her face. The coldness was water dripping from his hair, which was soaking wet.  
"Stop being such a boring sod and come into the lake!"  
He smiled his crooked smile and Lily laughed, pushing him away and sitting up. She pushed her hair over to one side and glanced over at James, who was sitting with his legs spread out in front of him.  
"I'm not going into the lake!"  
She looked down to see Alice, Sirius, Remus and Hestia splashing each other, shrieking as the cool water hit them. Marlene was lying a little away, facing the tree trunk. Her face was twisted in a permanent scowl, down to Sirius Black. Marlene seemed to hate Sirius more than ever, for no apparent reason. Well, no reason that Lily knew of. Sirius sort of ignored her too, though he tried a little harder to try and be civil when they were around each other. It was sad, but everyone just tuned them out. The constant tension between them didn't fair well for the rest of their friendship group. Though Lily and James knew that they couldn't say anything without being huge hypocrites, seeing as they used to act just like Marlene and Sirius.

Lily looked back at James, who was pouting. "Why not?"  
"I don't want to get my hair wet."  
James stared at Lily for a moment, before jumping up and pulling her in to him and lifting her feet of the ground, his head buried in Lily's hair.  
Lily screamed as she felt his freezing cold-and dripping wet-arms around her bare shoulders.  
"JAMES PUT ME DOWN!"  
James laughed loudly into her ear. "I want you to come into the water!"  
"ARGH NO!"  
Lily punched his back as hard as she could and he flinched a little.  
"Promise you'll come into the lake?"  
Lily shook her head.  
James took a step closer to the edge of the water.  
"Fine!" Said Lily. James let her down, grinning. "Bloody arse." She mumbled, turning her back away from him and walking over to Marlene.

"Coming in?" She asked.  
Marlene looked up at Lily and raised her eyebrows. She flicked her fringe away from her eyes.  
"No." She said shortly, her tone sounding horrifyingly Petunia-esque.  
"And why would that be?"  
"Black is over there."  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
"So? Come on Mar, you'll have to make up with him soon."  
"Why?"  
"Because we're going to James's house in two weeks to stay and Sirius also lives there?"  
Lily smiled, she had been delighted when James had asked them all to stay at his house for a week during the summer because his Grandparents were going on a Muggle cruise due to their fascination with Muggle engineering. They would be there, all eight of them, just having fun. And no one wanted Marlene to be sulking the entire time with Sirius trying to avoid her at all costs.  
"I'm not saying you need to be best friends," she continued. "but I think you should have a chat with him."  
Marlene glared at her. "Don't tell me what to do, Lily. You're one to talk about long term feuding with someone who you had to deal with at all times."  
Lily nodded slightly. "Yes, yes I know, but James and I worked it out, didn't we?"  
Marlene scoffed. "Okay, talk to me in six years time. I bet we'll be best friends by then!" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.  
Lily breathed out sharply.  
"Just because you don't like Sirius, doesn't mean you have to be such a bitch to the rest of your friends."  
She walked away and joined a bewildered looking James, who obviously hadn't heard a word of their conversation.

Hours later, they started heading back up to the castle. Marlene's absence was noticeable, though no one said anything. Lily wasn't guilty about saying what she said. It was completely true. Despite her and James's past differences, Lily honestly couldn't remember letting herself be rude to her friends, because it was unfair and they had nothing to do with it.  
Obviously she'd apologise to her friend at the first opportunity, but Lily hoped Marlene had listened to what she'd said.

"I feel like a giant prune!" Peter said abruptly. Lily looked over and saw the boy staring at his wrinkled hands.  
"And you look like one too." Sirius said. "And not because of the water, I might add."  
Peter shot a glare at Sirius and puffed his cheeks out, though he also stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatshirt.  
Lily was walking with Alice and Hestia. They sort of had a silent agreement to wait to talk about Marlene when the boys weren't with them. Everyone was skirting around the topic and over compensating because of it. Sirius was being too loud, making jokes too often that just weren't funny. It was obvious to Lily that the whole thing was bothering him greatly.

When they reached the entrance hall, they parted ways, with the Marauders saying they were going down to the Quidditch pitch before dinner. Lily and the others headed to the common room, commencing their talk about what was to be done about Sirius and Marlene.

* * *

James walked beside Peter and Remus as they headed down to the pitch. Sirius was walking in front of them, his head cast downwards.  
James glanced over at Remus, who rolled his eyes, gesturing to the back of Sirius's head. James chuckled.

Sirius's head spun around. "What's so funny?"  
"Nothing." Said Peter.  
Sirius glared at the smaller boy and looked at James. "Sure it was." He sighed. "Are you pissed off at me or something?"  
James laughed. "Padfoot, you are aware of how feminine that sounded?"  
Sirius laughed sarcastically. "Oh shut up, Prongs."  
"I'm not annoyed at you, mate." Said James. "I just think you should have a chat with Marlene before school ends. Y'know, clear the air."

By now they had arrived at the sheds, which the school brooms were kept in. Sirius avoided the question by taking his wand out of his pocket and looking towards the general direction of their dormitory.  
"Accio Nimbus 1000" He muttered. Moments later the broom zoomed into his hands. "No way I'm using those brooms. Wouldn't get a foot off the ground."  
"Padfoot," Remus said sternly. "You're avoiding the question."  
Sirius stared at him, and James noted that his hands were clenching the handle so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.  
"Merlin." Said Sirius. "I will, okay? Now can we all quit acting like soppy fourth years and play some Quidditch?"  
"Well thank god for that!" James said dramatically.  
No one replied, and James looked over at Remus who was smiling weirdly at him.  
"What?" James said. "Is there something on my face?"  
Sirius laughed loudly.  
"You didn't say 'Merlin', you said 'God'." Explained Remus. "You've been spending too much time with Lily."  
James blushed. "Oh, I didn't even realise."

Sirius hit hefted his broomstick onto his shoulder. "James Potter. You are blushing like a 1st year. Wormtail, you're acting even more needy than usual. And I have a sneaking suspicion that Moony over here has a secret stash of romance novels he reads at three in the morning. Are you three secretly girls because right now I wouldn't be surprised."  
Sirius promptly flicked his hair with the back of his hand.  
Remus snorted.  
"Anyway, anyway," Sirius continued. "We are the marauders. We are men. And we do not _blush."_ He eyed James, causing James to blush.

"Sirius gives up." Said Sirius, taking a step backwards.  
"I see Sirius has taken to talking like a caveman." Remus remarked.  
Peter snorted, picking up one of the school brooms.  
"You're not actually using that lump of wood?" Sirius said in a rather deep voice. "You see this Wormy? State of the art broomstick I've got here."  
"And here he goes," Remus said to James. "Talking about broomsticks. How very manly of you Sirius."  
Sirius laughed statically. "Remus, you're so bloody hilarious, did you know that? I didn't reckon all of those love stories had any humour in them!"  
"I don't read romance novels!"  
"What was that book under your pillow then? 'Our love is spellbinding'?"  
Remus blinked.  
Sirius continued, now speaking in a squeaky, dramatic voice. "Lucy is a muggle working in a shop. David is a pureblood Auror. When their paths meet unexpectedly, it will take more than just a spell to break them apart."  
James looked over at Remus and burst out laughing, bending over and setting his hands on his knees.  
"Shut up Sirius! Hestia recommended it to me!"  
Peter and Sirius began to laugh and after a while they all broke down into hysterics. After fighting to regain his breath, James looked over at Remus.  
"How was the book then?"  
Remus nodded solemnly. "It was a tragic love story."  
James caught Sirius's eye, and that set them off for another 10 minutes.

"This is more like it!" Sirius said later when they were walking back from a rather heated game of the sport. "The marauders are back!"

* * *

Sirius wrung his hands together to stop them from shaking. He was being an idiot. Why was he so nervous?  
He was standing in the Astronomy Tower, watching the half-moon shine dimly in the dark sky. Earlier, Sirius had instructed James to tell Lily to tell Marlene to meet him here at nine o'clock.  
Whether the girl would actually turn up or not…well that was another matter.  
He reckoned it was about five to nine. Sirius closed his eyes for a moment and tried to slow his breathing.

* * *

"Should I go?" Marlene said, her eyes wide as she stared at her friends for an answer. When Lily had told her earlier about Sirius requesting to meet her, Marlene had felt the urge to throw up. She had no idea why even she cared so much.  
"Of course you should go." Lily said, her tone patient. Marlene bit her lip and glanced away from Lily. Everything she had said earlier had been true; Marlene knew she'd been acting horrid to everyone around her, and it wasn't fair on them. She supposed she just wasn't as good as keeping her emotions in check as Lily.  
"You reckon?" Said Marlene, her voice shaking.  
"I think so." Alice said from across the room. She was lying on her stomach with a book in her hands.  
"Hestia?" Marlene looked to the other girl, who was sitting on the window ledge. "I don't think it would be a bad idea to talk to him, Marly."  
Marlene rolled her eyes. As much as she hated to admit it, part of her really did want to talk to Sirius. She missed the fun they used to have. She knew very well that everyone thought all they did was snog in dark broom closets, but that wasn't true. They used to talk about the future, and the war and what they wanted to do to help defeat Voldemort. They had the same career ambitions; to become Aurors.  
Sirius was unbelievably passionate about fighting against the dark arts, and talking to him about all of the terrors made it all seem a little bit less…terrifying.

Marlene pursed her lips, her decision already made.  
"Okay. I'll go."

* * *

Sirius waited for about another 10 minutes before he heard someone tiptoeing up the stairs.  
He nervously turned around and saw Marlene appearing a little at a time, her blonde hair (up in a ponytail), then her blue eyes which were wide open…her nose and her mouth, pursed as she clenched her teeth.  
Marlene stopped at the top of the stairs, and Sirius became aware of just how awkward this was going to be. He'd chosen the quietest place in the castle for Merlin's sake!  
"Hello." He said, hoping she couldn't hear his racing heartbeat from across the room.  
She nodded. "Hi there." The girl took a step into the room. "What is it you want?"  
Sirius gulped.  
"Um, I think we should…we should talk about, about us."  
"Alright…go for it." She put one hand on her hip and turned her head to the side. "I'm listening."

Marlene stared at Sirius and waited for him to start talking. She reckoned she was doing quite well so far in hiding her nerves…putting her hand on her hip had done well to stop her entire body from quaking.  
After a brief moment, Sirius took a deep breath and began to talk fast and very un-Sirius-like. She listened.

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of the group were in the common room.  
Lily had her knees drawn up to her chest, her hands playing with a hair bobble she'd had on her wrist. James was sitting beside her, and she found it difficult to ignore his arm slung lazily around the back of the sofa. If she just moved her head ever so slightly backwards…technically his arm would be around her…  
Lily told herself to shut up.  
She could feel those feelings creeping back up on her…the feelings she'd first found at that horrific party at Melinda Doris's house.  
She was being ridiculous…everything was perfect right now! The last thing they needed was for her to screw it all up by telling James she actually maybe did want to go out with him.  
Lily stopped herself from thinking and tuned in to her friend's conversation.

Remus and Hestia were debating whether they should go up to the tower to check that a fight hadn't broken out.  
"I think we should leave them to it." Said Hestia. "We'll only make it worse."  
"But what if Marlene jinxes him or something!" Remus argued.  
"Well, we'll just have to wait and see."  
Remus shook his head. "This is ridiculous."

Peter was munching his way through a bag of Fizzing Wizzbee's on the other side of Alice who kept glancing over at the chubby boy with a look of distaste.  
"I'm going to see Frank, okay?" Said Alice after a moment.  
Lily nodded and smiled. "Have a nice time."  
Alice jumped up and left the room.  
Everyone knew that Alice and Frank were perfect for each other, that they would get married and buy a home and have lots of cute little children who would share their parents love for Herbology. And Lily was happy for her friend; she just wished it were as simple for her.  
Frank was the year above them, and was going to begin his training as an Auror next year. Alice would find it difficult to be without him for such a long time, but Lily was confident they would get through the long distance. They'd been going out since fourth year after all.

Remus and Hestia's bickering soon stopped and the group slipped into a comfortable silence. As much as she hated it…Lily's mind kept coming back to the boy sitting just beside her, and for the first time she wondered if she'd made a mistake in being 'just friends'.

* * *

Marlene raised her eyebrows as she stared at Sirius. He had finished his speech and she had given up on trying to conceal her anxiety.  
"So…what are you saying Sirius? That you like me?"  
Sirius blinked and breathed in deeply.  
"I don't know, okay? I've never felt this way before…I've never had the time to. And I stopped talking to you because you make me act like a different person! You make me act like James does when he see's Lily. And I don't _want _to act like that. I joke, and flirt and prank everyone. I don't mope about after a girl!"  
Marlene looked down at her hands, which were sweaty.  
"You're worried about your image?"  
Sirius shrugged. "I don't want people to think any different of me. If I had a proper girlfriend…well that would change me. I don't know if I'm ready to take that step."  
Marlene nodded. She paused before speaking.  
"What if…what if we didn't tell anyone?"  
She bit her lip after she'd said it. She'd practically just told Sirius she liked him.  
"You think that could work?" Said Sirius, his eyes widening.  
"Sure it could," Marlene replied. "We just pretend that we still hate each other. I don't want everyone knowing I'm actually going out with you anyway." She said playfully,

Sirius stared at the girl in front of him. Could they do that?  
Could he be with her and still be Sirius Black?  
He smirked.  
"You like me then, McKinnon?"  
Marlene laughed lightly. "Don't push your luck, Black."  
"I'm really liking the sound of this plan." He said.  
"Me too." She grinned.  
"Well then…" Sirius laughed. "Marlene McKinnon, will you be my secret girlfriend?"  
"I think I would quite like that."  
"Fantastic." Sirius took a step towards her. "Now c'mere…I've been wanting to kiss you for months."  
Marlene smiled and closed the distance, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
Maybe, just maybe, this could work.

* * *

Lily didn't realise she'd fallen asleep, but the sound of shouting made her eyes jolt open. Her legs had fallen slack and were touching Jame's side and her head had been resting on his arm. Lily gulped and quickly moved away from him. James didn't notice, his eyes drawn to were the shouting was coming from.  
"You absolute prick, Black. Don't talk to me ever again!" Marlene said, her back turned away from him  
"Bloody psycho!" Sirius shouted back.  
Remus stood up. "Wow…what's going on?"  
"I hate him!" Marlene yelled. She stalked over to the stairs and stomped up them. Lily sighed, knowing she'd have to go after her friend.  
"Bloody hell Padfoot!" James said, laughing slightly. "What the hell was that about?"  
Sirius stared at them. "…It didn't go well. I don't know what you all thought was going to bloody happen anyway. I'm going to bed."

**AN:/you've probably guessed that the things happening here will be leading up to events in the sequel...heheheh**


	39. Forever

**AN:/Well guys...here it is, the last chapter. It's sort of just a little bit to introduce the first plot in the sequel.  
Now that Meetings In The Closet is finally completed, i'd like to thank you all for the amazing reviews- without you I wouldn't of been able to stay motivated enough to complete this. All of you who have favourited and followed me or the story, thank you for thinking it was good enough to want to read on!  
Now that this is finished, I plan to sort of re-write some of the older chapters that i'm not happy with at all. There are a lot of things I don't like about this story (loads of unfinished plots and characters I sort of forgot about-writing a long fanfic is harder than you'd think!) so I'm going to improve it a little bit.  
**

**Then onto the sequel! I can't say when chapter 1 will be posted as I don't even have name for the story yet...and i haven't thought about it much at all.  
Also, I have an idea for a new fanfic (not to do with HP) that i'm excited to start and I'll probably post it up on here.**

**So...all i have left to say is I hope you enjoy chapter 41. Goodbye for now!x**

"Ready?" Lily Evans said to her best friend Marlene McKinnon.  
Her tall friend sighed. "As I'll ever be."  
The pair were beginning to walk up the long, straight path that lead to the huge expanse that was Potter Manor. It was a beautiful Victorian style house, painted white with black window frames and door.  
"This is going to be great," Lily said, attempting to cheer the mood up a little. Marlene had made it terribly clear that she would rather be anywhere else.  
Said girl clicked her tongue at Lily and pulled her backpack higher up on her shoulder.  
"I don't see why you're not looking forward to it."  
Marlene didn't say anything for a moment. "Two words," She finally replied. "Sirius Black."  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Y'know, at times you don't even seem to mind Sirius."  
She looked over at Marlene who turned her head away from her. "Rubbish." She mumbled.

Lily chuckled and turned her head back to the house. The front door was open now, and she could see James Potter, waving madly with both of his arms in the air.  
"Nutter." Said Marlene.  
Lily gulped, her eyes locked on the boy.  
It had been just two weeks since they'd last seen each other, but Lily had been missing him more than she'd thought possible. James wasn't the most reliable at replying regularly to letters, so they hadn't really spoken much at all.  
She was looking forward to spending time with him again, though also whenever she was with the boy, Lily always felt a little sick in her stomach. He made her feel excited and anxious all at the same time and Lily knew very well exactly what those feelings meant.  
Lily Evans definitely liked James Potter a little _too _much.  
Too much to pass off the deep regret which had settled inside of her; of how she had missed her chance.  
Lily told herself to stop thinking about what could have been. The most important thing right now was being friends and hiding her true feelings.

She hadn't felt her feet still carrying her up the lane, but it seemed they had arrived. Marlene was walking slightly ahead, and James walked down the front steps to her and embraced her tightly.  
"Hey Marlene." He said, grinning. His eyes met Lily's and she smiled.  
James let go and came towards her.  
"Hi, James." Said Lily.  
He pulled her into a deep hug, his head in her hair. "I've missed you." He whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear.  
Lily shivered slightly as James pulled away and grinned, his arm slipping over her shoulders.  
Lily looked up at the doorway. Sirius Black, dressed completely in black, was leaning against the doorframe.  
Sirius looked down at James and Lily.  
"Alright, Evans?"  
"Amazing." Lily grinned. "And you, Black?"  
"Decent enough." He said, his eyes flickering over to Marlene for just a moment.  
She was standing, rather awkwardly, with her hands in the pockets of her cardigan.  
Lily cleared her throat.  
"Is everyone else here?"  
James nodded.  
"Yep! Come on in. Screw everything going on in the world, I'm here with all of my best friends and that's all I currently care about. We're going to have the best week ever."  
Sirius turned and walked inside, followed by Marlene.  
Lily looked up at James. "We are also going to sort those two out." He whispered, grinning.

She nodded. "Brilliant."  
They walked into the house and James led her upstairs to her room.  
"Marlene and Sirius must have gone into the living room, that's where the others are."  
"Oh, alright."  
"But this is where you and Marlene will be staying." James smiled sheepishly. "I hope it's okay."  
Lily looked around the beautiful room.  
"It's amazing." She grinned, setting her bag on one of the double beds.

James laughed. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you downstairs?"  
Lily nodded. "Yeah, I'll be down in a second."  
He smiled and pushed his glasses off the bridge of his nose, walking over to the door. James looked over at her for a moment before he disappeared back down the hallway.

Lily lay back on the bed and waited for her heart rate to slow.  
She was about to sit up when her breathing faltered.  
A sudden realisation hit her, all at once and utterly confirmed.  
She didn't know what would happen in her last year at school, she didn't know what the future held. Lily didn't know what was going to happen next or who else was going to die. Whether her friends would stay friends and whether her family were safe.  
And it was scary, terrifying even.

Everyone needed something to hold on to, something they were undeniably sure about amidst all of the uncertainty.  
And what was Lily Evans completely certain of?  
_That she loved James Potter._

And she always would, no matter what.

* * *

_**And if you want to follow me on twitter: emilyrose_1!:D**_


	40. Author's Note

**_Author's note!_****  
So I've changed a couple of tiny things throughout the story and you have probably noticed that the chapter's now have names, but other than that there are no differences to the plot, haha. **

**On the sequel: I'm excited to get started writing the sequel, but i'm having trouble thinking of a story name..  
I know this is a lot to ask but if anyone has a good title for the next story, please please please PM me about it. Of course i'll give you full credit for the name!**

**One more thing: OVER 300 REVIEWS! Thank you all soooooooo much :3 x**


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